Bride arranges for BFF to have proposal at her own wedding

[SwimmingInLemonade]

Ok, so we've heard the awful stories about people hijacking their friends' weddings with a surprise proposal (pizzabottle.com/34693-couples-friend-ruins-wedding-internet-fcking-furious/)

Now there's a story about a bride actively encouraging her best friend's fiance to propose at her own wedding reception: people.com/human-interest/bride-plans-best-friends-surprise-proposal-at-wedding/

My initial reaction was surprise that a bride would do this, and the pictures show everyone to be genuinely moved and happy. BUT (and I know I'm being massively unreasonable, not to mention grumpy and cynical) I can't help thinking "Wow, way to make your best friend's proposal all about YOU." The bride and her SISTER planned how the guy should propose, and she even said it was because she "wanted to be there" when her BFF got engaged. I looked at her instagram and it's all about the attention the story has got from the press... AIBU to think her BFF might in future get a little irked that every time her proposal story comes up, it'll be all about how wonderfully generous her friend was to "share" her day?

People will do just about anything for their 5 minutes of fame. Blame the tabloids who make this sort of shite "news"...

I hate public proposals like this where the pressure to say yes is so intense.

This actually happened at a family member's wedding when I was a teen, but because it did not take place on MN or in the popular press it was actually a lovely occasion and nobody stole anybody's thunder and nobody was all about themselves. But that's RL for you...

I doubt she will care tbh. My wedding was the most important thing whilst I was planning it. But now, I just think 'what a lovely day' and that's it. I love weddings, but now that I'm married I do think the important bit is the marriage rather than the wedding.

Two teachers at my kids school (quite a few years ago) were a couple. The guy proposed after the Infants Nativity play - right up there on stage in front of all the kids and a hall packed out with parents.
Most people oohed and aahed, but I just thought how massively inappropriate and attention seeking it was?

Maybe I'm just a black hearted old cow.

I doubt she will care tbh. My wedding was the most important thing whilst I was planning it. But now, I just think 'what a lovely day' and that's it. I love weddings, but now that I'm married I do think the important bit is the marriage rather than the wedding.

This x10

Flogging that would have made me cringe! I think I just have a prejudice against public proposals though, they always seem to be more about creating a spectacle for other people to ooh and aah at rather than a private moment between the two of you.

I am generally not a fan of a public proposal. I think it would be very hard to publically refuse.

That said, I witnessed a proposal at Glasgow Central Station on Christmas Eve one year. She had just got off the train. It was all very simple and quiet. No spectacle. It was so romantic 😍

Flogging, that's awful! How to make an event for the children all about you! And I wouldn't want my DD to aspire to it and it sounds like a memory that would stick out in the children's minds.

What is BFF? Is it Best Friend Forever?
The wedding atmosphere will be soured slightly if the answer's No..

It's hardly a surprise proposal either, what with being all over the press and social media.

Proposals/huge weddings. All narcissistic in my opinion. If you want to get married just bloody get on with it, quietly, it's nobodies business. I realise I sound like a grumpy arse, which I am.

If someone proposed to me in public I would end the relationship.

Sunshine, why do things have to be narcissistic? Why can't people just be enjoying themselves with their friends?

Our big wedding was actually a concession to my mother's taste as I knew she was unhappy about me moving away (and she offered to pay for it). But it also turned out a very lovely day for dh and me- precisely because we went into it with the attitude that we were going to have fun. And it was a great opportunity to gather my friends around to say good-bye and meet up with some relatives we hadn't seen for a long time. And for my parents to invite some of their friends. All nice people, all having a good time together.

Other big weddings I have been to have been similar: people who like each other having fun together. It's only on MN that everything has an ulterior motive.