To desperately need a hand hold

[Christinedonna]

Have a 10 month old daughter with OH, I've just found out I'm pregnant and he's decided he hasn't been happy with me for a while and me refusing to get an abortion was the final straw so he wants us out. I just feel lost. He said he'll help financially and with whatever we need and be there for us but just doesn't want to be with me anymore. I just have so many questions going through my head. We have a little holiday booked for July that he still thinks we should go on as "DD deserves it", how does he expect me to be around him after this? How on earth will I manage on my own? Why does he seem to cold about this, happily getting suitcases out for me to pack our lives up and leave. Will he eventually cut contact with us all together and not bother with the babies? Why me???? After all the shit he's put me through in our relationship and I have been the one to forgive him, get over it and worship him, how can I still not be good enough? How can he walk away from our daughter, KNOWING he won't spend every possible minute with her because I'm pregnant and he doesn't want it. It's like punishing her and making me feel bad about it because I won't have an abortion. Sorry I'm ranting. I'm just broken

Ehhh look...as hard as it is to view it this way atm, he has essentially handed you a perfect out. Take it.

Your relationships sounds very unbalanced with you doing all the trying and forgiving. He treats you appallingly...he's not even faithful. He appears to be immature, selfish and cold. He is poor father material and you will have a better time of it without him. That's the truth.

This same scenario has happened to my young niece but she keeps going back to the arsehole and he has completely destroyed her personality. Please OP get away from him, he has no respect for you or you dc, you deserve better than that. Dont become like my poor niece.

And no to the holiday. The emotional turmoil will cause far greater damage than losing the cost of the holiday will. If it's over it's over - bye bye, make good your escape.

He is an utter arse. You and you children deserve much better.

I wouldn't, however, move out until he has shown you how much he has saved for the deposit and given you your half. I think if you move out without it you can kiss that money goodbye.

Its not your fault. This is him not you.

Wow, what a prince amongst men

I know you're hurting, but trust me when I say that you'll look back on this and think "thank fuck".

You get 2 wonderful dc out of this, AND freedom from a nasty, manipulative, cheating cunt.

Please don't even think about going on holiday with him. Why on earth would you put yourself through that?

He's a piece of shit you don't need. Your "worshipping" of him is a symptom of your lack of self respect and low self esteem. I don't even know you, but I know you are worthy of respect just the same as any other woman.

You are in a very vulnerable position. You need to get hold of your half of those savings asap. You also need to make arrangements to get child support, probably through the CMA (is that the new name for CSA??).

You should go on your holiday with dd. He's not invited and he can fuck off if he thinks he can come along and play happy families.

You, your dd and your unborn baby are worth more than this useless cocklodger.

To add to pp's good advice I would say don't leave his mums house until he has transferred half of the money to you. It is not his money, is is both of yours.

It sounds like you are effectively a single mum as it is so you know you will cope just fine. Honestly being a lone parent is so much easier than being in a bad relationship.

Cut him out, as much as you can. You don't have to facilitate contact, he does.

He sounds really horrible and one day you will look back and wonder what on earth you ever saw in him. Right now focus on protecting you, dd and your bump. Child Support people, benefits, at least half of savings etc. Asap. Take photos of savings books and wage slips if you can before you leave.

And who booked the holiday? If you, can you afford to change the booking, take a friend and go anyway?

"You should go on your holiday with dd. He's not invited and he can fuck off if he thinks he can come along and play happy families."

Yes good point. He has bailed on you...what on earth makes him think he's still coming on holiday? Is he fuck like.

If you can face it, you go. Personally I think it might just be the change of scenery you need to gain perspective about him.

If it would be too fraught for you then don't go...but honestly, if you can go and enjoy time with your daughter and make plans for your future, you'll be better armed to move on from this unloving man.

And btw don't forget the basics here. He has ditched on you. He has resolutely removed himself from your life together. He no longer gets to call the shots. You don't have to answer to him or hear him out any more. He has made the choice to relinquish himself of that privilege by ending the relationship.
Don't allow him to tell you how it's going to be.

We're all settled in now and DDs dad has not made any attempt to contact me all day. He got up early for work this morning to see or stuff packed and piled up ready to go, he's got home from work tonight to an empty house with none of our stuff left there and that doesn't make him want to say anything? How can he not care like that

Because he's a cunt! Your better off without him, sounds like he checked out of your relationship a long time ago

I hope things are ok for you op (under the circumstances)

He is not worthy of you