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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is a bit much?

43 replies

Chamomiletea · 18/06/2017 06:21

Baby shower invite has a FAQ section;

  • No we don't know the sex of our baby and we won't be finding out, part of this is to have a surprise and the other part is to prevent reinforcing gender norms (which is something we will be trying to prevent throughout our parenting journey due to its link to an increase sexual and domestic violence rates especially in teenagers).

,

OP posts:
Chamomiletea · 18/06/2017 08:58

They are lovely people, very intelligent and I agree are up against society however - chill the f out it's a baby shower. Let's eat cake and compare birth stories...

Yes I am a shit friend openly admit it

OP posts:
Clalpolly · 18/06/2017 08:58

Having a baby shower could be seen as following as US lead trend which is uncomfortable to participate in.
Not saying that is what it is btw - not for me but other people seem to like them so, whatever you want.
How about suggesting a Red Cross donation instead of a gift instead of preaching gender politics.

smurfy2015 · 18/06/2017 09:08

@putdownyourphone Sun 18-Jun-17 08:23:59
Make sure you take a pink balloon and a blue balloon OP grin

And following the theme of gender assigned colours for the baby, you need 3
a pink balloon for a girl
a blue balloon for a boy
a lemon / light green for ,,,,,,, an alien

sounds like a bad case of precious first born syndrome
Hmm

MyCalmX · 18/06/2017 09:11

They sound like wankers tbh. I'd love to hear what the actual baby shower is like.

Guavaf1sh · 18/06/2017 09:17

I would so go to that as it seems so hilarious

SmileEachDay · 18/06/2017 09:18

I wonder how you reinforce gender norms whilst the baby is still in utero 🤔

By painting the nursery pink because it's a girl?

They sound earnest, but actually, good on then for being aware of this stuff, because it's insidious and really difficult to push against.

Having said that, I think baby showers are the height of meh....

glitterglitters · 18/06/2017 09:24

I mean I "get it" but at the same point my eyes rolled all the way back into my head.

chumpchange · 18/06/2017 09:27

"Our parenting journey" Grin

I agree with them completely, however it's not something I would put in writing in the FAQ of a baby shower invite Hmm Grin

MysweetAudrina · 18/06/2017 09:38

My long awaited for daughter has refused to subscribe to any gender norms since the day she was born. She plays on the boys football and hurling team and will only wear clothes out of the boys section. All those lovely clothes I have to pass by , no dolls or pink in this house although her brother choose a pink 8 candle for his birthday party yesterday. You get the child you are given and I guess the reason they are called gender norms is because that's what they are. It is probably as equally damaging to steer a child away from a norm as it is to push them into one if that's where they are comfortable.

MyCalmX · 18/06/2017 10:11

I agree Mysweet dd1 would be inconsolable if she couldn't wear a bit of pink every day. Dd2 is showing signs of being more like a tomboy in her behaviour. Both have been dressed the same (hand me downs) same toys etc.

They are who they are and this massive push away from gender norms is ridiculous. Let them be who they are.

Dressing them in pink when they're a baby won't equate to them only ever being a pink princess who only likes glittery shit.

troodiedoo · 18/06/2017 10:13

Bless em. Any other gems on the faq?

llhj · 18/06/2017 10:22

Well a baby shower seems a weird thing for people like that to have tbh. Is this in the USA?

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 18/06/2017 10:34

Parenting JOURNEY??!! I'm out... 😂😂😂

Lasagnabreath · 18/06/2017 11:20

So sick of this gender shit. If I got an invite like that I swear I would wait til the baby was born then depending onthe sex I would buy the most ridiculously gender stereotyped thing I could find and gift it to them with no ability to return it. What a bunch of sad twats. Tbh I probably wouldn't even go.

Umpteenthnamechange · 18/06/2017 13:42

mycalmX what is a tomboy? When you say your daughter is becoming one - what characteristics is she displaying that makes her a "tomboy" ie a girl who "acts like a boy".

Because - the moment you lost those characteristics (the ones you think make her a tomboy) you've admitted that those charecteristics are for boys. Therefore if a girl choose to display these - she is a tomboy.

And you've also accepted that there are certain things that are appropriate for girls (so your daughter that likes pink is not a tomboy because she acts like a girl - is likes pink frilly things) and the one who doesn't is a tomboy.

In that very statement you have ascribed one kind of behaviour as girlish and another kind as boyish. The girl who does/prefers this another kind is therefore a "tomboy".

If you don't see how gender is constantly produced - through language, rhetoric, norms, mores, discourse, images, merchandise, text and the world at large - this production often subtle and done over generations - then you're ignoring very many decades of scholarship and evidence on how gender socialisation happens and works within patriarchy.

OfficerVanHalen · 18/06/2017 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyCalmX · 18/06/2017 19:46

But the very fact we're telling boys and girls they are the same is utter bullshit. One can give birth, the other can't. I know there is a gender versus sex debate but I don't buy into that.

I can feel feminine while being as fucking smart and strong as a male. They're not exclusive.

Lasagnabreath · 18/06/2017 19:58

mycalm what are you on about?

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