Truly interested in your opinions here.
Following on from emkana's 'perfect' thread, I have a friend who is currently driving me up the wall, and I would love to not have to see her or her dd anymore, but I feel very guilty about it.
We were pg together and our children went to the same playgroup. She's lovely, we get on very well as adults, but when it comes to our dcs, well...
Basically, she has a 'child genius' daughter. Now, I know we all think our dcs are the best, but she shoves it down my throat the whole time. This kid is 3 months older than ds (2.1) and yes, is very advanced - can speak 'proper' sentences, draws circles, squares and triangles, knows all the letters of the alphabet and their phonic sounds as well, can count to twenty...
I don't think I'd mind any of this if she was a nice child, but she isn't and, tbh never really has been - we visited this week and she spent the entire time taking toys off ds and slapping, pushing and shoving him away, then screaming for her mother if she didn't get her way. She has no social skills whatsoever. She also slammed ds's hand in the door (okay, I'm sure that wasn't on purpose but she wouldn't open the door either while ds was screaming so I'm sure you can see why I'm a bit biased!).
They don't have stairgates or door stops in their house as dd is 'beyond all that' but ds isn't and I was constantly on edge after that.
My friend's reaction to this behaviour was to say 'well, they don't really play together at that age, do they?' and not once telling her off for hitting and shoving except in a very laid-back, 'now then, dd, we don't do that, do we' from her sofa across the room. I really felt like showing her how my ds and his other friends play, they totally interact and have a great giggly time playing chase, tea parties etc.
I think I could probably forgive all of this if it weren't for the constant parading of her dd's brains - the child was shoved in front of me and asked 'what was the name of the special doctor that nanna had to go and see, dd?' to which she replied 'podiatrist' and my friend beamed at me as if to say 'look! Isn't she fabulous!' to which I was very tempted to reply 'wow, she can parrot well, can't she?' DD was also prevailed upon to tell me the alphabet, draw me a circle and sing me a song.
As ds is entirely normal with no outstanding characteristics whatsoever (barely says a word, draws like a scribbling loon, is convinced that pigs are sheep) except a very sunny personality, I was left feeling a bit inferior. I made a jokey comment about his not being up to her levels and she said 'well, we can't all be intelligent, can we?'
Also - and I'd love to know what you think of this - she made lunch and it was pasta with rocket, black olives and some kind of italian ham (the stuff that looks raw). No sauce. Huge bowlfuls of this were plonked down in front of the dcs. Ds is fussy with his food at the best of times and this just puzzled him - he started playing with it. Of course, dd ate it all up whilst my friend beamed at her 'of course dd has a refined palate, we took her to Umbria a few months back and she adored the antipasto there' - is this just so much middle-class twattage or what?? (perhaps I'm , I don't know...)
So of course ds was hungry (no other food was offered) and got a bit agitated. I said I'd better take him home and friend got really distressed, 'oh, no, do you have to go?' and I felt really bad.
I think she's probably lonely and possibly a bit insecure - her dp's job has moved and she doesn't really know anyone in the area, there aren't a lot of other children around in the tiny village they live in.
My friend is a sahm, her dd has never been away from her, they've moved quite a long way (50min car journey) away and I don't think her dd has been to playgroups etc since then as there aren't any in the area.
She has actually said to me that she isn't going to send dd to pre-school as she can't bear to let go...
So I feel awful about even thinking about cutting her off as a friend, but I also felt incredibly aggrieved that I'd driven for 50mins to be patronised, have ds pushed about and ignored and then get fed some godawful dinner party food that no normal child would eat!
So, I like her, but I hate her attitude to her dd and I'm beginning to heartily dislike her dd into the bargain - for which i feel even more guilty as she's only a child...
What would you do?