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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is cheeky.

46 replies

PoppinsMoppins · 21/06/2017 10:00

My teenage niece does a cleaning job for one of my neighbours, and said neighbour has asked her if she would be interested in babysitting for her as well.

She then said "you could do the cleaning when the kids are asleep, saves you coming over twice"

I think they are two separate things and should be paid separately, and that my neigbour is trying to save herself some cash by taking advantage of a shy teen. My niece wants to say something but isn't really assertive enough to stand her ground.

Is this a normal thing? Or is she being cheeky?

OP posts:

Allthebestnamesareused · 21/06/2017 12:42

Yes IHeartDodo - your cleaning figures are definitely out of date. My cleaner alone is £13 per hour.

Also OP I assume if the children are sleeping she is not going to expect any hoovering to be done!

requestingsunshine · 21/06/2017 12:49

Could you pop round to your neighbour on your neices behalf and say something like, 'sorry, niece is a bit shy to ask but can you just confirm you will be paying her both the babysitting and the cleaning'

PaulDacresFeministConscience · 21/06/2017 12:56

Call her bluff and operate on the assumption that she will pay for both. Then if she had been planning to only pay one rate, it will put her on the back foot and leave her to have a think about whether she wants to explain why she wants to try and underpay your niece.

Get your niece to text her:

That's great. My babysitting rate is £x per hour. My cleaning rate is £y per hour. I'm happy to clean whilst the kids are asleep - if you want to go ahead on that basis my combined babysitting and cleaning charge is £z per hour. Let me know what hours you want.

Joinourclub · 21/06/2017 13:01

It might suit your niece to say 'cleaning is X, babysitting is Y, but if you wish me to do both at the same time I can do it for X+Y - 10%.

DistanceCall · 21/06/2017 13:09

This. But ask for the money in advance. Otherwise you risk being paid less because "oh, I'm sure the kids didn't bother you at all" and similar shit.

pottered · 21/06/2017 13:17

I'd approach this from a lack of comprehension angle - I'm assuming that the person just wants to be efficient with trips to the house and so state the rates to avoid confusion - 'so that'll be x for babysitting and then + y for cleaning'.

If the kids are asleep, I don't see why you can't clean at that time, although I agree they are 2 separate jobs.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 21/06/2017 13:20

And hoovering/cleaning the kids rooms would presumably not be able to be done. Your niece just needs to clarify what is going to be expected of her and how much they are offering to pay. She can always say no if she feels it's too much.

AnnetteCurtains · 21/06/2017 13:21

I'd keep them separate to avoid any confusion

MrsKoala · 21/06/2017 13:26

I'd just keep them separate and say 'i'm happy to do 2 trips. I like to eat pizza and watch tv in the evening when i babysit' then smile a great big smile of obliviousness.

Shelby2010 · 21/06/2017 13:29

I would advise your niece to say 'no'. She can't clean while the kids are awake & she would rather use the time when they are asleep to study. Or if she isn't a student, that she is too tired in the evening to clean efficiently & she would worry about disturbing the children or not hearing them if hoovering.

IHeartDodo · 21/06/2017 14:33

Allthebestnamesareused (like the name)
Yes I'm sure lol, I used to get £15/hr as a cleaner (age 16) but £5/hr as a babysitter so no idea what's appropriate now!

Original poster

PoppinsMoppins · 21/06/2017 15:07

Thank all. I know the neighbour pretty well and she is the type to try to pull a fast one.

Niece doesn't know what to say. So I am going to drop it in to conversation, something like this " x has said she is going to be doing babysitting for you too, can I ask how much you pay per hour as I'm not sure what the going rate is, thinking of hiring her as well!"

That should get to the bottom of it.

OP posts:

MrsKoala · 21/06/2017 15:24

It probably wont get to the bottom of it if she is planning on combining the tasks. If you say 'what are the going rates' she will just say £10 (or whatever) or what it is for babysitting and not expect to pay any more for cleaning, but expect it to be done.

Also you are asking her to say what she wants to pay, rather than the niece setting her own rate. What does she want to be paid is more relevant.

I was totally exploited by wankers when i was a teen. I was too shy to say what i should have been paid and let them get away with paying buttons and coming home hours later than agreed etc. One lady i babysat for left the kitchen a right mess so as a favour i cleaned up - she never acknowledged it as not being my job. The following week it was worse so i thought bollocks and sat and watched the tv. When she came home she had a go at me for not cleaning, as i'd done it the week before she now expected it.

Another used to have me stay the night and come in at 4-5am and drive me home at about 11am. She'd pick me up at 6pm and i'd watch the kids and feed them while she got ready. She gave me £15 for this and one night the kids had been more difficult than usual and i'd not got to bed till midnight and hadn't had a chance to wash up. She dragged me out of bed screaming that i'd left the kitchen in a state and forced me downstairs to wash up while she smoked and ranted at how ungrateful i was as she'd bought me a microwave lasagne. I was crying and apologising. I was only 15.

Another used to pay me £3 per hour and say it was going to be 2 hours and leave 6 pound coins out. They'd waltz in 3-4 hours later and conveniently just not mention it. If i asked for more they would huff and puff and say they'd owe it to me and then 'forget'.

All these people were friends of my parents. When i think now as an adult i just think, what fucking wankers!

Chloe84 · 21/06/2017 19:34

That's awful MrsKoala. I hope you never went back to some of these people?

nina2b · 21/06/2017 19:46

It is very mean. Horrible woman to even think of such a thing.

MrsKoala · 21/06/2017 21:09

Unfortunately Chloe i did. It's really hard as a teenager to have the confidence to stand up to adults you think must be right (it wasn't till i became a parent i looked back and thought wtf? about lots of interactions i had as a teen).

One person had kids and i needed some cash so i asked mum to mention to them i was available and experienced. They said great. I looked after the kids then at the end of the night they said thanks and ushered me out without any mention of payment. I told Mum and she mentioned it to them and they seemed shocked, they had assumed i just loved spending time with their kids. The Mum said to my Mum 'why would i pay anyone to look after them when my own Mum lives near and will do it for free. We thought we were doing teen koala a favour as she offered'. Yeah, because 16 year olds are notorious for giving up their Saturday nights to look after children for free. Mum gave me a tenner from her purse and said don't offer again.

Some people think their kids are so great and easy they think they are doing you a favour by letting you babysit. Which is probably the way this lady will see it. They will be in bed so what difference will it make if you are cleaning anyway? type thing.

expatinscotland · 22/06/2017 18:50

You have to front people like this. Don't be afraid to, either, because it's not rude to do so and it is the only way to deal with people like this because they don't care about anyone but themselves and their purse.

'Niece doesn't know what to say. '

Doesn't have to, just text or message. 'Thanks, but I prefer to focus on cleaning. Afraid I cannot offer babysitting services as well because I use evenings to focus on my schoolwork.' Or say that. Over and over and over.

There's no way to 'get to the bottom of it' or sniff her out or any of that shit with people like this because they will always try to take the piss.

expatinscotland · 22/06/2017 18:55

'All these people were friends of my parents. '

Did you tell them about the ranty bitch who pulled you out of bed? Because she wouldn't be my friend after she did that to my daughter.

MrsKoala · 22/06/2017 20:29

Yes i did, mum said her response was ott, but i should have cleared up and that she was going thru a tough divorce and if i didn't babysit again she wouldn't be able to see her boyfriend anymore, so asked me as a favour to just forget it.

expatinscotland · 22/06/2017 20:45

Wow! Some support she was.

PlaymobilPirate · 22/06/2017 20:58

Just tell her to text 'Hi- I'd rather come twice if that's Ok? Then it's less confusing sorting cash etc'

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