To hate kissing

[Phillippaa]

I'm 28 now and this is something I've struggled with all my life.

I absolutely hate kissing. I find it revolting. I hate sharing saliva. It totally grosses me out.

I've had a number of boyfriends since I was 18 but I never felt any romantic love feelings. I remember having to put up with the kissing and just lying motionless during sex. I really enjoy their company but wished me were 'just friends'.

Aged 23 I made a real effort to date a particular guy as I knew he was a great person. I actually dated him for a year but in the end there were no feeling so I ended it.

I'm really lonely. I have a child from a guy I was only with a matter of weeks.

I'm really lonely. I'd absolutely love to have a boyfriend and feel that chemistry/intense sexual feelings everyone else seems to have experienced but I never have.

I'm 28 now and can't believe in 10 years I've never met anyone I've looked at and though 'I'd love to kiss him'.

I can objectively find a man handsome but when he eventually asks me out the attraction goes and once I start kissing him I find it an unpleasant experience.

I'm not asexual as I enjoy the sensation of sex. But not anything romantic. I just close my eyes. It could be anyone having sex with me.

I cannot relate to romantic movies. I can't relate to any couples. I know people fall in love but it's something I can't think I will ever experience.

I don't think there's a deeper issue here.

I had a great childhood, lovely friends, a wonderful career. I've always felt like this.

I hate kissing/sex/anything sexual.

The only thing I enjoy is doing fri bad things like watching tv.

I'd love a boyfriend that I never had to kiss or have sex with. So a friend basically! I desire to feel that romantic love and have a sexual relationship but I've never experienced those feelings.

Am I incredibly unusual?

AIBU to just accept this and not think there's anything 'wrong' with me?

Oh god, me! When I was a teenager my friends thought I was really weird for not pulling random guys on nights out but like, licking a strangers tongue? eugh

This sounds very complicated. You say you have a longing for a sexual and romantic relationship but as soon as kissing starts you are repelled. Could it be that what you are really longing for is an intimate and exclusive emotional connection with someone rather than anything physical? Is that sort of intense and often conflicted relationship missing in other areas of your life?

You may be asexual, you may be gay, you might well have not met the right person yet but whatever is going on it is bothering you and so is worthy of attention. If only because you sound lonely. You have taken a big step by airing your concerns here but I think some counselling might help. Look on the BACP website for someone local to you who deals in psychosexual issues - you want someone who won't be embarrassed by talking about sex.

I like hand holding. That's it.

You do sound very confused. You have a strong sex drive but hate sex/anything sexual?

Feeling revulsion to kissing is a strong reaction. You're not just feeling ambivalent, you're physically revolted.

Have you had bad experiences of sex in the past or been coerced into sex?

Some asexual people masturbate but don't have sex. So there is an interest in sex, just not to do it with anybody else.