Mother not pulling her weight

[Tomandjerry123]

My son is allowed to see his birth mother for 6 hours every other weekend, sometimes she picks him up and sometimes she doesn't. ( 90% of the time she doesn't) Today he was meant to see her and we arranged for her to collect him at 10am and promised she would turn up, This morning we got up and ready and he was stood at the door with his shoes on ready to go but come 10am no sign, I phoned her and sent her texts but no response .. come 1pm still no contact so i took it upon myself to take him to her instead ... I was fuming because I knew little man was looking forward to seeing her and after a few very old bangs on the door she answered and told me that she had just woke up! She took him in and said she will get ready for the day and then take him out ( due to timing he needed to be back to me by 4pm ) I then collected him at 4pm to find him sat on the iPad and she was still in her dressing gown! I asked what was going on as she said she would take him out and she told me she couldn't because she was feeling rough from going out last night.

I feel hurt, betrayed, Angry and just fed up for my son.

Luckily Little man hasn't seemed bothered as he is still very young and I limit screen time at home but I feel like he is missing out on so much.

I have spoken to her about it many times and she says that I am moaning about everything because she " sometimes" ( hardly ever) pays her money towards him and that I am just trying to find faults to stop her seeing him altogether. ( the money she is meant to give me every week isn't even enough to buy a weekly supply of nappies) and I KNOW she earns money on the side so the courts don't even get to see it.

What can I do or should I do from here? I don't want him to miss out on his time with his mum but at times it feels like she isn't even trying and has better things to be doing.

Please don't have him ready and waiting for her. As others have said stay in and do normal activities. If she arrives off he goes, if not wait an hour and then do what you want. At this point you cannot rely on her.

Am assuming you are your son's father and she is his mother ... in which case, why the "birth mother" ... she's his 'mother' (if I'm wrong about that and you are his 'adoptive parent' and she is indeed the 'birth mother' of a now adopted child, my thoughts might change a little).

I can completely understand your anger and frustration ... it's horrible to feel your child is being rejected by someone ... but I do think you are trying to over-control the situation, which (in my opinion) leaves your child as a pawn in the middle.

If his mother has form for letting him down in this way, stop telling him about her expected contact. Definitely stop getting him ready ... this v v v is not okay in these circumstances, mainly on his mother's part, but also on your's.
"he was stood at the door with his shoes on ready to go"

Certainly, have him available for her contact visits, by being in and not doing anything special/in particular, but - other than that - play it very low key.
If she doesn't turn up within a reasonable time, don't tell your son she was meant to have come , simply get on with the day with your child.
On no account take him to her house (or anywhere else) looking for her, "fuming" or otherwise ... if he didn't know about her expected contact then he won't be disappointed.

You will still have to deal with her disregard of agreed contact, but that is something to be done over time and through the proper channels ... dealing with all this (and the bad feeling resulting from those dealings) is certainly not something for your son to be exposed to ... he is not a little man, he's a little child, and you do have a part in all this.