To be pissed off at the lack of support?

[MolesLikeCheese]

Dd2 is 6 and has ASD.

I knew we were in for a tough evening as she came home from school particularly stressed and emotional .

Bedtime has been a disaster and she has epically lost all control .

I've had to leave her in her room to calm whilst I sort the other two DC for bed also . Now they are playing up in the chaos.

DH has fucked off out to his mates.

I've text him a few times just to vent and you know for a bit of support . Nothing .

I text my mum (who doesn't actually believe in Autism ) , just explaining DD is having a tough time and again , just for someone to talk to .
Nothing .

This happens every fucking time !

I will mention things to my parents now and again about how we are helping DD and they roll their eyes and dismiss me - I'm just desperate for someone to understand how tough this is !

I'm trying my best to figure out triggers and ways to help DD and DH hasn't read a single thing / research . Nada.

I'm left to figure it all out myself with no support and I'm pissed off tonight ! I'm keeping my calm with the DC .

It's been an hour and DD is still frantic .

I can't do anything for her , so I'm hiding in the bathroom for a breather !

AIBU or a bit needy by reaching out to people ?

I'm beginning to feel like a nuisance - but it's so stressful at times and we rarely get a break !

We have -
Sensory night light
Box of rice (he loves the feel of it in his hands, so something similar?)
A heavy blanket that he burrows under
His quiet space under the stairs
Bongo drums (instead of lashing out at me or DD he hits them)
Water beads in a bottle to shake
A lava lamp
And a box of clothing tags (his comfort thing is rubbing tags on blankets/clothing)

When everything gets too much I literally hand him the night light and dump the blanket on him whilst he's still screeching,

Oh and we have ear defenders!

A heavy blanket would be good for DD - thanks !

Can I ask in what situations you use the ear defenders for ? or are they for you ?

His triggers are mainly over stimulation, so during busy shops/coming out of school in the rush/the hoover/food shopping basically any suitation where I know there's going to be alot of people & noise or other kids
We have the teddy bear blanket from dunhelm mill at £40 in extra large, it's nearly as big as my front room and super soft lol

We use defenders occasionally for noise (her younger asd is non verbal and screams) she is very noise sensitive.

Weighted blanket could work. Some local services loan them out. Do you have much of a night time routine?

I do an insane amount of sensory activities with him as well as he's very much into textures and chewing on everything
Msqueen33 whats your night time routine like as im still struggling to get DS asleep before 10:30/11

If you don't mind me asking for some tips that is haha

Night time routine is also out of the window here too !

It takes hours for her to go to sleep. Especially with the lighter nights .

My ds used to bottle frustration during the day and lash out in the evening so can totally empathise. I moved him to a different school and they are amazing!! They give him "brain breaks" so if he's feeling tense in school he can go out of class for a while to calm down.
Talk to your dd's teacher and senco. I found sometimes I have to fight for help but if you nag enough it happens sometimes

Stay strong

Have you tried melatonin? I've just ordered some for DS, so fingers crossed it works! The paed recommended it!