To not want my 'friend's' Dd in class with mine?

[smartyclogs]

My Dd is 14 years old and due to start a new senior school in September. We're in Europe and this is her last year of middle school.
The new school has a policy of putting friends together in the same class but only if both sets of parents have requested it.

I'm kind of friendly with a mom whose Dd went to the same junior school as my Dd, they then went on to different middle schools.
They saw each other sparodically, once every three or four months, over the last three years but that was because I was meeting the mom, so the girls got together, never of their own accord.

So, they'll both be going to this new senior school and my 'friend' has asked me to put her Dds name on the enrollment form so the girls can be put in the same class. There is a special section on the form dedicated to this.

I don't really want to do this as the other girl can be a stroppy little madam, quite rude, not particularly friendly. She has the tendency to be quite moody and possessive. My Dd would prefer not to be in the same class to avoid any agro and be able to make new friends.

The school has explained that if the classes are formed and 'friends' are not together, to not worry, it will be a mistake, and they'll look again at the friend request on the enrollment forms and make the necerssary changes.
I was hoping that by not putting the other girls name on my form to avoid having them in class together, but this won't work as the school will clearly see that I didn't make the same request.

AIBU to not want to do this?
How can I get out of it?

Help.

There is a special section on the form dedicated to this.

Use the special section to state that under no circumstances would you want your DD to be in the same class as the other child has been possessive and rude to your dd and its in everyone's interests that they forge separate relationships

Don't leave it to chance, I would commumicate to the school that you don't want your DD to be in the same class as this girl.

Depending on how the form is laid out, I'd probably cover the section of the form with an address label and write on it my request to keep the two girls in separate classes. A covering letter is also good but easier to lose or ignore.

I agree with PPs that it's a good idea to talk to the school before you hand in the form and to tell the other girls parents that you want them in separate classes.

Don't leave it to chance, I would commumicate to the school that you don't want your DD to be in the same class as this girl.

I agree with notangelina. It's not enough to offer 'opportunity to make more friends' as a reason to this girl's mother. She'll just think 'Oh, they can make the same friends together then'. If they aren't in the same class, I'd be willing to bet that she will hotfoot it down to the school to correct this 'mistake' and if you haven't voiced your objections the school will have no reason to believe that it's not 'ok' to rearrange classes.

I have a feeling that this mother knows that her daughter has problems keeping friends and she's anxious to keep the one(s) she's got. It's very sad and I feel bad for the girl. But not to the extent of forcing the continuance of a friendship my child no longer wants.

I'd say it's up to your daughter who she puts down , I'd tell the mum exactly that (nicely) it's not really down to anyone but the kids

Why are you asking us? Your daughter doesn't want to be in the same class. Who cares about the other girl and her mum? They don't get to decide for your daughter.

tazerface You're right, that other people don't get to make decisions for my Dd or for me however I do worry about hurting feelings and was wondering if I was being unreasonable or not.
As acrossthepond said, I know that the mom is concerned about her Dd not having friends.
I said before that her Dd has got a very difficult character but not so much with my Dd. My Dd is friendly with everyone and manages to get on with this girl providing that it is for short periods of time, after which, she's had enough and is ready to go.
I guess my concern about them being in the same class is that others will gravitate away from them.

I was asking others wwyd in this situation, the classes will be quite big, 8 classes of 25 teenagers in each year, so plenty of other children to mix and mingle with whether in the same class or not.

Smartyclogs just send the polite decline to the mum, please don't tell the school you don't like their system. The problem doesn't lie with the school! You like anyone have the power to say no. It's a choice offered by the school and actually will be quite beneficial for some kids. Just because you don't want that choice doesn't mean nobody should have it.

Yes, just say you think it will be easier for your dd to make friends if she's on her own/fresh start, and that her DD and your DD will still be friends anyway, and can come over after school etc

Definitely speak to the school about your concerns and let them know that you do NOT want your DD to be put with her if at all possible. If she'sdifficult, then yes she may cling to your DD and put her at a disadvantage making new friends of her own.

Could you say to the mom that your dd would go mad if you suggested friends for her. Say you know what 14 year olds are like..so dam independent. Say you wouldnt dare interfere.