WIBU to say no to STBXHs request?

[TheVirgin]

STBXH and I separated about 2 months ago. He has since changed jobs and moved a 3 hour drive away so he sees the kids EOW and we plan to split their holidays 50/50. He emailed me today to say that it is normal that we share the responsibility of the driving and that he expects that we should either take it in turns or meet at a halfway point somewhere. WIBU to say no? I don't see how this is fair to me. I'd like to spend my Friday night doing something other than driving or just laze around on a Sunday sometimes. I would probably offer to do some of the driving if he lived closer and he had them during the week sometimes but it doesn't seem fair to me. I think he expects the same deal we had when we were married because I was the SAHM and he worked abroad mostly so he assumes I have nothing else to do but revolve my life around the children. I expect to start working in the coming months as well so it doesn't sit right with me. Kids are 5 and 8 if that matters. AIBU? I haven't responded to his email yet.

Yanbu

The parent who moved should spend the majority of the time and money involved in travelling for contact

I'll reject him nicely. This whole divorce is an exercise in diplomacy to a level I never thought I had :). He doesn't have family nearby to stay with but when I spoke to my solicitor he suggested travelodge. I have representation if this goes to court. It seems to be heading there anyway for the issues regarding financial matters. And he has not mentioned child maintenance yet either so that should be in the works soon. Thanks everyone. I just wanted to check if I was being sensible or not. From all that I've seen so far and all that I've read on here I expect his interest will wane shortly after the ink dries on the divorce papers and the OW moves in with him. Enjoy your Friday evenings! My weekend is child free and I can't decide between Chinese takeaway or bottle of wine tonight

Yabvu OP! 😠

IT should be a Chinese AND a bottle of wine! 😉🍷🍷🍷

Look up / get the legal advice and present him with that then it isn't personal. My friend was told be her solicitor that the parent moving must do the travelling.

Wow. I see he's good at spending your money. Not good at providing for your children. He should have been offering cash the moment his first pay packet hit his bank account even if it was a reduced amount if say he had on costs such as deposit for accommodation etc.

Definitely don't budge an inch. He doesn't sound like father of the year!

He's trying it on.

Of course YANBU.

My DH lives 140 miles away from his kids and we drive there and back to see them every weekend. He'd never even consider asking his ex to do the driving - he's the one that moved away, not her! So YANBU in my opinion OP.

YANBU, and the default should be that he moves so he travels, but if his taking the new job means he is going to give you enough maintenance that you can afford to run a reliable car and put petrol in it then it might be worth it. Especially if that means you can transport the kids straight from school and he can meet you half way for a cafe supper, for instance, instead of the kids having a late friday night commute.