AIBU to think 2 shifts a week isn't enough for DD this coming year?

[Stevensss]

DD is 18 and has a part-time job. She will be going to college next year. She does Wednesday 4-10 and Sunday 5-10. AIBU to think this isn't enough for her to do over the next year? She's claiming it is

Right crossed posts.

Spanish at afukt education classes and not for another year?

No way would I be funding her (via free board) for that. If she wants to go to uni she should go back to college and resit her A levels or choose new ones. If she can't do that, she's not cut out for uni and will be running up a lot of debt doing a low entry grade course that gets her no further than not going.

Before I get shouted at - that's not my view for mature students using different access routes. But her age, there's no reason not to do A levels again.

No the Spanish she looked at for this year. She is doing an access course for 2018 September

@Ellisandra the sixth form wouldn't keep her on because she got Es. They only would keep her on if she got D+ so was actually advised not to continue them. A careers adviser suggested an access course and she only saw them last month.

OK, so she sounds like she understands the value of money, and is perfectly capable of hard work. Apprenticeship shows that - presumably full time for low wage. And you say she's not lazy.

She sounds a bit lost - A levels didn't work out brilliantly, apprenticeship wasn't what she wanted to do - sounds a bit vague about next study... What does she actually want to do a uni? Just go, not sure on course?

I think I'd let this one play out... Let her do nothing for the summer, be young, enjoy it. And see if boredom does the trick for you. If not, I'd start talking about more hours come September.

Charge her a fixed weekly amount to love at home. She's an adult and needs to contribute.

Anything she earns above this is hers to keep, and will incentivise her to take on more shifts. Say she pays £50/week. That's about 50% of her current take-home pay. However, if she works full time, £50 will be a much smaller sacrifice.

I can't see why an adult should have money on the bank, £400/month in disposable income, and not have to contribute something.

Why not encourage her to do more shifts and work towards saving for a specific project like an extended trip? Are any friends doing travelling? A year off at this age is a real gift but to waste it on doing almost nothing is, well, a waste.

If she's planning to learn Spanish what about travel in S. America? Get her enthused about something. She doesn't need anything and dislikes her job hence her lack of motivation.

What makes her think she can cope with uni with the AS Es?

If there was a problem with the subjects, the environment, something in her personal life then I can understand an access course being a different start.

But if the Es are her academic level, why is she talking about uni?

@Ellisandra she was hardly there due to a broken femur and had a long time off after surgery and then physio every Friday so always missed that Friday class. They still wouldn't keep her on though and I don't know what another college would say? The careers advisor knew about this and still suggested the access course. DD was originally looking at extended diplomas to start this year but the lady said would be better to do access as she looked at the set modules each offered.

In fairness some jobs these days only offer these measly hours. Perhaps that is something that needs to be factored in. Perhaps coming up to a busy period she could be offered more hours.

Ouch! Poor thing. That's a big old bone to break!

I am not a careers adviser was it one linked to her school? If I were her, I would want to know how uni applications would view acces course vs A level results for her age.

You haven't said what she wants to do at uni though... Does she know? Would volunteering in something related her application? If so and she still said she wasn't interested in volunteering I'd question her real commitment to that uni course and be very unwilling to help fund it!

It sounds like she had a tough time with the AS levels but she has her GCSEs to demonstrate her ability and the apprenticeship. I would check if other colleges would take her to re-start A levels on the strength of those - if they're good enough.

If she doesn't like where she's working, why doesn't she find something else? When she passes her test, that 300 a month spare will be taken just running her car anyway. If she doesn't go out much I could imagine she'll get very bored just working 11 hours a week.

She'll be fine .. I did that aged 16-19 and then have only upped to 22 hours in my MA year ...

Would agree that 11 hours a week is not enough to keep her occupied. I would be telling her that it's not negotiable - she needs to occupy herself at least 30 hours a week. How she does that is up to her but it has to be something constructive like working in the local charity shop, taking extra classes at nightschool or picking up more part time work.

Oh wait this is for a year off ? Get her to work full time!!

Don't throw her out but suggest she would rather not have to work more hours whilst studying and refuse to fund her

Also - my niece started with a large supermarket on a 12 hour a week contract in the run up to Christmas and has pretty much worked full time ever since.

""But if the Es are her academic level, why is she talking about uni?""

It depends on what Degree that she wants to go on to. A subject that you like with a real end goal of the career that you want, being those few years older can add together to make a better end result.

A year not bogged down with working might help her to decide that she does want to do more voluntary work.

As a pp said she has a good work ethic, is a brilliant saver and budgeter, why be tough on her?

Mant people on here seem to leave home for Uni and never look back and want the same for their children.

OP i'd decide what sort of relationship you want in the future, before you take some of the harsher advice.

Why is she having a year off? She is already behind (for totally understandable reasons, not knocking her for that) surely she needs to start her course in September 2017???

So she will be working part time, retaking exams and hopefully going to Uni next year, and is still recovering from a serious injury.
Yes, that sounds like enough to keep her busy, though I would suggest that over the summer she lets her employer know she is available for extra shifts, and that she fits in some work experience relating to her planned course/career

Get her to pay keep, don't fund her for anything, then going against the grain of the thread to be honest you then need to back off and let natural consequences take over. Or not.

In other words, if you make her a bit less financially comfortable by paying her way, if she does her bit at home and she still only wants to work 11 hours, then I don't think there's much you can do about her choices.

@happypoobum access courses won't have her until 19 and she has asked.

She wants to do zoology at uni. He's academic and has great GCSEs but she is mature for her age and doesn't particularly get in with people younger than her, hence she is more eager to do the access than retaking a levels with 16 yo.

Is there a Zoo or animal sanctuary near you? Most will take on interns and that would be useful experience for her......She might even get paid work.

My DD did some unpaid work at our local one.

I'm not sure "behind" is a real concept in this context. It isn't a race, and even 25 years ago the age range on an undergraduate degree is huge (varies a bit by uni, some are very 18 yo heavy but others are popular with mature students).

*25 years ago = was obviously!

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 I'm with you. Life is so relentless. We all work so hard. She's just finished with the stress of high school, which is quite frankly awfully intense.
If you all can afford it, let her take it easy for a year. Kind of like a nice relaxing gap year.

The whole 'when I was 10 i worked 500 hours a week' brigade will be out in full force.
But I think let her take a bit of time. She is enrolled in uni. In a few years she'll work hard, I promise. For the next 50 years of her life. Let her ease into adulthood slowly.