Album to be firmer with DS about potty training?

Dh used a phrase when dd2 was potty training "you can take a toddler to the toilet, but can't make them wee"

Give him the option of going back to nappies perhaps. He may say yes please, or he may not want to. Try and find him things he can do (dd1's job was getting the wipes during nappy changed) and I'd say things like "I'm so glad I have a big girl who can help, I don't know how I'd do this without her"

Do check he hasn't got worms first though. Some children it does set them back in potty training.

Eeeek that's a difficult one.

It absolutely not my normal way of operating but I would probably start to be sterner with him about it. Not massively so but enough that he starts to get the picture. The softly softly approach only works so fat

*far

Honestly, I'd put him back in nappies and try again in a few weeks. It took 3 aborted attempts to potty train DD, she just wasn't ready.

I've also got a newborn (almost 9 weeks) and if I had to deal with training/regular accidents on top of the regular newborn stuff I'd be rocking in a corner in the foetal position! Be kind to yourself and do whatever it takes to make your life easier.

Whoa there sweetie, he's only 3 he's still very small & he's dealing with the loss of your full attention & feeling superceded now there's a new baby. There's a very obvious cause :)

Is it possible he's doing it for your attention? If so, then make the effort to give the baby to someone else for half an hour & do a DS1 led activity with him, let him know he's important too.

If you're sleep deprived & knackered, then consider putting him back in nappies again until DS2 is a little older.

My son did exactly the same when DD came along.

Eventually, after being endlessly patient I decided he needed a consequence (I could tell it was purposeful, I remember him looking me in the eye once and pissing all over the sofa).

So every time he had an wee accident he had to sort himself out completely and "hand wash" his wet clothes in the bath. I kept it light but factual and relatively quickly he realised it was much easier to use the loo.

It sounds harsh but it's what worked for us.

I'd be inclined to just stick him back in nappies and train him again when things have settled a bit. He's still tiny.

Hmm it's a hard one. I'd be disinclined to go back to nappies after him doing so well for so long. But the regression is likely down to the new baby. I would certainly be having him sort the accidents out as much as he is able. For eg cleaning himself up and getting a new outfit/dressing himself. I'd draw the line at having him handwash the clothes though.
It is natural to become frustrated but in my experience showing that frustration only leads to more anxiety/accidents. I'd keep going with encouraging him to sit regularly and rewarding potty/toilet use.

Put him back in nappies or pull-ups. He's not ready yet. Possibly because he doesn't want to be but the actual reason isn't that important.

Being "sterner" with him would only add one punishment (accidents) to another (new baby taking all your attention), and that would be unkind. Three is still quite young to expect full and successful toilet-training. Remember very few children start Reception doubly incontinent. There's plenty of time

My DS did this when the DTs arrived too. The more pressure you put on him the worse it will get. Straight back to nappies until he feels better. There is nothing wrong with this! Toilet training can only happen when kids are ready.

He needs to know you love him and if you try to force him into something he's worried about he won't feel loved and will act out even more.

Expect other areas of regression too. My (very big) 3yo wanted to be swaddles and dresses and carried around. I indulged him for a day and he got over it.

Even if he's not making it clear in other ways, this change is so so hard for your son. He needs gentle nurturing. It's just the toilet. It can wait a little longer.

Yep I agree with others. Put him back in nappies or pull ups and back off until things settle. Which they will. Pressure and stress will only back fire and with a new baby to deal with it can wait.

I wouldn't go back to nappies

Don't put him back in nappies.

The issue isn't that he isn't physically ready. You know he is because he was ok until 9 weeks ago.

It's a behavioural issue. Definitely be firmer with him. As pp said you need to show him that not going to the toilet results in less attention than using the toilet would. So when he has a wee accident, you can say 'oh dear, now you need to get changed'. Then leave him to clean himself up. With a poo accident you'll obviously need to do some of the clean up, but you do it silence and send him to get clean clothes and dress himself.

At the same time, ask him if he'd like to try a wee/poo and go with him to the toilet. Chat with him. Read to him. Lots and lots of attention for going on the loo. None whatsoever when he has an accident.

It wouldn't be confusing to put him back in nappies. Explain to him that he needs to wear them until he can tell you when he needs to go. Give him a bit of space then maybe a sticker chart or something.

People who are telling you to be harsh have obviously never had a kid in this situation. Ignore them. Above PPs suggestion that you just walk off and leave him to change himself is abhorrent. He would feel totally unloved and abandoned.

You know he can do it and is just having a regression. You know he will be fine for reception. This is just about emotional needs. When a kid tells you they need extra love you listen and give it to them. So he acts like a baby for a few weeks, then he learns that his mum will meet his needs and he moves on.

I would only suggest going back to nappies if a child literally wasn't ready when you start training ie literally nothing going in potty. Blips like this due to changes need to be worked through imo. There are often a few periods with lots of accidents like this for various reasons imo when you toilet train kids and if you go back to nappies at every hurdle I think it would be confusing.

my daughter regressed when her brother was born and after a few weeks of struggling I put her back in nappuies. She was furious and took the nappies off but did start using toilet again so worth a try, if not just for your own sanity!

Personally I'd say carry on as you are. I wouldn't put him back in nappies and I wouldn't get stricter either. I'd just keep reminding myself that this is a normal thing and he'll get through it.

OP don't worry about your DS feeling unloved and abandoned if told to change himself!! That is nonsense. He won't. As long he is otherwise securely attached, loved and supported he will understand changing himself as a natural consequence of wetting himself, which it is. Combined with a flood of attention around positive toileting behaviour, it will be the quickest and most effective way to change this behaviour. No-one will be harmed in the process!

I would just take from this that people use different methods and whatever you decide it's highly likely that in a couple of years toilet training will be a distant memory. Just in time to start it all over again with your youngest!

Ask him if he wants to wear nappies again or pee in the potty or big toilet. He may want to be the baby again for a bit.

Don't go back on nappies, it's been too long.
I would go along the lines of 'oh no you've had an accident, what a shame you need to stop playing and get cleaned up, how boring and it takes a long time' in a cheerful / factual way.
Maybe if it inconveniences him he will start to act on the cues again, as it sounds like he had nearly cracked it.