WIBU to throw out this bike

[Stopyourhavering]

We're currently having garden tidied up/ new fencing put up.in order to do this it has been necessary to pull down the wreck of a wooden garage that no car ever fitted in and was really a junk heap
One of items in shed was my dh fathers bike....fil sadly died 6 yrs ago and he had handed over this bike to dh several years before .
Dh has never used said bike nor has he acknowledged its presence in shed until it was unearthed as garage being demolished
We have a skip which everything is going in but my husband cannot face throwing bike in skip....it's full of rust/ gears are wrecked....could not be salvaged nor recycled in my eyes.
I know he is attached to this bike because of the connections with his father but we have nowhere to store it and he has other mementoes in house to remember his df by.....should I put it in skip? ( he hasn't said I can't , only that he couldn't physically/emotionally do it?!)

YABU merely because "I know he is attached to this bike"

You need to leave WELL alone.

You could talk about mounting it on a wall in the garen or grow flowers around it.

You sound horrible op

She's not being horrible, sounds to me like she knows her husband thinks it should be binned but can't face it. If she was horrible she'd have gone fuck you I'm binning your bike.

Which is what her aibu is about- should i put ut in the skip?

Why not just ask him what she should do with it?

Ywbu. Leave it alone. It isn't yours.

Leave it in the garden leaning against a wall. He'll get rid of it when he is ready.

Ask him if he would like you to deal with it then drive it to the tip? Put it in the loft? Btw I don't think you are being horrible, imagine if there were 50 bikes, or he wanted to keep all his df;s belongings. Where would you draw the line?

Hey dh, i know you are emotionally attached to that bike. As i love you and dont want to upset you, can you clarify if its ok to skip the bike or not as i am unsure?

Try that instead

If he's simply saying he can't do it, then it sounds like he's sort of asking you to do it for him.

If he hasn't been spending the odd day over the past 6 years lovingly stroking the rust heap and remembering his father then I'd probably throw it. If it's something he could get a lot out of keeping then are there ways to incorporate it into the garden as a form of art? Take it to pieces and arrange it on the fence or incorporate into a path or patio, create a fire pit out of it, etc.? Spray paint it with hammerite and use it as a plant stand? Don't ask him this question! Think about it yourself first - would that aesthetic suit you both? Can you actually do it or is the bike too far gone/you don't have the money to/none of these ideas or any others you have would work/etc. If you can see ways to do it and you want to, then suggest them. But my first thought is that he just doesn't want to do the chucking and you can be kind to him by doing it for him.

Stay away from it. It's not yours to deal with. If DH wants to keep it, he can keep it. If he decides he's ready to get rid of it he can do that too but at his own pace.

Sure, throw it out op... just so long as when your parents pass away, you're prepared for your DH to junk their possessions too.

Grief doesn't have an expiry date, and it may be that unearthing this bike has brought your dh's grief back to the surface. Let him deal with it, and support him. It's a bike. It will go in the car to go to the tip of and when he's ready.

Thanks for all the input
btw we have both lost both sets of parents so I know how this is affecting him.....( I had to dispose of all my mums stuff and kept some jewellery and 1 piece of furniture, likewise when his mum died he kept her jewellery and some small pieces of sentimental value )
however we only have a finite space to keep everything and have 3 dcs with all their belongings!....he has his fathers collection of microscopes ( which are of more personal significance) and artwork so I'm not being an unsympathetic bitch regarding this bike.....it's not as if they used to go on cycle trips together
I will discuss whether we could maybe incorporate some of the bike into the garden makeover.... to scare the crows away maybe!

Some form of sculpture or installation with flowers or vegetables growing through it? Hang on a fence or wall and have a climber or trailing plants growing through and/or over it? Could be something evergreen perhaps for all year round colour. Pinterest has some ideas. I would not throw it away. Wait until he is ready to throw out the bike himself. If it is outside in our capricious climate, it won't last forever!!

maybe ask you DH what he thinks his Dad would have liked him to do with it? As others have said, a new chain, gears, tyres etc and it could be useable. If he's unlikely to ride it, is there a local charity that does up bikes that he could donate it to?

One of my neighbours has used his dad's old bike as a frame from which to grow flowers. Looks fantastic.

... or something like this: www.halfords.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_storeId_10001_catalogId_14552_productId_1035917_langId_-1_categoryId_null

Lots on creative and incentive things you could do with it to keep it around as a nice memory. Would probably be a really nice and appreciated surprised for him

I failed .....I love the recycling idea....fil would definitely have approved of that idea ...will show this to dh thank you

Love the idea go grown flowers around it particularly mounted on a wall with creepers running through it maybe, great idea! Do that OP and show us pics!