To think I can still be able to argue/be pissed off with DH even when FIL terminally ill?

[Constructionbook]

FIL been ill for few months pretty much been in hospital the whole time getting weaker and weaker no one knows how long he has left but doesn't look good. We have 2 dc under 2.5. We've had his family members staying the whole time (on sofa) as we are close to the hospital.

Tonight after a hard day we fell out. I feel he was unfair to me and called him on it. Now I feel terrible for not pulling myself together to suck it up. I mean his dad is very ill you don't get much worse than that. In my defence I feel like I've sucked up so much recently I'm ready to burst.

So Wibu? Anyone been in my situation who can give me some advice?

Depends what he did I think?

Totally depends on what happened

You are all dealing with a very stressful and upsetting situation plus you have relatives staying which is tough no matter how close you are. You're human don't be so hard on yourself.

Depends on the circumstances. You've not given enough information.

However, even though FIL is in hospital, life goes on, and you sound like you have made a lot,of compromises having relatives stay, possibly at short notice. Have they been appreciative of you hosting, or taken it for granted?

If DH was out of order, then I don't see any problem in questioning it.

errrr......situations like that are not an acceptable reason for treating people like shit.
I'm glad you called him out on it.

Why are family members STILL staying on your couch months down the line?
That would seriously piss me off and stress me out - and i don't even have dc to factor into that!
They need to book themselves into a bnb.

Does your dh do all the cooking, cleaning, entertaining for his guests?
Does he do that as well as doing his normal share of chores/childcare?

It's already a stressful time and you also need a break - normally home would be the sanctuary.
You need you own personal/private space back to relax in.

I had this situation 2 years ago. It's hard being on the other side as your the one picking up the pieces for your family and giving them some normality. Keep ploughing on. Apologise if you stepped over the line but move on. This time will pass and your dh will need you even more then.

I think that whatever the reason for the falling out, you've got 2 DC under 2.5 and wider family members staying with you constantly. And I guess it's not a big house, if they're on the sofa, so close quarters can make even small disagreements seem worse.

It's going to be hard, so go easy on yourself. While cutting some slack is indeed the right thing to do, most of the time, you're right that this situation doesn't entitle anyone to be mean.

My dad has just been rushed into hospital again for the second time in two weeks. I'm anxiously waiting for an update from my DB, who's with him, as someone has to keep an eye on mum, who's equally frail. This doesn't mean I get to be a dick to other people.

Give yourself a break - you are all dealing with a horrible situation, but people are going to argue/piss each other off at some point. If you think you were unreasonable then apologise and move on. If not, then move on and let DH know that it's done and dusted.