To tell a colleague that their breath smells so bad I feel sick?

[dirtywindows]

Just that really. Working very closely so sitting near and talking together. I offered him water but he refused. Has a break mid morning and I offered him tea which he also refused. At lunch he didn't eat anything declaring he only ever eats one meal in the evenings. I honestly could barely concentrate and kept trying to think of how I could tactfully say - for gods sake eat something or brush your teeth because you stink and I'm going to be sick! Managed to get through the day. I don't often work with him but next time WIBU to say something? And if not then how would you say it? Or should I just carry mints to give him?

And to make it worse - he really likes to talk a lot!

Must be even worse in this heat...

Yeah, the talking is probably making things worse too. The little saliva he does have is being used up!
I remember teachers from my childhood having breath like poo~ all that yacking and coffee!

You say it's a voluntary job but is there no one in charge you can have a quiet word with? In a charity shop a volunteer had bad BO and the paid manager had a brief meeting with everyone about good bodily hygiene and wearing fresh tee shirts.

There is nothing mean or spiteful about what the OP is saying. Why should she have to tolerate the repugnant stench of someone's foul breath? He either has appalling oral health, or it IS because he doesn't eat all day, or he has tonsil stones.

Either way he needs telling.

I used to work with someone, (luckily he never came near me often!) whose breath smelt like a rancid refuse wagon in 100 degrees fahrenheit heat. If he sat 10 feet away from me, I could smell his disgusting breath. He had a girlfriend too. How the fuck she put up with dustbin breath just baffled me! She must have had no sense of smell.

How can anyone kiss someone with such vile, putrid breath? I wouldn't go within 6 feet of someone like that.

He needs to be told OP. By someone. Get advice from HR.

How the fuck do people not know their breath stinks?

Does he have a mentor? Or a regular 1-2-1 with a manager?

oh you poor thing

I think even if voluntary, you should tell HR. No one should have to deal with this.

If your own breath smells bad can you smell it yourself? Every time I smell my breath it just smells like nothing really (apart from when I've just eaten something strong like garlic or something minty etc obviously) I really don't know how people can walk round with such bad breath and sometimes I'm worried that mine is bad but i just can't smell it on myself! Someone I work with their breath smells like shit, like actual human shit

I'm not sure if there is an HR. We're magistrates and there's at least 200 of us based at this court so I'm hoping that I just won't be allocated to sit with him much!

Tonsil stones, rotten teeth, lung, mouth and throat cancer. All possible causes of bad breath.

Tonsil stones. I can taste them when I get them so no danger of having bad breath because I whip them out!

Yes to tonsil stones! My Ds had them and his breath was dis.gust.ing! But how to tell him...I've no idea. I've told a past colleague they needed to use better deoderant but not had to deal with bad breath other than Ds and I felt I could be harsh direct with him.

Difficult to tell someone but may be kinder in the long run.

Constipation can cause bad breath. Given the lack of food and liquid his bowels can't be running on time.

Ok so next time I'm sitting with him I'm going to tell him as discreetly and tactfully as I can - she says hoping someone else will do it first!

Not eating could mean he is ketotic, but that usually creates an acetone/ pear drops smell rather than a rotten smell.

Have some mints with you tomorrow. When he starts talking, visibly recoil and say "Eeuw! Have you been eating garlic? You don't usually have bad breath, but today it smells really strong. Would you like a mint, until you have the chance to clean your teeth?"

I wouldn't make something up. Just offer a mint and if he refuses say 'please take a mint. I don't want to embarrass you but your breath is quite bad'.

He needs to know there is a problem or he will have a mint one day and then not do anything about it. He'll think you're some weird mint freak.

I hope someone would tell me if my breath was rank - sometimes I can taste my own breath and I'll either have a mint or ask a friend as I don't trust the 'lick your wrist' type tests!

I once had a rotten tooth and was unaware that my breath stank because nobody told me! I didn't know about the tooth for months until I started to get pain with hot/cold drinks. Since that happened to me, I've never held back from telling someone if they may have a dental problem like mine.

Lung, mouth & threat cancer? I get what your saying but maybe, just maybe it's gum disease?! It is gum disease. He doesn't floss, and food decays in between the teeth and rots. Smells like a rotting corpse. Mmm lovely. It's either gum disease or tonsil stones.
You aren't aware that your breath smells when you have gum disease, because your senses become immune to it because you've had it for so long. He needs to floss every night and use corsodyl mouthwash for around 2 months. Then keep up the flossing after to keep it at bay.
Ask him if he flosses. N then just tell his ass!

There's a possibility that he's unaware of how his breath actually smells, in which case I think the kindest thing you can do is to notify him of it. I would focus more on the health portion of it though, instead of how the smell affects you and others around him. Maybe something along the lines of "your breath smells a little different these days. Someone I know had X and it smelt similar, so perhaps you might want to get it checked out?" At least that's what I'd be okay hearing if it were me.

I'd say something like "I'm sorry, I know this is going to sound terribly rude but I'm extremely sensitive to smells. Would you mind having a drink or I have mints in my bag if you'd like? How was your weekend?"

Otherwise YOU could eat something like a mint that will override the smell/taste

Gosh what an awkward situation. I couldn't tolerate that but like you, wouldn't know what to say!

Disgusting. I feel for you. And him.

I would tell him. There's no reason you should have to put up with it. There are kind ways of saying it which get the job done but won't offend (hopefully). Some good suggestions upthread.

Re tonsil stones - my DH suffers from them. They do indeed smell like actual shit. It is vile.

OP,

Whatever you do end up saying to him, I think it's initially best done quietly and in private.

Defences will go straight up, if he feels publicly humiliated and the object of group discussions.
(And apparently can even lead to bullying accusations).

You'd also feel guilty, if it then transpired he is battling a serious medical condition and genuinely unaware of the toxic breath.

Or possibly medication for something is itself compounding an existing problem: e.g. severe nausea side-effects preventing him from daring to eat/ drink at work...dehydration...biochemical change.
Though, of course, the responsibility would lie with him to flag that up and get assistance from his Dr...certainly not much comfort to you on the receiving end, being made to feel physically ill too.
[PP mentioned the old nurses' trick of dabbing Vicks in each of your nostrils: can confirm that does help (assuming you like its smell?!)]

If, after your conversation, he doesn't then take on board how unpleasant it is for you all, or refuses to up his efforts to tackle (or at least mask) the problem straightaway, then you've got no other option but to ask someone senior to deal with it.

It's pretty unlikely, but he could also just be one of those selfish eejits who is only too aware his personal hygiene's disastrous, yet simply doesn't give a toss about anyone else's wellbeing enough to improve.
You'll find out either way, once you have a word.

Good luck; it's really awkward for all concerned, isn't it?