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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Uptight about kids being outside?

65 replies

OuchLegoHurts · 18/06/2017 18:58

It's a fabulous day where I live (we don't get many of these!) and most of my neighbours and their kids are outside, either out the front on the green area or in their gardens playing with paddling pools, hoses etc. Yet again, my next door neighbours are getting uptight about their young children being out the back. I can hear them letting them outside for about 5 minutes and then telling them that it's too hot, to go inside...there was even an argument at once stage with the mum telling the daughter (of about 3) to get back in and put on her dress! I have another friend who thinks that the sun is the devil itself and that it's too much hassle to allow water fights and fun outside as it means suncream and hats etc. Am I wrong to get really irritated by this and think that we in the Northern Hemisphere really have to grab it while we can and that it's sad to hear kids wanting to go out in the sun but not being allowed?

OP posts:
Purplepotatoe · 18/06/2017 19:03

Bet they're the same parents who also complain about electronics and kids never playing outdoors! Some people just love having something to fuss over. YANBU

Original poster
OuchLegoHurts · 18/06/2017 19:08

Exactly! And whose primary topic of conversation is the "awful weather" we have all winter, spring etc. And it's not even that hot here today - about 24 degrees

OP posts:
HappydaysArehere · 18/06/2017 19:14

Surely loose clothing and a hat would be all that is needed.

Lucked · 18/06/2017 19:18

My 3 year old does get the most horrendous heat rashes that take forever to clear but I try not to restrict her too much. I would avoid the mid day sun on a very hot day.

EdithWeston · 18/06/2017 19:23

YANBU

Except the bit about suncream. It is really important that children do not burn. I think it's worth the hassle of applying/reapplying and letting them get on with it. So if request for putting dress in was their family-speak for having some covering against the sun, that bit shouldn't be an issue.

witsender · 18/06/2017 19:23

Depends what time of day we are talking about? It has been early 30ies here, I wouldn't/haven't let my (fully rufty tufty, outdoors all the time) kids play out for long tbh, without reminding them about the shade. We have spent most of the day swimming in rash vests with hats on today.

I know we are not some super hot country so are supposed to 'make the most of it' but an overheated/burnt/dehydrated child is no fun for anyone.

I also ensure that mine (especially my son, who has inherited my pale complexion) are covered up and well lotioned. I guess I would sound pretty uptight top to an outsider, but my kids are outside more or less all day every day, so they are far from deprived of fresh air

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 18/06/2017 19:25

What is that quote about mad dogs and Englishmen, and the midday sun?

Sensible to stay in the shade (if not indoors) between 11-3. And yes, sunscreen, and frequent reapplication of sunscreen if in and out of paddling pools is essential.

user1497480444 · 18/06/2017 19:29

you don't know how they react to the heat. its quite common for it to cause immediate anaemia in some northern Europeans. Some people just don't do well in it, I'm one of them. Its definitely not for me or my DC. We are outside all the time, but stay inside in this weather.

DoctorDonnaNoble · 18/06/2017 19:29

Some of us are ginger and alarmingly pale. We do have to be that careful in the sun. It is impossible to 'make the most of it' for more than 5 minutes. Even with factor 50.

user1497480444 · 18/06/2017 19:30

Its really none of your business, just let people who know their children best, and who know the family reaction to heat, take care of them

MiladyThesaurus · 18/06/2017 19:30

Somewhat tangential, but you do know that large parts of the northern hemisphere are hot all year round...

My DH is like your neighbours. It's exhausting just listening to him worry about the sun.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 18/06/2017 19:30

If the kids are very fair or prone to heat exhaustion then it makes sense to be cautious.
I'm a bit like that myself and being outside for just a little too long can make me feel really shitty for hours Sad

Original poster
OuchLegoHurts · 18/06/2017 19:39

Of course it's not my business user but this is AIBU and that's the whole point! Also, the child doesn't have pale skin or any medical issues, I was wondering when that old chestnut would come up...they've also told us that they got a big barbeque as a gift years ago but " why would you bother?" and never used it even once. I personally (and yes it's none of my business) think it's sad that their kids hear the other kids having fun outside and aren't allowed.

OP posts:
user1497480444 · 18/06/2017 19:42

being outside for just a little too long can make me feel really shitty for hours

are you white? It could well be that anemia I was talking about. Normally, we replace literally millions of red blood cells every hour, but in some people, this slows right down in heat, and takes hours to get back up to normal levels.

wonkylegs · 18/06/2017 19:43

My two have been begging to be out all day but I only let them out for a few hours early this morning and again later this afternoon because I don't want 2 burnt dehydrated children who are whingey because they are too hot.
The one year old doesn't understand about staying in the shade and sun lotion only does so much, the advice is actually to stay out of the sun at its hottest. Mine are also very fair with white blonde hair and burn (like their parents) in the slightest sunshine.
They got plenty of fresh air & sunshine but they didn't need to be outside the whole day for that. Its forecast to be a nice week so a little everyday is better than over doing it today.

permalice · 18/06/2017 19:43

"but this is AIBU"

I think YABU. it's perfectly sensibly to keep DC indoors in the heat if the day, and no reflection on this roversll activity levels. Avoiding sunburn is a seriously good thing to do to foster your Dc's future health/well-being.

That they got an unwanted gift a few years ago shoukdnmt merit more than a shrug. It's not compulsory to like cooking outdoors.

Original poster
OuchLegoHurts · 18/06/2017 19:46

I'm not advocating getting burned, but a nice healthy dose of vitamin d is great! My kids we're covered with hats, t shirts and sun cream and were in the shade a lot of the time. It still was great fun to be out though!

OP posts:
Original poster
OuchLegoHurts · 18/06/2017 19:47

And again, it's mid twenties here, not thirty plus like England

OP posts:
user1497480444 · 18/06/2017 19:49

the child doesn't have pale skin or any medical issues, you have absolutely no idea about that. none at all, and in any case, being intolerant of heat is not a "medical issue" it is well within the range of normal for a white Northern European. Hot sun made me feel miserable all my life, I didn't know why until the blood donation service messaged me and said during a routine review, i had been identified as one of MANY northern european whites who don't make enough red blood cells whilst out in direct hot sunlight, and in future not to bother to attempt to donate on hot sunny days.

Now I know why i feel really rough in the heat. Today a normal 20 minute walk I do every day took nearly an hour, because I was going slowly, and needed a rest, as I was feeling close to fainting. One of my DC also has the same reaction to hot sun, but even if he didn't there is no way I would be playing outside with him.

You don't know how sun makes these people feel, but you do know they don't like it. it could be giving them sudden aneamia. You don't know, and they might not know either, if they are not regular blood doners. They might just know it makes them feel weak and horrible and not know why. They certainly don't need you to feel "irritated" with them. .

Just leave them alone and stop being so superior and judgmental.

lalalalyra · 18/06/2017 19:49

I love getting my kids out in the sun, but if my 3yo gets too hot she's vile. So you'd hear her getting sent inside or to sit in the shade etc. It's for everyone's benefit, especially her own. It's much, much less hassle to get her out of the sun than it is to have the sun cream war more than once per day.

CivQueen · 18/06/2017 19:49

Blondes and vampire skinned lot here. Dh, me, dd4 and ds1.

We stay out of the sun between 11-3, especially in this heat as we would all burn if we didn't. With or without sunblock.

For this reason we have erected a massive pavilion in the garden so we can all play outside and in the pool whilst still being in the shade.

CivQueen · 18/06/2017 19:51

That's interesting user.

The sun has always made me feel awful. Lifeless and unwell.

honeysucklejasmine · 18/06/2017 19:52

I try to limit my DD to only going outside first thing and after 3pm. But that's because she's super pale and would spend all day in sun if I let her.

Original poster
OuchLegoHurts · 18/06/2017 19:57

Ok yes they all probably do have a blood disorder user and it's nothing to do with the parents being uptight. Even though I know they're uptight because I know them well.

OP posts:
LadyMonicaBaddingham · 18/06/2017 19:59

Never heard of the heat causing immediate anaemia! More details, please?