feeling suicidal at 25 weeks pregnant

[namechangedtosaveface]

Hi everyone.
I am 25+4 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I have a loving, supportive fiancé who I am due to marry next week.
Although I suffer from mental health issues they are mostly under control and I have felt well the last year or so.

I am feeling very very low. My MIL is emotionally abusive and although I have gone NC with her she is still causing a lot of arguments by making up stories and accusing us of using her for money (we haven't ever exchanged money for anything!).
I feel like my DP should stand up to her but instead he begs and pleads with her to 'be nice and stop upsetting him.'

She either starts on his DB or him. His DB moved hundreds of miles away from her with his wife and baby and has very little contact due to similar issues.
She blows up on average once a week and causes stress, upset and arguments between my DP and I, as I feel he should stand up to her instead of giving her the power to continue being abusive.

After months of this I have sunk so low I to myself I can't see a way out. I can't see how anything will improve. I don't want this life. I don't want my baby to live on egg shells for fear of his mother causing arguments and attention seeking.

I can't cope

Talk to someone about. Talk to your DH about this. If possible leave him for a bit and go to your family. Give him a choice - you or his mum.

I just want him to have a good relationship with his mother independent of me.
I want to be a good wife and mother but I am so drained.

Please phone your midwife this afternoon namechange and speak honestly with her, pre natal depression in pregnancy is common, please please reach out, u are not alone and can get help and support to cope

That's his problem Op. Not yours. She's not your mum, and you can go NC if you want to. If he can't understand that then you need to leave the fool.

please phone your midwife and please be strong with your DP. You are no longer engaging or involving yourself in any way with this woman and its up to him to police that, please tell him how bad you're actually feeling so that he understands.

Gosh I really feel for you. I can only reiterate on what others have said. Contact your midwife or if that is not what you want to do seek help through Samaritans. You can arrange to go and talk to someone there if you prefer to talk to someone in person. I appreciate why you are feeling so desperate but reach out for help. You deserve it and so does your unborn child.

Good luck OP ... totally horrid for you... and important for you to know that it can get better...you can come through this and create a wonderful life for you and DC....

remember hun with mental health this is very much a symptom of it.not you.almost not your own feeling.its an illness reating to a very painful situation.you have said about your great fiancé.and the fact ur upset shows how you care and how sensitive and kind and thoughtful you are.
its a very horrible situation but it isn't you.and its isn't a reason ti die.you are worth so much more than that.you and ur fiancé and child.think of your future!
you have such a wider world to come.who know what will happen.
wat if a few weeks even years you move away.or you can breathe again and learn to be free from fears and thoughts of her.leaving/dying is permanent.it gives no chance for this to be fixed.it instantly cuts of any chance of a better life.and I know that it will be hard but I also know you can do it.others in the world have had similar,not the same but similar feelings.and they have been strong.foughthard.and won.and I just know you can too.your not alone
theseare thoughts not facts hun.they are a reaction.a reaction with someone who already struggles so see it as another symotom another cause and effect but not you hun.this isn't your destiny.
you are the mother to be.the kind thoughtful woman.the faince.th woman who can make plans and paly in the park and buy beautifu lclothes and go for walk in the park.and find new lands to explore ith her baby and family.
if your bil has done it you can too
your future can be so separate and far wider than her.
shes is causing terrible problems but you can step outside of that and be so much more.
seek help hun.seek us seek your midwife.
you can do this

How are u today namechanged? Do u hv any real life suppprt? Friends/family...

Please go and see your midwife. You need urgent help. Xx