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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I am not the bad guy here?

18 replies

MrsExpo · 20/06/2017 20:10

We live in a close of 5 houses. Family opposite have 2 DS aged 10ish and 8ish. Both are footy mad and use the road/grass verges of the close as a football pitch almost constantly. This drives us crackers and I know the other neighbours feel the same. In addition to the noise of them playing, they are gradually trashing the grass, trees and shrubs which grow in the close. This is jointly owned property. (I've posted about this before). Yesterday I went out and collected 9 footballs (yes, really), two large sticks being used as goal posts, a scooter, a pair of gloves, two fruit shoot bottles, a pair or sun glasses and a baseball hat which had been left littering the area. I then made some attempt to collect up all the broken leaves and branches, tidied up some trashed shrubs as best I could and thought about re-seeding the bare patches on the grass. These kids have absolutely no respect for the property!!

Today as I was going out, the mother was washing her car on the front drive, so I went over and had a quiet word. It was an amicable exchange during which she agreed the boys leaving their stuff everywhere and damaging the plants/trees has got to an unacceptable level and she would have words to tell them to stop damaging and tidy away all their stuff. We parted friend's .... all smiles etc.

This evening I mentioned the conversation to DH and he said he'd heard the neighbour telling the boys off for their behaviour and said "that explains it then ..." ... and is now being off with me....So suddenly I'm public enemy number 1 for saying something which resulted in the kids getting told off, when he's been as vocal as me about the mess/damage over the last few weeks.

Sometimes you just can't win. Sorry for the long rant ...

OP posts:
HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 20/06/2017 20:15

Who owns the land the land the boys are playing on?

Kids will play out on green if they can, however I don't think they should be damaging anything on it, however I also think yabu to expect kids not to play ball games.

BlahBlahBlahEtc · 20/06/2017 20:17

I can't see why there's a problem here? Why is he making an issue out of this?Confused

PaperdollCartoon · 20/06/2017 20:18

It literally says in her post that it's jointly owned land.

You're not in the wrong if they're damaging the plants. Don't they have a garden?

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 20/06/2017 20:19

Yes I see that, but jointly owned by who?

AnnetteCurtains · 20/06/2017 20:21

Bollocks , you've done nothing wrong
If I were your other neighbour I'd be getting you a bottle of wine to thank you

BlahBlahBlahEtc · 20/06/2017 20:22

I think the problem here is with the husband not the kids. She sorted the kids issue politely and it was taken well by the neighbour. It's the ops husband that has the problem.

SeagullsStoleMyChurro · 20/06/2017 20:22

So it's your DH that is being off with you? Why on earth?

RainbowJack · 20/06/2017 20:25

Your H's reaction to other peoples kids is bizarre.

He's upset they were told off. WTAF Confused

Beeziekn33ze · 20/06/2017 20:32

I can't see that you're the bad guy in any way! A pity you mentioned your tidying up to DH.Perhaps your neighbour was being a bit harsh with her DC Do other children play in the close or was the mess all due to the two boys?

missymayhemsmum · 20/06/2017 20:40

I'm guessing your DH was either a 10 year old footballer who used to get a tonguelashing? Either that or he would never ever complain to the neighbours ever for fear of embarrassment or reprisals. YANBU, they are old enough to take themselves and their football off to the park.

MrsExpo · 20/06/2017 20:43

Thanks for the replies. To clarify, the land is jointly owned by 5 properties. I'm ok with them playing, riding bikes etc, at least it's fairly safe with no through traffic ... it's the damage and the amount of stuff - footballs junking the place etc - that results that we're all fed up with. As I said the mother was totally ok with me having a polite chat ... it was the resulting telling off of the boys which my DH has taken exception to. Just can't win apparently ..... Sad

OP posts:
MrsExpo · 20/06/2017 20:44

Sorry ... just to add, they're the only youngsters in the close.

OP posts:
HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 20/06/2017 20:47

If it's owned jointly you could buy some signs saying no ball games/littering however you would need to go to the council for planning permission for this.

rollonthesummer · 20/06/2017 20:47

They are not his boys, are they?

I don't understand why he is cross-can you explain?

SeagullsStoleMyChurro · 20/06/2017 20:48

This is bizarre, why on earth has your DH taken exception? His loyalty should lie with you, not some random children.

MiddleClassProblem · 20/06/2017 21:00

Very odd that he's mardy at you when the mother is fine.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 20/06/2017 21:17

What?! Why on earth is your DH so invested in these children being told off Confused. Makes no sense at all.

ChasedByBees · 20/06/2017 21:23

I also don't get why your DH would be cross.

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