I've just found out I've got my dream job as a secondary headteacher, starting later this year. I've had fifteen years' teaching experience (the last five of which have been in SLT/deputial), most of it in a small local school where not only did I know every single pupil by name, but could list all the subjects they were studying, who they liked, disliked, hobbies, etc.
By contrast, my new school has five times the number of kids and is widely regarded as the worst in the area. Exam passes and staffing numbers are extremely low, and 'bottom 20%' (oh how I detest that phrase) kids make up over half the student population. There was a (thankfully non-fatal) stabbing on the school grounds a few months ago, three staff members have ended up under investigation in the past two years, you get the picture of what it is like.
I have a meeting with the current SLT at the end of next week and all of a sudden I am bricking it. I've been working up to this my whole career, it's my dream job and I know I was the best candidate for the job. It's probably just cold feet.
Yet I suddenly find myself panicking that I won't be able to deal with the darker aspects of the job, with how it will affect me emotionally and mentally, in two aspects. The first is that so much needs to be done to improve the school and if it doesn't go to plan, I'll be the one getting blamed for it. The second is the difficult things I'm going to have to deal with - things of which there were just about none at my current school.
And it'll be so physically draining too. I'm looking at twelve hour days to start. I'm 45, fit and healthy, but I've seen people age drastically after a couple of years a HT. I'm terrified it'll have that effect on me too.
Am I being unreasonable, or is it just cold feet? Any advice thankfully received 