To never know when my DC are ill enough for a day off?

[MrsOverTheRoad]

I'm crap at it! I either give them a day off in error and find them playing happily by lunchtime or I send them ill!

Now both DD's aged 12 and 9 have a cough and cold...and DD who is 12 is whinging in her room (we're in Oz and it's night here) because I've said that a cold is no reason to have a day off school tomorrow!

She's got no issues with school...happy as ever with her mates and work.

She's snotty and says her head hurts...but she's so dramatic!

How am I meant to KNOW??

We had this a few years ago with DSS and DH wasn't sure whether he was trying it on or not - we could see he was a bit under the weather but not that unwell. I said if DSS missed school then that was find but he was to stay in his bedroom and rest, no electronics or TV, he'd be allowed to quietly read though. He went to school...

That won't wash with DD. She'd sob all day basically. I think I'll just make her go. If she's healthy enough to moan regularly then she's fit for school really...properly ill people don't come in telling you about it do they?

After teaching for 20-odd years I can spot a kid faking illness from a mile off! My kids attendance are about 99% as a result

Babycham but share your wisdom! WHat are the signs??

She's just heard DH in the kitchen...we live in a bungalow...so she's come out of her room coughing ostentatiously and said "I just coughed up chunks!"

[boak]

Now she's gone back into her room but not before announcing loudly "My HEAD hurts!"

Oh that's it! Now she's roaring with laughter at something on her phone!

Probably her friends taking the piss out of THEIR parents!

If you're not sure, they're probably well enough to go :)

It is difficult when dc are drama llamas (as my dd has a tendency to be) because you never know if they are crying wolf or not.

Generally though I stick to:

Temperature or vomiting and/or diarrhoea = keep them off

And I'd probably keep them off if they had such an awful cough/cold/flu bug that they couldn't function but would have to be very bad indeed (and they'd prob have a temperature in that instance anyway).

Anything else = go in

Other exceptions such as migraine/period pain/stress/(serious) mental distress - have to be judged on an individual basis. Not easy.

And agree with pp - don't make staying at home "too enjoyable" unless they are really sick of course.

Also, especially when they are young, it depends somewhat on what the arrangements are if they become ill at school. I am lucky in that the school has an infirmary, and I can get there within about 20 mins and I am usually available to do so. If you worked miles away it might not be so easy.

If my dd has enough energy to protest loudly and whinge a lot about going to school and be a bit obnoxious about it, then I know she is not that ill When she is really ill she tends to be quiet/withdrawn etc.

my answer usually is "a good sleep will make you feel better" surely if its night she may be tired which could be causing the headache...plus if she has a cold that will make it feel worse.

my mum used to say I had to go to school and if I was poorly the teacher would call her to come collect us...Though the one time the school nurse tried phoning no-one answered the phone so I had to stay in school lol

mine are 5 and 8 so at the moment it's pretty easy to know if they're ill...they go all quiet/sleepy/moany and don't want to do anything....

Agree with pp - high temp, or D&V, (or chickenpox) stay at home, pretty much anything else - go in.

Vomiting/Sickness/High Temps - stay home.

Completely miserable from no sleep because of cold/constant running nose - you can see they're ill in their eyes normally - stay home

Anything else they go in and I just tell the teacher they're feeling under the weather and to call me if the school thinks they need to come home.

Mine are 5 and 8 too - if they're well enough to physically fight and yell when I try to get them dressed, they're well enough to go to school. Haven't had more than 2 days a year since school started, usually less - they got chicken pox and d&v out of their systems at nursery.

Unless it's something very obvious, like vomiting or diarrhoea, my mother always sent us in with the promise that if we continued to feel unwell we could come home. I only ever remember actually needing to come home once in those circumstances and I never faked feeling sick in the morning.

And as PP said, no TV, screens etc which will discourage any future feigned illnesses too.

As similar PPs with temp or D&V

Also if mine have had a day off sick then they are obviously too sick to participate in what ever the after-school activity might be that evening - club, Scouts/Guides/party etc. I remind them of that in the morning just to be sure

That sobbing won't be real distress though will it? I mean yes she'll be pissed off but surely it's more akin to when kids cry when you're not letting them have chocolate for dinner. It's not like you're refusing to comfort a sick child, just putting your foot down over letting her enjoy entertainment when she ought to be at school. I don't know about you but I find prolonged sobbing takes up a lot of energy, if I was ill I wouldn't be able to keep it up for long!

With ds1 and ds2 I could ask if they felt well enough to go and get an honest answer. Ds3 however is completely different and I have kept him off when he's been fine and sent him in only to have him vomit all over the lunch hall and his classroom assistant. Since then I have tended to err on the side of caution but it can be so difficult to get it right.

I tend to send them in if I'm not sure as I'm only 5 mins walk from the school. Sometimes I've had a phone call to collect but a lot of times they have been just fine and don't even remember they were feeling I'll by the end of the school day.
Actual vomit and very high temperatures on the thermometer do obviously mean they stay home of course.

Mine is : fever or barfing. We're in Canada where they're expected to have something like 11 minor colds during flu season (can't remember where I heard that now???) which when you think about it,means all winter we're sniffing and coughing.

My kids learned that unless you are

1. Unconscious
2. Rabidly infectious
3. Losing bodily fluids
4. Cannot breathe
5. Have a Broken bone

You go to school.

Temperature or vomiting and/or diarrhoea = keep them off

This is us, too. If their fever is below 100 (F), we make a judgment based on other symptoms. #2 son complained about feeling ill last year, and had a low fever, I told him he could stay home but he chose to go to school. By the time he got home, his fever was over 103, and he had the flu. Now if we think they might incubating something, we keep them home.