How many uniforms for 12yo

[eternalnamechange]

I'm about to broach the subject of money needed for uniform and summer clothes for DS12 with my ex.

I've usually bought 4/5 sets of uniform for him, and I think considering puberty is imminent and that he plays football most lunchtimes, that I should continue with that.

He stays with his dad two nights, but this whole year, his dad has just put the same uniform on him the next day as he has gone there wearing at night. He doesn't always make sure he showers in between.

So, before we get into a possible debate about uniform budget, etc. AIBU in telling him that DS does require 5 sets of uniform which I'm happy to go and get, but he needs to. contribute more than his usual £100 per month, as DS also needs new summer clothes and trainers. Otherwise I will just buy three sets for when he is here and I'll be making sure he changes out of it before going there, and ex can make his own arrangements? Is that fair?

5 sets of uniform????? Not sure I understand your post.

My DD has the clothes she wears day-to-day in school, and we tend to have 2 of t-shirts, jumpers etc. More of trousers, which are just black and she wears outside school in any case.

1 x PE kit

Have i massively misunderstood? Why 5 of everything? Surely it's one to wear, one to wash?

Depends on the uniform. Dd has one skirt and three blouses, one jumper and one blazer. Five school socks. She occasionally wears a blouse twice and wears a skirt all week. The jumper I wash once a week but she doesn't wear it that much, the blazer gets dry cleaned at the end of term. She looks clean and I don't see any problem with it!

Ps showering every day is absolutely non negotiable.

Mrs plum I agree and will be mentioning that.

I know ex wears clean clothes and showers ever day, so I don't know why I ask DS and quite often he didn't get a shower. Ex specifically texted me about a year ago to say he's told ds he would be getting a shower every night or morning, but doesn't seem to have followed through with it. At the time I said make it at night because he he's showers at ours the opposite nights for football and if he had them at exs in the morning it would be 2 some days and none the others

Re uniform, I much prefer to wash it all once a week and don't really think it would stand up to being washed every day if I only had two sets. Plus I'd have to rely on ex to wash it and that's not happening.

My 6 year old has 4 pairs of grey trousers, 4 shirts. 5 jumpers. A polo and school tracksuit bottoms for pe and a school fleece. He has a uniform for everyday. So on a Friday I wash the whole lot. Dry it and iron it. I hang each days uniform up on a hanger with his socks vests and underpants as it means each night I take one out and it makes our mornings less stressful

at 12 years old your ds should be taking it upon himself to have a shower - he's not a small child any longer who needs to be reminded.

as for his uniform - you're off your rocker!
he doesn't need 5 sets of uniform, he doesn't need a new set on every day
what he needs is to learn to look after the clothes he's wearing - not getting them so filthy every day that he can't wear them again the next day.

i can understand wearing a different shirt everyday given the weather and sweating etc - but a whole set?

i think your ex should contribute to one set - and always have one set at his house available if ds needs to wear it.
However, your ds needs to start taking more responsibility for his uniform and making sure he either takes a spare shirt with him when he goes to his dads or keeps a set there.

given the rate at which your ds will be growing over the next few years i think it's ridiculous to be spending so much money on 5 sets of uniform......are you seriously going to buy him 5 sets everytime he has a growth spurt - even if it means buying new sets 3x a year?

We have 3 shirts
2 trousers
3 sports polos
3 ( random ) black sports shorts
1 jumper
2 ties
For a teenager boy
More than enough

A fresh shirt, pants socks for every day but everything else I have two pairs of.

As Couldn'tmake says above 12 year old boys can certainly grow -mine is 2 sizes bigger than he started the year. I am ashamed to admit he'd split his trousers before I realised just how much he'd grown

My secondary school uniform cost an absolute fortune - skirts were about £40 and that was nearly 20 years ago! So no way would I have had 5 sets! I had one skirt, one jumpe and three shirts I think (but clean one on every day). If you're going to buy 5 of anything make it shirts but at 12 he really should not need to change trousers or jumper every day.

My dd has a clean shirt for every day but only two skirts because they cost a bomb.

IME if they play football at lunchtime, they need a pair a day, unless you do a midweek wash. If boys wore skirts or shorts you could get away with multiple wears, but trousers? Nope.

And of course they need a fresh shirt every day, regardless of sex. Thankfully shirts are usually inexpensive.

5 shirts

2 trousers

1 blazer

1 tie (I used to buy two, but then I saw lost property had 2,000 so now if they lose it the get a second hand one from the office)

They also have a jumper each but never wear it

1 PE kit.

I might add to this over the year as necessary.

I have a 12 yr old DS - we have 5 shirts, 2 pants (but need 3), 1 jumper, 2 ties, 1 blazer and 1 full pe kit.
Ideally he would re-wear stuff but it gets dirty from break and at 12 he is starting to sweat. So I prefer if he wears a clean one and definitely showers every day.

Fresh shirts each day if he's a sweaty lad or its hot. (If not new shirt every other day)
2 of everything else.

He needs to learn not to get it heavily mucky each day.

6 shirts (2x pack of 3) as we only wash whites once a week
2 pairs of trousers (useful to have a spare in case they get ripped or muddy)
1 jumper, 1 blazer,
2 ties ss they go missing sometimes

Five full sets sounds a lot, even for a lunch-time football player.

So I couldn't help you find a way to get your XH to pay for it. If affordability is a question, then go for the school second hand sale (if there is one) or supermarket clothes.

Also, if you replace items only when trashed/outgrown you will spread the cost significantly.

It's not particularly fair on your DS to control his summer clothing in the way you suggest. At 12, you're likely to be able to impose your will, but if he can't wear which if his clothes he chooses on the day he chooses this isn't going to improve his life.

Get the maintenance sorted out, if it isn't. Is £100 is a fair amount (at least the minimum the govt would try to insist on via CMS)?

Given their propensity to sit on their arses on their PlayStations I see muddy trousers as evidence that they've had at least some physical exercise, so I can't get too irritated by it.

DS (13) has

2 trousers
2 jumpers
2 sets of PE kit- I started with 1 but he plays on a few of the school teams so needs it 3-4 days a week
3 polo shirts

Shirt/tie are optional at his school but he's just decided to start wearing them so I've just bought 4 white shirts and a tie

So currently he has loads of uniform. I do uniform washing Wednesdays and at the weekend.

Teenage boys here and we have 5 shirts, 3 trousers, 3 jumpers. Shirts washed once a week and jumpers/trousers washed twice a week. IMO teenage boys need clean shirt ABD trousers every day dye to sweat/football/teenage boy mucking about!

My 12 year old has 8 shirts, two pairs of trousers and a jumper. He has two sets of PE kit but only as a top was inherited from DD who has left school and his shorts came in a pack of two.
I didn't purposely buy so many shirts he started off with long sleeved ones then I bought some short sleeved ones.
His jumper and trousers get washed and dried after school daily if needed.