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AIBU?

Child maintenance and passports

39 replies

Runlovingmummy81 · 21/06/2017 07:43

Not really a AIBU but not sure where to post....

If you receive (the bare minimum) child maintenance through the cms who should be expected to pay for 2dcs first passports?

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Runlovingmummy81 · 21/06/2017 09:47

That's awful. You should get to see your children. I wanted to sort things amicably but he didn't. He took me through court on finances and kids.

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Traveller123 · 21/06/2017 09:58

To Runlovingmummy81. Difficulty I have is that I work overseas and unable to commit to specific dates which is what would be needed for a Contact Order to be put in place. Plus I don't want to give any more money to courts.

I keep contact with son via Whatsapp, but would prefer to use Skype. However, ex-wife stops son from using Skype. Guess I will have to wait until he is older and makes his own decisions.

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Runlovingmummy81 · 21/06/2017 10:16

Whilst it must be difficult to have a specific order in place she should be flexible for you to see him when you can.

You can video / call on what's app.

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Traveller123 · 21/06/2017 11:08

To Runlovingmummy81. Tried that on Whatsapp and call Son's mobile direct. Never answered. Think he is afraid in case he is overheard? Last time I went to their new house police were called on alleged harassment. As I did not have a Contact Order Police were unable to help.

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Runlovingmummy81 · 21/06/2017 11:31

Kids should never be used as weapons. It's not fair on them.

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Traveller123 · 22/06/2017 03:12

To mummy81. The child was never been given priority during the proceedings. Even judge did not ask what arrangements had been made for the child.

Sadly ex-wife turned the divorce into a contest much to the delight of the legal people. About a third of families wealth went on court costs.

I

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Runlovingmummy81 · 23/06/2017 07:58

Sounds similar. My ex did the same. It was all about winning. He didn't want kids but he didn't want me to have them either. Very selfish. Never puts the first. :(

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Traveller123 · 23/06/2017 10:11

That's why in my case so much money was spent on Legal. Jumped from one solicitor to another because not hearing what they wanted. No mention of child arrangements

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Runlovingmummy81 · 23/06/2017 13:42

Just ridiculous. I try and leave him to his nonsense now. I'm better off without him.

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Traveller123 · 01/07/2017 09:58

I have seen son once this week which was good. He seems happy and had good play with his old friends where he used to live. The divorce does not seem to have affected him which is most important thing.

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LDN17 · 01/07/2017 10:07

Keep the passports at your place as you paid for them. It's petty, I know but it sounds as if he is no stranger to games

Yes great idea punishing the children.

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Traveller123 · 01/07/2017 10:24

My ex wife has our sons passport well guarded. Her logic is that she can't afford to take him on holidays so why should I be alllowed because I earn more. Nasty or what 😩

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RainbowsAndUnicorn · 01/07/2017 10:24

If you needed them first you should pay.

£400 for two children is a good amount, if you match it for your share plus any child benefit/tax credits etc it's more than ample to cover food, clothes and hobbies.

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Traveller123 · 01/07/2017 10:51

I pay £750 per month for one child and the more I read this website the more convinced I become that it is high.