To not say Happy Father's Day ...

[notgivingin789]

....to DS dad who doesn't bother to see DS, except for the out of the blue phone calls and if we pass him by on the street. A dad who has told me that he doesn't have a bond with DS but loves him anyway . A dad who pays the bare minimum in child support (£6.00 a week ) though holds a full time job and thinks what he pays DS is enough or what the law said his entitled to (HMRC don't know that his working). A dad who was abusive towards me, but it's not about me so that's not important.

However, my friend thinks I should be the mature and the bigger person and send DS dad a card a happy Father's Day card on the behalf of DS. Is she right as I feel like I'm compelled to do it for DS sake ?

YANBU

Fuck that, no way! £6????!

I wouldn't.

And I would probably be informing HMRC about his job.

Do not validate your ex's shitty behaviour by sending him a card!

Please don't!

Yanbu. I sent ds2's dad a card from him, but he's a decent person and a brilliant dad. Ds1's dad can go jump. but that's just me

How old is your ds?

If he wants to buy a card or has made one in school and wants to send it I wouldn't stop him but I wouldn't go out my way to organise anything.

You don't want your son to feel bad about not sending anything, even though your ex really doesn't sound like he deserves anything. I'd be guided by your son.

You'd have to be insane to buy that piece of work a card and your friend needs to raise her standards.

Thank you ! I thought I was being oddly mean / selfish. My friend however disagrees and thinks I should for DS sake. In my eyes, DS dad is not his father ( apart from the biological sense), a father is supposed to support their child emotionally, physically and mentally. He doesn't do zilch apart from the odd phone calls and the £6.00 a week pocket change.

Purple DS has made a card and does want to send it. However, DS dad has changed his number, when he calls us it's from an unknown number as he doesn't want me to know his number . His also moved houses, he has refused to tell me his address as he doesn't want me knowing where he lives ( part of his controlling fettish). If I told him that DS would like to send him a card, he would say " I'll make arrangements to see DS but I'm not giving you my address". This ethically means that he won't see DS or make promises to see him and often breaks it. What's the point? I don't know what to even tell DS?

Happy Fathers Day you absolute bell end. .
From your ds.

DS is 7.

That sounds absolutely rubbish.

I'd send it to his old address entirely for the sake of your son and consider that the end of it.

It's a bit more difficult if your child has made the card and will be excited to give it to his dad. Mine is only 18m old so I don't have to deal with that yet

I'd be telling HMRC that he is working too!

He pays £6 because he's "not working", but is really working full time and should be paying a lot more? That is beyond shitty behaviour towards his DS

Trust me, I want to tell HMRC but I don't want to bring trouble to my door. When angry, DS dad is a psychopath. I'm lucky now as his in a relatively new relationship , and as selfish as this sounds, I'm glad his attention is elsewhere other than me. DS Sadie extremely abusive and unpredictable. I don't know what he would even do if he knew I reported him.

But he wouldn't know it was you who'd told on him. Even if you didn't benefit from it, it would be good to know he was caught.

He would know, believe me.

Could you put the card in an envelope and send it to your mums or a friend that knows the situation, so you DS gets to send the card?

His family are not in the country and he his friends are like him.

I meant your friends or family. Just so your ds gets to send the card.