Social Story for 9 year old?

[ohh]

Hi All. My DS teachers have suggested I make a 'Social Story' to assist my DS getting ready for school. He was diagnosed with Visual and Auditory Perception (disorder last name I think but cannot remember.) In year 3 ehen a fantastic temp teacher covered maternity and he recognised DS struggle with learning new words and essentially Phonetics. No other problems. Has a support plan at school.

Now at 9 they are concerned about his behavoiur; so am I a little; acted out something he was asked to do by so called friends and was given a red card. Called in etc. Started using bad language in frustration or ask him something and he walks of muttering gutter language. No laughter from him to indicate thinks funny. If you question him about behaviour he doesn't understand why what he did or said is wrong, or show remorse. Gets upset as usually a very kind, loving, caring boy .

School getting an education behavioural specialist to look/ assist during a school day. This will be in September term.

What am I supposed to do in the meantime! Help needed with Social Story. Also for washing hands wiping bum after toilet. It's weird as he knows what to do as says " oh yes sorry" or lies and says "I have" when clearly hadn't.

Sorry for long rant. Hard when previously he was a little immature but lovely. Put that down to older siblings and losing a close family member 3 years ago. My DM. Help!

There is an app called Special Stories which is supposed to be good, though I haven't tried it yet. There are also several examples on the Internet which you could use or adapt. Basically, you need descriptive sentences (describe what happens, where situation occurs and why); perspective sentences (describe reactions/responses of others, feelings etc); and directive sentences to describe the desired behaviour or response to a situation in positive terms, using first-person language (e.g. "I will try to remember to wash my hands every time").

If getting ready for school is a problem you could also try a visual timetable - pictures of every stage of getting ready with a short caption - that he can keep referring to.

Websites such as sparklebox or twinkl have some good visual aids you can download (aimed specifically for children) this might help with visual reminders.
Sometimes it can be worth doing the social story with your child- take it through step by step and get them to draw pictures/ model with toys (photo for story)- that way it can be tailored for them. You can make them for all sorts of scenarios such as getting ready, dealing with playground issues etc. Lego can sometimes be quite useful.
There is a book full of social stories if that helps- your school headteacher or SENCO should be able to get this for you.

Thank you. I think pictures would work better.

When I year 3 speech and language specialist advised me to use simple language with I instructions not a sentence.ie "can you please get dressed and brush your teeth as we are going to be late" to "DS dressed teeth please"

If you google "social story about..." you will probably find something you can adapt.

I did a social stories course last year via SALT which was very useful

If you'd like to PM me then I can send you lots of info such as frameworks for social stories.

Of course, none will be specific to you but I also probably have over 300 you're welcome to adapt.

I've used these quite a lot and adapted when needed for individuals.

www.talkingmatters.com.au/information/downloads

Re: washing hands. Try putting a highly scented handwashing soap in the bathroom. I do this so I can smell if mine have washed their hands. Now they now I can tell they stop trying to avoid doing it - and it means they have to wash them properly rather than rinse under the tap. You may need a social story as well if your ds is forgetting (mine are just lazy/skanky) but it is a quick way of knowing if it had been done.

Barbarianmum. I buy simple antibacterial liquid soap as it is mint scented and DS has exvema so kind to hands.

If I'm honest I'm a bit cross with school suggesting DS has mild autism spectrum. Haven't we all?

Schools cannot diagnose autism. But no we are not all "on the ASD spectrum" - although many of us have traits- being on the spectrum means you have a very real disability.

If the school think they can see something in your ds that requires diagnosis, I wouldn't be too quick to dismiss them though. They may be wrong - in which case no harm done (its not an insult). But if they are right and it's missed, that would be doing your son a great disservice imo.

School offering to get this "very good Specialist" to visit was probably a good idea to access further help if needed. Surely if he does have signs it would have been diagnosed earlier? Can it be picked up later at 9/10 years?

Yes it can, especially at the more high functioning end of the spectrum. You could post on the Special Needs section on here for better advice than i can give.

We are just in the road for a diagnosis at age 8 and I don't think it's unusual.
I've seen a couple of books on Amazon but I definitely recommend doing a timetable type thing (whatever form you think is best) eldest dc has adhd (not diagnosed till mid teens) and it really helped.
The more support you get the better so try not to think of it as negative x

Your ds behaviour mirrors my ds who has been diagnosed with ASD and his SALT recommended social stories however I also find visual time tables helps in the morning along with rewards .

For hand washing and other school behvaiour I know how upsetting it can be and wish i had an answer . I think it is good the school is offering help, my school did nothing and I had to push through my GP.

There are lots of resources on the Internet to make your own, if you google - social stories, visual timetables etc. The ones I have made may be something like...

Bath time
mum runs the water
I take off my clothes
Mum helps me into my swimming trunks
Mum helps me into the bath
I play
I wash my face and body
......etc

Each statement is accompanied by a visual image.

I would ask the school senco if they know of any good resources, or if there is anyone who could help you with how to create them. You can buy generic ones online, but they often need tweaking for each child.

It could definitely be possible to miss an ASC up to and including adulthood. If the school has called in an Educational Psychologist (is this right?) then they will be thinking he needs additional support, and should refer you to other agencies. The school should not be suggesting what they think is the reason for needing extra support though, by saying that he may have autism etc.

Massive love and thanks out to all the responders on here . I have yet to find the special needs section on this site though.

I think i was shocked and ignorant myself. 2 normal (i use the term very loosely!) children an normalish 3rd child then suddenly increasing weird behavior. Incidentally is better if has exercise outdoors most days. Like he needs the run off.

Perfect, exercise is brilliant release the hormones in the brain that help with concentration and memory too so that brill. X

Jajabonks ;great name!; my other challenge I think is DH doesn't believe in all these diagnoses. Thinks ASD and the such always existed and children were classed as difficult. I think he was incidentally! See lots of sons traits in DH.

If DS plays on iPad for over 40 mins gets introverted and zoned in. Really stroppy if told to come off.

Heavily into routines as well.

Yeah it is difficult when others don't believe in it but all I would say is keep an open mind like you are doing, write down things that will come to mind about various things that have happened over the years as one thing on its own may well be nothing but when all added together may give a clearer picture x

Surely if he does have signs it would have been diagnosed earlier? Can it be picked up later at 9/10 years?

Some people with autism (especially high functioning ones) are not diagnosed until adulthood by which time they have all sorts of MH issues. My son was not diagnosed until he was nearly 8 although we had had concerns since he was 3. A friend's daughter (who is much higher functioning than he is) was not diagnosed until she was 15 after having a nervous breakdown.

It's good that they are investigating your son. Good luck OP

If DS plays on iPad for over 40 mins gets introverted and zoned in. Really stroppy if told to come off.

We used to have this with the computer. I got round this by using the cooker timer and telling DS he could have 30 minutes on the computer but when the beeper went he had to come off which worked really well. They need to know in advance what is going to happen then they cope better.

SN Chat is here OP
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs_chat

Very basically, if school are willing to support and help your son, bite their hands off. You won't at present realise how lucky you are that they have offered help

Doesn't matter what your DH thinks, he's very much mistaken, , ASD and a host of other conditions are only diagnosed by medical professionals. We are not all on the spectrum, it's not a linear progression.
the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

No-one gets a diagnosis unless they fit an awful lot of criteria. Tests can take some time and often for children, lots of professionals are involved. Often there are questionnaires for the parents to complete. May I suggest that you complete these on your own OP, then your DH won't have the opportunity to minimise his responses whilst he's trying to make your son appear to be just like any other boy.
Good Luck, school have already started the journey towards helping your son, please support them in identifying his needs.

Try posting here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_educational_needs

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs

Surely if he does have signs it would have been diagnosed earlier? Can it be picked up later at 9/10 years?
I was diagnosed in my 40s!
And ASD etc. have always existed but were classed as difficult or whatever - but diagnosis is much better these days (though still lacking in girls and women, and older people generally). If I'd been born 20-30 years later I'd probably have been diagnosed when it was still early enough in life to make a big difference.