to expect DH to watch his 3 month old son while I wash DD(3)?

[LowFatMilkshake]

Basically DH was scheduled for 2 weeks off work, last week on his shift rota and this week as annual leave.

He offered to work last week because we need some extra cash, I was'nt over the moon as it was his first time off work since DS was born and I was looking forward to sharing the load a bit. However could not grumble at the extra money, and DH promised to give me a break from being full on with the children everyday on the second of his weeks off. This is that week

Today I put DS on the bed in our room, while DH was tidying in there and went to wash DD and put a bit of make-up on, I was gone 5 minutes tops.

I was already a bit cross with him over some tops of his that I was selling on e-bay as he had told me they were unworn and then pulled them out of the cupoboard and remarked how one had a dirty collar - which means I have had to revise the listing and risk bad feedback.

So when I came back in to find DS was still where I left him and whinging a bit and DH was occupied tidying still and then noticed DS had been a little bit sick (tiniest bit, but it had trickled round his head and was on the beck of his neck and top) I told DH he was useless and scooped up DS.

DH threw down everything he was holding and said - what's the point of me having a week off if I can't get anything done?

I pointed out that actually he had told me he would help out with the children and was I asking so much just for him to watch one while I washed the other?? I then stormed out as I was begining to get tearful. And he followed me down saying he would leave all the little jobs that needed doing so he could stare at children all day!

He's not useless, he does loads round the house and I was wrong to call him useless. He's also great with DD and has loads more patience with her than me, although DS can frustrate him when he wont stop crying - so I did apologise. Also I leave DS to chinge for much more than 5 minutes when I am busy when DH is at work, but as both of us were home am I being unreasonable to expect him to spend 5 minutes watching his son before I take him back again and he can get on with whatever in peace?

BUMP

He sounds exactly like my husband!

I really dont think it was that big a deal, tbh. He was doing something, not just sat on his arse watching telly.

I think you over-reacted, tbh.

These things aren't worth arguing about.

Aw Milkshake {hug}

I give DD2 to my DH and within 5 mins I guarantee that he would have put her in her baby swing. I try to use it only as a last resort otherwise I fear it will lose it's magic properties

Men seem to regard young babies more as things rather than individuals until they can interact with them more. I know thats a generalisation but it's my experience.

"He's not useless, he does loads round the house and I was wrong to call him useless. He's also great with DD and has loads more patience with her than me, although DS can frustrate him when he wont stop crying "

This is the same for my family

My Dp is the same - also a great dad, but he would definitely have let this happen. if you're the primary carer - and some would say, because you're the mother - I think you do often develop a kind of super-awareness and eyes in the back of your head and know things like this sooner than your partner. The other day I coould see a mile off that DS was about to walk nto a table and bang his head and was calling at DP to catch him, but he was miles away. My DP just seems to be able to not notice these things...

It would have annoyed me, mind, but I think you have to let it go.

I give my husband a really hard time, but ive read some threads on here from women whos husbands behave really badly and then i feel guilty

I have apologised and it was really the e-bay thing that had me angry but this gave me a reaon to fire up.

We are friends again now and I have a lovely tidy bedroom.

excellent

Actually the other day my parents came over and me and my mum were in the kitchen while my dad was entertaining the kids in the front room. We both hearda massive thud and then crying from ds2 who is 1. He had been on the sofa and my dad saw that he was about to go over the end and instead of grabbing his legs hwe just grabbed his trousers and my son went headfirst.
My dad said 'he will know not to do that next time'

My dh would probably have forgotten the baby was there and would probably have been looking on ebay by the time I came back, he is totally oblivious to untidiness

Glad to hear you are friends again and your bedroom is tidy hope you enjoy the rest of his week off

clearly it was one of those lose lose situations our men find themselves in, damned for ignoring the ds, damned for having an untidy bedroom. Hmmm, we cant see the floor on our bedroom just now, but thats because im really quite lazy!