AIBU to be pissed off at DP?

[Maddogs]

So it's Father's Day! We have done the gifts, meal out etc.

I have 2 bored children at home now. DD (6) & DSS (10). DSS is playing on his Xbox with friends (through some head set thingy). DD wants to play with him. No he says, in ten minutes. Fair enough, after some scootering, make believe kitchen and mooching about she asks again (now been half an hour).

No says DSS. DP now intervened and said play for half an hour. Ten minutes later he isn't back on his Xbox. So DD asks to play with him. Again No

I said to DP I was annoyed because if DSS didn't want to play he should have said no. Not in ten minutes (repeatedly). DD has had a massive crying fit because 'no one wants her'. DP has gone to lie down because he is tired,and I've been left to deal with both of them

Also I listened to DP snore all bloody night while I was up with DD who had a upset tum, had an accident and wee'd all over me at half three and a puppy who woke me at 5.30!!! I'm bloody knackered.

Sorry for the length of this but im pissed off. Is it me or him?

My brother is 5 years older than me and it's only us two so I can relate to how your dd must feel though. I was constantly pestering him but he did play with me quite a bit looking back.

Ah well, it's all calm now. DSS still xboxing, DD colouring, DP snoring! Puppy keeping me company while
I clean the kitchen.
This heat doesn't help tempers at all.
Will have a chat with DP later about how we both handle the situation as this is bound to happen again!

I laid on the couch, watch TV, read, and napped on Mother's Day. My kids cleaned the house.

I wouldn't make my kids play together if they didn't want to.

He should have just said no, but if your DD is the type to throw a big 'nobody wants me' fit he understandably didn't want to deal with that. And he shouldn't have to. DD is annoying DSS, so instead of trying to make him entertain her when he clearly doesn't want to, remove her from the situation for a bit.

4 years is a huge age-gap at that age. Playing together won't work at all unless the older child is in the mood, and they rarely will be. Which again, fair enough.

There was nothing for your DP to deal with, unless you think he should have made DSS drop what he's doing because DD chucked a fit, in which case YABU. It's Father's Day, he can have a lie in if he wants.

Why are you pissed off with your dp? What did you want him to do? Make dss play with dd?

I just wanted him to actually DO something! Like tell DD not today rather than go "oh well" and then go for a nap.

It's an over reaction, I see that now. But it's borne from frustration about them being treated and disciplined differently.

E.g. If DD doesn't eat all her tea then no desert. DSS can do the same and be given ice cream.

I struggle to get DD to listen sometimes (world of her own) so DP shouts. Same thing with DSS - no shouting.

Etc etc
Just drives me mad. He's a lovely boy but he's going to be spoilt being treated like a golden boy. And it's hard being a stepparent and not overstepping my role.

Maddogs

Why don't you have a word with dss and let him know that he can say no.

And a word with dd to let her know that dss doesn't have to play with her

I will thanks boney, also a word with DP about double standards.

Out of curiosity, does DSS use the "in 10 minutes " like with your DH?

But aren't kids supposed to either take it in turns or share? So it's not actually ok for your DSS to hog the Xbox all the time.

She wanted to play with him, not the Xbox.

He is 10. Why on earth would he play with a 6 year old girl? And I see adults daily say to their kids "in a few minutes" with the hope by then they will have entertained themselves he probably has picked up on that. Let him enjoy his downtime the way he wants to.

Oh, I misread DixieFlatline, ooops.

Do talk to your DP as it's not ok to treat them differently and it will cause massive issues down the line.

Sent to soon. I will say though, my kids and step kids were all treated the same and the fact that he doesn't is a massive No No so you need to point your DP in the direction of parenting classes to teach him. It's hard when the parent is not in their lives everyday but it has to be consistent.

Am I the only one wondering why dp didn't play with his daughter?

His son was happily occupied so why wasn't he playing with her?

You have some weird ideas. Really? Does anyone still do the you can't have any desert until you've eaten all your dinner? The DSS has a better approach to food.

And it's ridiculous to expect the ten year old to play with the sister if he doesn't want to.

I have a 10 YO boy and 6 YO Girl. I would never force him to play with her. I expect he was hoping if he said ten minutes she would go away.

@Toysaurus the DSS has no approach to food. It's the father that doesn't enforce the same rules for both kids. I'm sure DD would have the same "healthy" approach if she was allowed to get away with it.
But sure,read what you want to see to make your point,whatever that may be.

I read what was written. All sounds like a lot of shit to me. Ten year old doesn't want to play with six year old. Step mum doesn't like it because her child doesn't get her own way. step mum doesn't get the two children are different, with different needs and different requirements.

Oh, she probably doesn't want to because the son is not hers. It's an age old story.