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AIBU to cut this negative nancy out of my life?

22 replies

PrincessPopCake · 19/06/2017 22:05

I've been friends with this woman for a long time but she is the most negative person I've ever met. Since I've become a Mum I'm finding even more that we're not on the same level and am hating her constant little snipes about how I do things with my child. However the issue is she recently accused my partner of stealing from her! My partner is (understandably) really upset about this and now wants nothing to do with her.
I've cut her out before for being negative (constantly moaning, emotional vampire) and really want to do it again now. The only issue is she is going through a tough time and is going through a couple of court cases, one relating to abuse she suffered and another not related. So am I being unfair for cutting her out at a time like this?

OP posts:

FanaticalFox · 19/06/2017 22:08

YANBU can't bear a mood hoover


Malfoyy · 19/06/2017 22:14

Her tough times are not your worry. She doesn't sound like she's a good friend to you who would give you similar consideration so I'd cut her out if I were you. Life's too short for that shit.


MajesticWhine · 19/06/2017 22:15

YANBU... but tell her why.


PrincessPopCake · 19/06/2017 22:25

@FanaticalFox love that 'mood hoover'

OP posts:

Donttouchthethings · 19/06/2017 22:26

Can I ask why she's accused your dp of stealing from her? That's quite extreme. If there's really no truth in it I would think you have to end it w your friend, don't you? I mean, what's she going to make up next? You surely have to protect your partner from any more of this kind of shit.


MsVestibule · 19/06/2017 22:27

YADNBU. If somebody accused my DH of stealing from them, there's no way I could continue to be friends with them, regardless of her mood hoovering tendencies or impending court cases!


PrincessPopCake · 19/06/2017 22:29

@MajesticWhine I am going to tell her why, she's really upset my husband who would never steal from anyone. I really hate confrontation though so am thinking of emailing her to tell her why, is that a bit of a cop out?
Last time I parted ways with her I did tell her face to face. We became friends again a few years later and she had improved but she's reverted back to her old ways

OP posts:

Lochan · 19/06/2017 22:29

I'm not sure on a practical level how you stay in touch with someone who falsely accused your DP of stealing?


MistressDeeCee · 19/06/2017 22:31

Show some solidarity with your DH and cut ties with her. YABU if you don't.


PoppyTree · 19/06/2017 22:31

Also love 'mood hoover!' Grin

From google.

Mood hoovers moan, complain and blame. They drain the energy and vitality of a room faster than a leaky battery, and replace it with their own doom and gloom perspectives.

Never heard it before, it's brilliant.

OP, you don't need to tolerate this negative Nancy as you put it. Give her a wide berth. Make yourself less available.


PrincessPopCake · 19/06/2017 22:34

@Donttouchthethings it was after a BBQ at her house. My OH asked if he could take some food back as there was so much leftover but she said no. Later that night she couldn't find the food so thought he had stolen it and proceed to say as much to everyone left at the party. What had actually happened is someone had put it all in a black bag to tidy up!

OP posts:

Lochan · 19/06/2017 22:34

Sorry, what I mean is, I wouldn't want her at my house (to protect my DH) and I wouldn't want to go to her house (to protect myself).

Similarly I wouldn't want to put myself in a position in a restaurant or pub that I might be alone with her handbag.

And all that is aside from the fact that I'd be furious.


redexpat · 19/06/2017 22:37

Mood hoover? I call them dementors because they suck all the joy away.


PrincessPopCake · 19/06/2017 22:45

@Lochan it was money or anything valuable just some leftover BBQ food but it the principle of the thing. I have been really pissed of about it but was kind of worried people would think I was overreacting for cutting her off for it.

OP posts:

PrincessPopCake · 19/06/2017 22:46

*wasn't money

OP posts:

GaynorGoodwin · 19/06/2017 22:52

I'm not sure I could keep the friendship going, I mean, what's to save really?


LadyPenelope67 · 19/06/2017 22:56

YANBU at all! I can't believe you're even asking the question after the way she treated your OH. What a nasty, miserable piece of work she sounds. Ditch the bitch and don't look back.


FetchezLaVache · 19/06/2017 23:00

Did she apologise fulsomely to your DH when the Truth about the Leftover Burgers came to light?


Gemini69 · 19/06/2017 23:16

Cut the Oxygen thief off .... NOW x


Donttouchthethings · 19/06/2017 23:27

It sounds over the top for her to use the word stolen in that context. She might have thought he'd taken it but to say he'd stolen it and tell people that, sounds ott. It's also disrespectful to you.

I can't imagine being friends with someone like that so I'm finding it difficult to judge it.

Did she explain and apologise?


emmyrose2000 · 20/06/2017 08:01


I think you've way under reacted. Anyone who made false accusations against my DH or child/ren would be cut off immediately, with no chance of ever being let back into my life.

Stand by your DH and cut this woman dead today!


gamerchick · 20/06/2017 08:10

Yes you've undereacted. You would feel gutted if your bloke didn't have your back with his friends in this way. Don't show yourself to be a pushover by letting this slide.

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