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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is probably more my fault (or just one of those things) than the school's?

19 replies

Thurlow · 20/06/2017 18:18

Or is other parent right that it's the school's fault?

YR DD went on her first school trip today, a whole day affair. I chose for her to have a school packed lunch but put a few snacks in her bag as well - fruit and veg and a snack bar.

DD knew she was having a school packed lunch as she told me all about how she'd chosen a ham sandwich. However this morning she got confused and told the teacher she had a packed lunch, so they didn't give her a school one. So she had no lunch. Well, she had quite a few snacks and the teacher (embarrassingly) gave her a biscuit too.

I think it's probably more my fault for confusing the issue by giving her snacks. Other parent I chatted to on the way home thinks it's clearly the school's fault and they should have given her her lunch or took spares, because the kids are so young.

Is this just one of those things? She didn't starve and had a lovely day.

OP posts:

Lichfield · 20/06/2017 18:19

Ehhh a bit of both- I always check YR lunch boxes on trips because they are never entirely sure whether have lunch or not.

BeaderBird · 20/06/2017 18:20

It's nobody's fault. Your DD answered a question and it misled the teacher - not a lot of harm done.

GreenHillsOfHome · 20/06/2017 18:29

It's the schools/teachers fault. Your DD is what? 4 or 5?

The school shouldn't be deciding whether to provide a packed lunch on the say so of the child, they should already have a list of who is having one...on our trips, you have to tick whether you provide lunch or they're entitled to a free one on the consent form.

I'd mention it to the teacher so they're aware for the future.

TheForgetfulCat · 20/06/2017 18:36

I once completely forgot that DS class were going on a trip and hence his packed lunch. I was mortified, he was perfectly happy having lunched on the TAs secret supply of chocolate biscuits that she kept for such eventualities

No harm in gently mentioning that keeping a list might be clever with four year olds. However, your initial reaction of 'she didn't starve and had a lovely day', is a really balanced and sensible one. Much better to take things in this spirit and keep your powder dry with the teachers for the day you need to raise a really important issue.

Nonibaloni · 20/06/2017 18:44

This happened to my ds on his first ever full day of school! I was led to believe that he would be starving and confused by a snack (I was pfb overthinking) so sent him off with a slice of bread and cheese spread for playtime.

The very earnest helpful classroom assistant thought it was his lunch even though he was down for school dinners.

In her defence he is like a whippet (but eats like an adult) and has a million disability requirements so perfectly likely some would be food.

He was starving and thought it was hilarious. I agreed and we went to pizza express to full him back up.

He has a great routine now of being very clear () about what is lunch and what is his snack.

Original poster

Thurlow · 20/06/2017 18:53

I've since found out she isn't the only one this happened to.

I'm not going to make a fuss about it, but I am thinking that maybe they should have stuck with the list rather than what a 4yo said.

OP posts:

Acdmad · 20/06/2017 18:53

I think it is the school's fault.

I have a son who is in reception and we have to fill in a consent form for school trips. On that form is a box to tick whether your child will be having a school packed lunch or not. Then on the day of the trip all packed lunches are in plastic/paper bags labelled with the child's name (either by the teacher or parent depending on who is providing the lunch) and counted to check there are 30. Wasn't there a spare school packed lunch or did the teacher not take your DD's supplied lunch based on what she said? If that was the case then the teacher was in the wrong. I would have expected to be asked by the teacher to confirm that the agreed school lunch was no longer required or for them to take it anyway.

Obviously no harm was done to your DD and mistakes are made especially when dealing with very excited children. I bet the teacher will double check in future but maybe the school needs to change how they do lunches for trips to prevent it happening again.

Lichfield · 20/06/2017 18:58

Then on the day of the trip all packed lunches are in plastic/paper bags labelled with the child's name (either by the teacher or parent depending on who is providing the lunch) and counted to check there are 30.

I'd put money on the teacher counting lunch boxes without realising that the OP's DD only had her snack.

OP I'd imagine that the school are aware of the issue now and unless they are evil dictators, will take it on board.

UsernameInvalid66 · 20/06/2017 18:58

YANBU not to make a fuss about it although it would probably have been sensible for the teacher to check the list. I think people complain to schools far too readily and your approach is refreshing. You could mention it, but wording it as an enquiry rather than going in with all guns blazing, which you don't sound as if you're about to to.

Original poster

Thurlow · 20/06/2017 19:00

Yes, I suspect from what I can make out from DD that they tried to hand her her lunch, she said she had a lunch, so they didn't check and took her word.

If it was just DD I would have taken it as a cock up, but as it was a few kids that sounds more like a bigger mistake

OP posts:

Lichfield · 20/06/2017 19:03

Tis why old hands like myself demand to see the lunch. It invariably turns out to be Haribo

I wouldn't have liked to run a trip this morning in the heat.

Original poster

Thurlow · 20/06/2017 19:07

No, me neither!

DD had a piece of pepper, a piece of cucumber, an apple and a packet of Go Ahead biscuits.

I'm slightly narked simply by looking like a rubbish parent

OP posts:

Lichfield · 20/06/2017 19:12

Oh no, you provided fruit and not a family bag of Haribos, you're winning

Original poster

Thurlow · 20/06/2017 19:54

I dread to think what some kids get in their packed lunch. Including the competitively healthy lunches.

OP posts:

SisterMoonshine · 20/06/2017 20:02

A bit out there, I know - but maybe the teachers could have some sort of register or list.

Sirzy · 20/06/2017 20:07

Ds is year 2 but for every school trip so far we have had to send a form into school to say if they are having a school packed lunch and if so what sandwich they would like.

Jellymuffin · 20/06/2017 20:07

You would shocked at the amount of parents in KS1 that tick the box for the school to provide a packed lunch, then provide their own lunch from home (because, hey, they don't have to pay for the surplus lunch) and so many children who's parents don't tick for the school to provide a lunch and then don't send their child with anything! Last trip I ran of the 12 lunches ordered, 2 lunches went to children who ticked for them, a further 5 to children who hadn't ticked and the rest were just left spare.

Original poster

Thurlow · 20/06/2017 20:07

Sister, they did. The TA tried to hand DD her lunch and DD said she had food with her.

So I get why they then thought she'd bought a packed lunch. But I do now think a little that if this happened to a few kids maybe they should have checked.

OP posts:

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 20/06/2017 20:10

Definitely the schools fault because surely there's some kind of list, there certainly is at our school, along with the choice by name, precisely for this reason. Lucky you did send her with snacks!

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