Am I just being cheap?

[chipscheeseandgravy]

When I was pregnant my friend bought me a gift which cost about £75. I'd never asked for it, she bought it off her own back. She basically saw one and bought it. Don't get me wrong it's proved helpful, but she could have bought a non branded one for £70 less and I would have got the same use out of it.
She's now pregnant and has asked me to buy something at roughly the same value. It's some sort of gizmo. (Won't be too specific). In my mind it's ridiculously expensive and pointless. It feels like she's found something expensive and thought oh chips can get me that. This is the second idea she's given me that falls into the 'very expensive' range .
I've said I'll 'look for one'. I can't afford it, I've just gone back to work part time, so need to pay some bills of. I don't have much spare cash, and with 2 family weddings, 2 hen do's, ds first birthday, and 6 birthdays (mil, sil, fil, dp and 2 other relatives) within two months. I don't have the cash to buy something that's so much.
Am I just being cheap? I also hate buying things I see as pointless (because I'm cheap). I can think of plenty of other things that are much more useful (and affordable) that I can get.
I can afford something up to about £50, but that's a push. Would You be annoyed if as your best mate (of 10'years) I didn't get something you 'wanted'
She doesn't seem to understand the concept of money and that some people don't buy the most expensive thing in the shop.

But she already has two things that make a rocking chair rock. her legs???

Get her something useful. Or better yet get her something you found invaluable and hand down a load of your old stuff. Seriously she will soon learn that the baby won't care. And neither will she.

Unless she is one of these rich blogger mummys who somehow have everything including a big house to keep it all in.

A boppy has quite usefull?

Actually maybe just tell her you can't afford it and give her money towards it. If I was her I'd rather that than something random.

But do hand old clothes, toys to her, she will appriciate that!

Are there any second hand ones on EBay? That's where I'd look first.

To add to the derailment I can imagine being at work and saying 'I was at the train station this morning' and someone piping up 'RAILWAY station'. Bet they're a barrel of laughs.

Wheres it from? You might be surprised as theres a lot of decent vouchers/discounts out there that can bring the cost down... couple of examples is £10 off a £50 spend on mothercare.. sometimes 10 or 20% off jojo maman?

Often sites like very have £30 off a first order as well (you can pay outright so no need for credit).

Im not saying you should use your money for it but theres maybe ways you can keep your pride and get what you want but closer to your budget.

I can't tell if you're being cheap or not. On the one hand, you say you can't afford it in which case you aren't being cheap.
Otoh you spend most of your OP saying how you don't like paying for brands.
If you can't afford it, it doesn't matter what you think of brands.
If you can afford it (but wouldn't choose to buy brands for yourself) then I would say suck it up because brands are important to your friend and it's a gift for her.

I would get it. She got it for you. But when the dust settles put a limit on gifts like 15 pound and maybe at Christmas too. Agree with selling your thing to top up the cost.

can you say you've finished with the one she gave you, pass it over to her, and buy her a lower cost gift of something that you have found especially useful?

Another one at train station.

Yeah my mum always correct me when I say it to 'station' - as in without the word 'train' preceding it.

I think it illogical as I am differentiating between that and the bus station, or it could even be the coach station.

Not read all the thread, but noooo, bollocks to that! She bought you a present at £75 because she wanted to. You said yourself that it was lovely, and you appreciate it,said thanks etc.
That doesn't mean that you have to go out there and buy a £70 present in return though! You don''t give to receive!
She's got some nerve.
If she's a decent person she'll love whatever present she gets regardless of cost.

"Train station' is more accurate than 'railway station'. 'Station' derives from 'to stand' and it is the train that is standing, not the rail.

And, yeah £75 is way too much for a gift if you're on a tight budget.

If she's a good friend, just tell her you're sorry but you really can't afford what she wants. I would specify a budget because otherwise she'll come up with something else probably at £50.

I don't think your been mean. You have a lot of events coming up and your trying to manage these on a budget. Just because your friend spent £75 on your present does not mean you have to spend the same or buy the lastest expensive gizmo that she wants. If you put some though into a gift you don't need to spend a fortune. Have a look on amazon or in tk max as in the past I got good value their. I would agree that a decent person like a present when some though is put into chosing the gift.

That doesn't mean that you have to go out there and buy a £70 present in return though! You don''t give to receive!

Agree. So she shouldn't have asked her what she wanted and said she'd buy it if she didn't want to do so over a certain limit. She should have just bought her a gift that she herself chose.

I wouldn't spend £75 on a present unless it was a very big occasion- wedding, 21st, that sort of thing. New baby gifts in my world are small but thoughtful.

£75 is a lot of money to me. And it's so awkward to be stuck in the "similar value" trap when someone spends more on you than you can reasonably afford to spend back again. But gifts are gifts - not obligatory. So give what you're comfortable with and explain you just can't afford that thing she wants.

So much I wanted to say, and almost every PP on pg 2 has said it for me (except the comments about trains and where they stop, about which I do not give a toss!) [how's that for grammar, you pendants!]

OP, I'd buck the trend by
Finding a bargain on Ebay or
Getting your friend something amazing that she HASN'T thought of (at a price that suits you) or
if you're at all arty, making her something everso personal. A collage or a memory book or a picture.... something money can't buy. There's no way she can complain about that. It might cost you in time, but doesn't need to cost you in cash. (if you're arty or creative, which sadly, I'm not!)

Also agree that if she's any kind of close friend, you can confess you're skint and can't return in kind.

Is there any chance that once your child has outgrown, you can pass on her gift back to her for her to use in the future? Win/win!

apologies that many of these suggestions have been made already. there's some good thoughts on this page imho!

Good luck, OP.,

Is there a third friend whom you can team up with to give the gift together?

Or pass on yours and buy something new (but less expensive) as well?

Why do you say "cheap" when the word should be mean?

If it's not a good product I'd gently tell her that, and get her something that in your experience has been more useful. My most useful purchase was a really simple one - a pregnancy/nursing pillow. Best thing ever.

Never heard of anyone buying baby gifts so extravagant... It's unfair of her to expect you to match her gift. Always a little baby outfit or toy with my gang, even for best friends.

Well maybe get her what she would like, or your max budget as a gift voucher, or talk to her and explain why you are not buying it.

On southern they call it a 'station stop'.