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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to quit "perfect" job

12 replies

hippospot · 21/06/2017 20:52

I was a SAHM for nearly 10 years and a few months ago I got the "perfect" job - fits within schools hours, term-time only and local. I initially enjoyed it and got confidence from having another identity after so long as "mum" and "wife" of. It's an admin job and as time has gone on I realise that although I enjoy the social aspect of being at work, the work itself is now quite boring and apart from other admin-type jobs in the same organisation, I can't see much future there.

The salary is low, though I admit I have enjoyed earning some of "my" money. But the fact is we don't need this salary and we have always pooled our money. DH has always been very supportive and fair about our roles - seeing ourselves as part of a team. He has a fab career and earns over 10 times what I earn doing this PT job. So WIBU to quit and maybe do volunteering and hobbies or studying and running the home?

I really miss having time at home to potter and it has to be said that even with a cleaner once a week the running of the home has gone to pot and we now spend our evenings and weekends doing a lot of the things I used to do during school hours. I have also given up my hobbies and gained weight through lack of exercise. DH works long hours and travels and our quality of life is definitely affected by my working.

Please don't roast me alive. I know I am in a very privileged position. In some ways I also feel there are people more deserving of this job who need the money more than I do.

OP posts:
peachgreen · 21/06/2017 20:56

YANBU. I think a lot of families would love the chance to have a stay at home parent, whether that be full or part time, for all the reasons you've mentioned. If you find running your home fulfilling, you don't need the money and you ensure that you're making future provision for your pension (not just your DH's) then why not quit? You could always look for something part time if you think that might work better for you.

peachgreen · 21/06/2017 20:57

Also there will be parents who DO need to work who would kill for your job so you'll be doing someone a favour!

Admirablenelson · 21/06/2017 21:01

If you don't enjoy the work and don't need the money, why would you keep it going? Self-respect? Well, there are other ways to obtain that.

Tinseleverywhere · 21/06/2017 21:02

I have a boring term time job because it fits in with family. I like the social side too but I would love to quit if we could afford it. I think you should do it!

BrutusMcDogface · 21/06/2017 21:06

Absolutely, yanbu. I have a perfect sounding term time, school hours job but the house, and my mental health, are currently falling down around our ears! Grin if I could quit, I think I would.

loaferloveforyou · 21/06/2017 21:07

Oh goodness, definitely not BU! If you don't need the money and don't enjoy it leave. Let someone else take the job who may need it more and do something you enjoy whether that be a hobby or volunteering. Echo PP though - make sure you protect your penguin!!

loaferloveforyou · 21/06/2017 21:07

Sorry auto correct - PENSION!

Though if you have a penguin protect them too!

BrutusMcDogface · 21/06/2017 21:09

Haha! I would love a penguin! Grin

harderandharder2breathe · 21/06/2017 21:13

Yanbu

If I could afford not to work I wouldn't, and I don't even have children

As PP said, make sure you have pension provision for you not just DH.

StealthPolarBear · 21/06/2017 21:21

What does your dh think? Might he want to potter at home and do some hobbies?

NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 21/06/2017 21:21

See, I'm not sure if I agree with the others. I'm in a similar posistion as you and do work term time only (only until lunchtime and I think this makes a massive difference)
I like having a life away from my family, something to discuss and people to bond with out of the home and family. My SIL didn't go back and now the children have lives of their own, is too nervous to do anything.
If you fill that gap with voluntary, I think it would be great but I know how that part easily slips when you have a busy life.

gillybeanz · 21/06/2017 21:30

YANBU you need to do what is right for you.
If you don't need the money you'll probably nt get satisfaction from low paid admin work.
I'm sorry that you felt that not working and being a sahm you were mum and wife without any other identity.
Maybe this is something to think about.
After 25 years as a sahm I started work in November last year, purely for the short hours and low pay, which as yet we still need.
As soon as our immediate cash flow problem is sorted (not income) I'm out of there and living my life again.

Look at what you want your life to be like and find things that interest you.
Nobody should lack identity because they happen to be a sahm and wife Thanks

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