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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re new baby name?

25 replies

happynew2017 · 19/06/2017 15:42

I have a friend who has a teenage daughter - let's call her Kaitlyn. I have known her since she was a baby. My friend and I make sure we see each other during the school holidays (she works term time, I have days off each week) and text every couple of weeks, so we are quite close I'd say. When we're together it's like we've never been apart.

Anyway, I am pregnant with my first baby girl, there's only one name I truly love - Caitlin.

Would I be unreasonable to call my baby the same name as my close friends teenage daughter but spell it differently? I'm going to run it by her but interested to know what you think?

OP posts:
amysmummy12345 · 19/06/2017 15:43

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest 😊

FluffyMcCloud · 19/06/2017 15:44

I have a friend in similar circumstances to yours and she recently had a baby and named him the same as my teenage son. She spoke to me and said she just loves the name and would it be weird. I was chuffed to be honest! And not weird at all. It's a fairly common name to be fair but still, didn't bother me in the least.
Just talk to your friend.

cannotthinkofanorginialname · 19/06/2017 15:45

I wouldn't... there are millions of names in the world, why give your DD the same name as your friend's DD? I would be annoyed if a close friend gave their child almost exactly the same name as my DC. People often say on here that no one owns a name but I just think why would you? There must be another name you can use and give Caitlin as a middle name.

BeepBeepMOVE · 19/06/2017 15:47

I think it's odd. But it's your baby.

RelaxMax · 19/06/2017 15:47

I'd do it.

Tbh I wouldn't ask her in advance though - what if you ask her and she says no? Telling people a name in advance just makes them think you're asking their opinion.

When the baby arrives, just announce her name then say you've always loved the name. If you think she's likely to be arsey about it you could always soften the blow with some kind of "hope she grows up as lovely as your kaitlyn!" Kind of compliment.

Want2beme · 19/06/2017 15:57

Some of us are very territorial when it comes to names - sad but true. My name is a fairly common one, but the spelling is unusual for the country that I live in and I like it that way, I don't know anyone else who spells it that way. If your friend's daughter's name is unusual, I wouldn't give it to your baby, even with a different spelling. If the name you like is an Irish name, (Caitlin is Catherine in English, I believe), would you consider using the English version of it?

Original poster
happynew2017 · 19/06/2017 16:03

cannotthinkofanorginialname - honestly I can't think of another name that I truly love as much as this one!

I do feel as though I should speak to her first as I think she'd find it more weird that I never mentioned it throughout the pregnancy. I'm hoping that both my friend and Kaitlyn* will see it as a compliment! Perhaps if she was younger and there'd be more chance of Kaitlyn and my baby spending lots of time together then I'd be put off but as it is, Kaitlyn is off out enjoying being a teenager and getting up to who knows what :)

*Kaitlyn - I know this is probably obvious but this isn't the actual name! :)

OP posts:
HildaOg · 19/06/2017 17:25

There's a big age gap so it doesn't make a difference. It's a complement if anything. Caitlin Jenner ruined that name for me tbh.

HildaOg · 19/06/2017 17:25

So glad that's not the name!

FizzyGreenWater · 19/06/2017 17:31

Our friends have just named their new baby the same name as our youngest. Chuffed to bits!!! 😁

Heratnumber7 · 19/06/2017 17:35

How would you feel if the boot was on the other foot, so to speak. I.e. If a friend named her child the same name as you gave your child?

ProfessorHannigan · 19/06/2017 17:48

Wouldn't bother me at all! In fact Id be flattered. You're not family members and have different surnames so I can't see when there would be a cause for any confusion either. I wouldn't even run it by her but present as a fair accompli. You might change your mind anyway!!

NavyandWhite · 19/06/2017 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IHaveACrapCat · 19/06/2017 18:11

I gave my DD a middle name that was exactly the same as a good friend (named after MIL)

I hadn't even realised until I announced the name and my mate gushed about how pleased she was that I'd named the baby after her, daft thing.

I'd do it if you love it

ALemonyPea · 19/06/2017 18:16

If they were very close in age it'd be a bit odd, but there a big age gap and they're unlikely to be mates who go out drinking in town together, so yeah I think it's fine.

I have a DC with the same name as a friend, and I have a friend who 'stole' another of my DC name as she loved it. Didn't bother me one jot.

SquatBetty · 19/06/2017 18:16

I have just done this!!! Named my 3 week old DD after one of my oldest friend's teenage daughters. Friend was very happy about it and I did let her know in advance as it would have felt a bit strange not to.

ItalianWiking84 · 19/06/2017 18:59

Wouldn't bother me at all. My very close friend has given her baby dd the same name as me. They love the name and it was the name they always returned to when talking names. She did "ask" and I said that of course they could use it. I find it cute to see a little cute girl with the same name as me

greendale17 · 19/06/2017 19:00

I wouldn't do it

Ecureuil · 19/06/2017 19:29

Really wouldn't bother me. When DD2 was born, DH's best friend and wife were having their DC1 2 weeks later. When we told them her name they said the name we'd given her was literally the only name they could agree on for a girl. It didn't bother me in the slightest! They actually had a boy but I really wouldn't have minded.

DrSpin · 19/06/2017 19:35

We called our DD the same name as my best friends two children (one dds name as a first name, other as a second name). There is a 15 year age gap between the girls. Best friends whole family were delighted. We asked them first, they couldn't be more chuffed.

Original poster
happynew2017 · 20/06/2017 08:30

Thanks for all the replies, nice to see so many similar scenarios with happy outcomes!

I am going to ask her later if she would find it weird!

OP posts:
Sparklyuggs · 20/06/2017 09:14

My mum and her oldest friend gave and her second daughter the same (top 10) name. There's a 10 year age gap and we didn't see it other that much, school holidays etc. Never caused an issue.

bertiesgal · 20/06/2017 09:40

My mum's friend named her new baby after me when I was in my early teens. They asked first as my name is slightly unusual. They sweetened the deal by saying that they hoped the baby would turn out to be as lovely as me 😊.

Mum was really touched and I still feel chuffed about it even though the baby is now a proper grown up.

I'd only see an issue if you didn't discuss it with them first.

Go for it!

emmyrose2000 · 20/06/2017 10:12

YANBU

I'd do it. It wouldn't occur to me not to. If your friend gets upset then she is being ridiculous and unreasonable, and it's her issue to deal with.

If I liked a name, I wouldn't let anyone else's use or opinion influence me in the slightest. I also wouldn't ask your friend about using it. I'd just announce/say it in conversation (or when the baby is born) the same way you would if using any other name.

Decaffstilltastesweird · 20/06/2017 10:15

Wouldn't bother me either.

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