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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think the doctor can't help with binge eating / weight loss a

40 replies

clearwaters · 20/06/2017 13:25

Sorry to post again. I'm not having a great day.

I hate dealing with medical professionals in any capacity: not sure why.

But I have been trying and failing to lose weight for two years now and it's just getting ridiculous. I'm at least 5 stone overweight.

I just can't seem to stop binge eating. It's gross and greedy but it's also one of the few things that brings me pleasure, only of course it doesn't.

So this morning I rang the doctor and it was no good as the receptionist wasn't very helpful but AIBU to think they probably can't do anything anyway and just keep trying to lose weight.

OP posts:

justilou · 20/06/2017 13:35

They can refer you to the right people to get the help you need - but only if you're completely honest and open about it.

Original poster

clearwaters · 20/06/2017 13:41

But who are the right people ?

OP posts:

Singlelady · 20/06/2017 13:44

The right people are a dietician to look at what your eating and come up with a realistic plan and support you in your journey and possible a Councillor or someone like that to find the route cause of your binge eating.

I was just you OP but a hell of a lot heavier until recently so I totally understand how hard it is

UndersecretaryofWhimsy · 20/06/2017 13:44

The people who treat and support eating disorders. Binge eating is a recognised disorder.

Definitely worth seeing a doctor.

FloatyCat · 20/06/2017 13:46

To be really blunt, no one can do it for you, you have to do it yourself. However certain organisations can focus you, give you eating plans, motivate you but the bottom line is you want to have to do it yourself.
If you have underlying mental health issues that contribute to this problem maybe you have to address those via your gp?

specialsubject · 20/06/2017 13:46

Psychiatric help of some sort - as you see I am no expert but this is a mental health issue, and the gp is the gateway to that.

Please make the appointment and tell the gp what you have said here. The best to you.

B1rdonawire · 20/06/2017 13:46

It has to be when you're in the right place to ask openly for help and be ready to hear the answer. It sounds like maybe you're there, as you said "only of course it doesn't" bring pleasure. I eat FAR more than my body needs. It's not precisely binging, but it's eating my feelings for sure. I have not solved this on my own despite sporadic good intentions.

I've been in denial for a long time, and have a partial defence that the past 3 years have included several traumatic events. However, last month I rang up and made an appointment to see the GP I trust in the practice - he's somewhat popular so my appointment is tomorrow (I waited 5 weeks because I know I will be honest with him). I have stepped on the scales today and I have 5 stone to lose. It was a shock, but I sort of knew. I also know my blood pressure and flexibility are going to go past the point of no return soon.

I'll be asking the GP to help me by giving me some accountability, having regular reviews of goals along the way, and helping me come up with some ideas I can implement at home (sole parent, disabled child, no childcare outside school hours, and I work during school hours). I know my GP also does a gym-referral or WW referral scheme - the former doesn't help me because of child caring responsibilities; I'll admit I'm not over-keen on the latter but I'm trying to be open-minded. The small steps I've taken while waiting for the GP appointment have been to start to find other ways to manage my feelings, so I'm the world's biggest beginner (in all senses!) at yoga. I am trying to follow Jessamyn Stanley online.

Do you have any thought about what might start to help you?

Wolfiefan · 20/06/2017 13:47

Agree with Under. No they can't wave a magic wand and make you "stick to a diet" but they can get you referred to the right people to get this eating disorder treated. That will enable you to change your diet (not go on a diet) and slowly lose weight.

DesignedForLife · 20/06/2017 13:47

Yes worth seeing a doctor as they can refer you to people to try and deal with the route of the issue, dietitian and counselling.

Binge eating is an eating disorder too.

Areyoufree · 20/06/2017 13:48

"I just can't seem to stop binge eating. It's gross and greedy..."

It's not gross or greedy - it's compulsive behaviour. I used to be exactly the same. I remember pacing the room, desperate for a packet of biscuits (not one, never one). Then eventually I would give in and buy a couple of packets, and have to restrain myself from opening them before I left the shop. I wouldn't even taste them until I was most of the way through the first packet. The compulsion is ludicrously strong - and it's nothing to do with self control or will power. I have neither of those! But I have been free from binge eating for some years now. You have to look at tackling the behaviour. What worked for me was to allow myself to binge, but on something that didn't spike my blood sugar. Eventually, my body learned that bingeing didn't give the 'high' it needed anymore. I have to keep my diet relatively low on sugar now, but it is pretty much under control.

Your GP might have details of support groups, but, to be honest, some kind of therapy/counseling would be better for compulsive behaviour. Unfortunately, mental health provision is almost existent in this country now.

Badcat666 · 20/06/2017 13:50

You need to make an appointment to see a doctor. You do not have to give a reason to the receptionist for seeing them unless you need an appointment the same day.

Write EVERYTHING down, including what you binge on and how often. Write down how it's making you feel. This will help you remember when you visit the doc. Be totally honest. Asked to be referred to the dietitian and they will be able to refer you to the right ppl.

It can take a while as some practices have visiting dieticians so you may have to wait a month to two but 1st step is seeing the doc so they can refer you.

Original poster

clearwaters · 20/06/2017 13:51

Yes, that's what it's like. It's so strong.

I look AWFUL. I mean - I know some women manage to look big and lovely and I don't. I look vast and like a toad. Clothes don't fit. I am embarrassed to see people (even though I know they don't care.)

It seems like it's been going on for so long now and I feel desperate. Really low. I've been having some really black thoughts and I only calmed myself down by planning my own death which sounds dramatic - I won't DO it - but somehow imagining it helps.

OP posts:

dnwig · 20/06/2017 13:52

Overeaters Anonymous?

happinessbythekilowatt · 20/06/2017 13:53

They really can help you. Had anorexia & occasionally binge ate and I was helped. They can refer you to eating disorder services - you will see psychiatrists, dieticians, receive therapy.

As well as this, you've got to want to get better. One day you'll wake up and think you don't want to live like this anymore, I promise you. It's so freeing when you've been living under the misery of an eating disorder. Look forward to this.

Take care

happinessbythekilowatt · 20/06/2017 13:54

As @Badcat666 says, it's that first step. Book a GP appointment and go from there.

Original poster

clearwaters · 20/06/2017 13:56

It's then being ready though. Maybe when you're ready you just are and you don't even need the doctor?

OP posts:

cantbelievemyeyes · 20/06/2017 14:17

Agree with previous posters- do make an appointment if you haven't already. There are various support services that offer help for binge eating disorder, and as they vary depending on where you are you'll need to see the doctor to find out more. Doctors can also recommend self-help/ CBT type programmes- Overcoming Binge Eating by Christopher Fairburn was recommended to me a lot and I found many of the techniques useful.

When it comes to being ready- meh, who knows what that means. I was several stones overweight for 15 years and sometimes thought I was ready, sometimes not. Accessing support through the GP did help me to eventually reduce my binge eating considerably and stabilise my weight for a couple of years. A year ago my weight was stable, but I was 9 stone overweight and really started to notice health issues building, which changed something in me. I've since lost 7 stone. Still 2-ish stone to go but I feel completely confident that I'm going to do it, and even if I don't lose another pound, I'd be OK with that. I do still occasionally binge, especially if I'm having a shitty time, but these days I can recover from that without giving myself such a hard time!

I think the help I've had, and the work I've put in over the years have helped me get to this point, even if I wasn't always 'ready' when I was reading the books, or talking to the psychologist etc. Give it a go- the alternative is not to, which won't change anything. Good luck

happinessbythekilowatt · 20/06/2017 14:39

With an eating disorder you do need professional help though, few people can do it on their own

Original poster

clearwaters · 20/06/2017 15:20

It doesn't feel like an ED; just feels like greed.

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 20/06/2017 15:34

Bingeing repeatedly and being unable to stop, even when you know how bad it is for you and how much weight it's making you gain, is an eating disorder. You need therapy ASAP.

rockshandy · 20/06/2017 15:37

OP I almost wrote a similar thread yesterday.

I have been big for years. But recently I have passed a point and its ridiculous now. I loathe myself and I seriously cannot stop eating my feelings. I too feel like its just greed but there is a logical part of me that knows its not. I actually eat a varied and healthy diet and my portions are not huge. But I keep gaining weight because of the binging. And its really only been recently that I have even acknowledged that I binge.

So I can't advise you as I am on the same journey. But you are not alone.

What worked for me was to allow myself to binge, but on something that didn't spike my blood sugar.

This really jumped out at me. What type of things could I replace my binge foods with?

Original poster

clearwaters · 20/06/2017 15:41

I'm not convinced therapy works for me - have had it before.

OP posts:

hamsterchump · 20/06/2017 15:45

I don't know about the gp but would think it couldn't hurt, but I found reading this website www.eatlikeanormalperson.com/ helped me get my eating under control quite a bit. It's just a series of articles of advice written by some woman, it's free and everything. I was just googling stuff like "naturally thin people" and "what do normal people eat?" and it came up, it just sort of helped me change my mindset a bit and stop letting food rule my life.

fleur34 · 20/06/2017 15:47

This may be a really lame suggestion but have you tried hypnosis? I lost quite a bit of weight with the paul mckenna 'i can make you thin' book/cd and the principles have stuck with me and I have never put the weight back on. I have recently downloaded the app to remind myself and its definitely stopping me have crazy binges, which I have been prone to my whole adult life. Worth a go? There are some useful techniques to stop you binge eating...

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 20/06/2017 15:54

I used to be crisp/biscuit addict. Eating whole packets of biscuits, 8 bags of crisps in a row then cheesy toast - I would literally be roaming the house looking for things to devour less than 2 hours after a perfectly decent evening meal. Actually had to phone in sick one day cos only trousers which fitted me were in the wash Losing weight was my key motivation so did Atkins , lost 2 stone and never looked back. There's only so much chicken you can stomach. It stops cravings and insulin spikes. Never felt better though I admit it's not for everyone. Good luck - it's a horrible place to be when you feel this.

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