Toddler violence!

[MyBreadIsEggy]

I'm just home from a local under-5's play group and shit went down
My 2yo DD was playing on a little ride on thing, my friend and her 10mo were just to the side of her, and I was just across the room with my 8mo, I could see my DD clearly.
Everyone is playing, and a little boy, must have been around 3/3 and a half, grabbed my daughter by the neck and pulled her off the ride-on toy and pushed her to the ground! My friend picked my DD up just before she cried and told the little boy that that's really not a nice thing to do, but before I could get there or she could stop him, the boy picked up the ride-on and swung it in a rage straight into her 10mo's head
The baby had a cut on his head that was bleeding quite a bit and a big bump on his head! My DD had finger marks and scratches on her neck. The baby was cleaned up and logged in the accident book, but when we returned to the main room, the little boy and his mother were nowhere to be seen.
I don't know if they were asked to leave by staff or if she chose to leave, but there was no apology at all. If that was my DD who had done that to another child I would be apologising forever to the mother!
AIBU to think she should have apologised and maybe checked that the baby was ok?!

Probably had enough to do getting him out.

If an apology from the mum meant the child had time to hurt someone else I would have been annoyed!
So it was probably best to leave as quickly as possible.

Blimey. She probably just bundled him out of there. I would've been mortified if it was my kid. She should have said sorry but it's probably for the best that they just left. Hope the baby is okay now.

Yeah I guess she was embarrassed!
I would have been if it was one of my kids

This is how I met my best friend of twenty years...her ds split my dd's lip open at toddler group. She was mortified and came round to apologise, we're friends ever since. He gave up his violent ways and is a fine law abiding young man now

If the parents of injured children were busy tending to injuries and my child needed to be removed I don't think I'd disturb people, I think I'd just leave. I might ask someone from the playgroup to pass on my apologies, I might turn up again another time to apologise. Or I might never show my face again.

One of mine seems to be developing quite a temper and this is a massive fear of mine.

I hope the 10mo and your daughter are okay.

I think she was probably embarrassed and just thought it would be best to remove her son from the situation.

Three is still very young, I doubt the little boy meant it maliciously!

If it had been my child, I would have asked for staff to pass on my apologies and never go back.

Even though the child is 3, I'm sure he knows that you don't hit other children, especially babies, with toys.

His mum must have been mortified.

I'm a nanny and I tend to avoid playgroups because I'm so fed up of people who take their children there and let them run riot.

Yes, I agree with others that she was horrified and embarrassed and probably dealing with a screaming angry toddler and thought it best to just go immediately. Hope the injured children are not too sore!

Well the mum removed the lad from the situation so at least there's that. Maybe she was nervous to come up to you and apologise - my DH had a parent square up to him over a pretty mild mishap where 2yo DS bumped into a smaller toddler who bounced off him and landed on her bum.

I'm sure he has been told it's wrong, but three year olds aren't exactly known for being rational most of the time!

I totally get the embarrassment....if it had just been my DD with a few bruises I wouldn't be overly surprised that she just left because toddler do fight over toys - but my friends poor baby was bleeding from his head that's why I'm surprised she left without a word

Are you certain she witnessed it? Do you know who the boy was with? If she saw it I can't believe that she wouldn't acknowledge it at all, that would be terrible.

Funnyface yes, I know the mother from other groups - she was sitting near to me with her younger child so could see what I could see

I had a similar, though not as serious, incident at the toddler group I attend.
New child arrived, about 3 years old. Proceeds to push, shove and punch any child who had a toy he wanted. Mum did nothing.
Well, right up to the point he tried to pick a fight with a child who didn't back down and punched him back.
Once he stopped crying, she went back to totally ignoring him again and he picked a fight with my son. Tried to snatch a toy and my son refused to let go.
New child was then in floods of tears, claiming my son had hit him when he hadn't.
Mum then notices her child and says something along the lines if "Oh well, some children just aren't very nice." and goes back to ignoring.
New child runs back to my son and tries to kick him. I told him not to.
Mum ends up leaving in a huff after he picked yet another fight and got pushed over as a result.
They never came back.
My youngest has been known to be a bit bullish about toys and sharing, as a result I watch him like a hawk and on the one occasion I didn't stop him in time, I was profuse in my apologies. If he'd drawn blood then we'd stop attending.

I've spoken to my friend and apparently the incident is being taken pretty seriously by the group facilitators considering it's not the first time the boy has hurt a baby apparently
They want me to take photos of any marks on my DD and send them!

If you've seen the mum at other groups locally the chances are you guys will cross paths again and that will be the acid test as to whether she apologises.

If my DD did that and I didn't get the chance to apologise to the parents I'd be combing the borough to say sorry.

Looks like she's going to get a ban, so you won't have to worry about it happening again.

Op you have absolutely no idea how tough it might be for the mum snd how awful she felt so why dont you assume she was mortified and forget about it

I couldn't have just left with out checking the kids were ok and apologising. Embarrassed or not that isn't really on.

She could have kept a grip of her child after the incident and hung on a few minutes. I know they are feisty at that age but you can keep hold of their hand for a few minutes and stop them causing trouble.

Well in that case she's really in the wrong. To slink off like that when two children were hurt is pretty off. I hope it's at least taught her to supervise him and start working on his aggressive ways.

I think she was embarrassed and kept quickly, not surprisingly.

She should have apologised. That would have been the decent thing to do, embarrassed or not.

Saying that, she should have been watching her child more closely if he has form for this kind of thing.

So yeah, all in all, she handled it badly!

sounds like my 2.5 year old ASD toddler and something she would do. except i dont leave her side so it doesnt get to that point because I know she can be like that.

She shouldn't have left without checking to see it the baby was alright. No sane mum would. Are you sure she's a mum and not a nanny/childminder who might get into trouble if the parents found out?