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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dd where am I going wrong?

2 replies

Iamthedogsmother · 22/06/2017 17:39

My DD is eight and in year 3. She used to be supremely confident but when she started school she was bullied. I took her out of that school and she seemed happier. We then moved area with DHs job so she now her third school.

She's shy and lacking in confidence. She's full of self doubt. Nothing I say makes any difference. I have always encouraged her to be friendly to other children and she is. Everyone says how kind she is. But she's usually overlooked by the other kids. She doesn't have a best friend which I'm sure would help her enormously. Other kids are friendly with her but usually when there's no one else around to play with. She constantly on the fringes. We've done tonnes of play dates and sleepovers.

She does stuff outside school - karate, gymnastics, drama. All intended to boost her confidence but it's not really helping in friendship groups.

A girl has just started in her year (it's a very small school, 100 kids in infants and juniors). This other girl is being bullied. My dd has taken the other girl under her wing, we've had some play dates with this girl etc. Now that my dd is being friendly other kids are being nice too and I think my dd will be left out again.

I just want her to be happy and I'm sick of her being forgotten about.

OP posts:
Iamthedogsmother · 22/06/2017 17:41

I've spoken to school but they're not much use. I've thought about moving her again but dh is against this and there are no other schools places nearby.

OP posts:
Zaberwocky · 22/06/2017 18:25

Firstly, get yourself out of the mindset that you are doing anything wrong! Neither is your daughter! You are doing everything you can for her. It's great that she's involved in lots outside of school, is she enjoying the activities?

I really hope someone comes along with better advice, but I was very much the same at her age. I think bullying can have a bigger impact on your confidence at such a young age than you think, this may be OTT, but has she had any counselling/spoken to pastoral care at school or maybe give her some space to talk about what happened? I wouldn't be surprised if she's fearful of being rejected or bullied again, even if she's unaware of that.

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