To not want her known as grandma?

[harlandfowkes]

My step mum often refers to herself as a grandma or nanny to my 2 year old DD. She often says it jokingly and if we are out together she will sometimes refer to me as her daughter. She now does the same with DD and will say 'my granddaughter' to people we don't know.

Family members asked on several occasions in front of her what DD will call her and I've always just said her name.

We are not close. She thinks we're closer than we are but she's said some horrible things to me that I will never forgive her for. She's not been a 'mum' to me IMO in any other sense other than being married to my dad. So for this reason it really bugs me. But obviously none of this affects DD. So Aibu? Should I ask her to stop?

I am a step grandparent' I was fully expecting to be referred to as Grandad and Molehill but they called me Nanny from the start, their choice. If you don't like it say so now, make a point when writing cards etc, To Grandad and X, love baby Harland. I was flattered to be called Nanny but it is definitely the parents choice what to call gps.

It's difficult but I separate it. I have never called my step mum anything except her name. With the kids they call her nanna because she's always been around and she's married to grandad. We never pushed either way. Even if she wasn't mum to me it doesn't mean she isn't nanna to them.

Sometimes it's easier to refer to people the "shortcut" way. My brothers partner refers to me as her sister in law because it's easier than "my partners sister"

Thanks everyone. It's not that we just don't have much of a relationship. I actively dislike her with bloody good reason, which is why it makes my teeth itch.

I think I'm just going to ignore it and smile but call her by her name whenever it comes up.

The card thing is a good idea but feel I'd look extremely petty as we don't really send cards.

I had a stepmother imposed on me in my 20s. When ds was born, my Dad wanted her to be Granny. She was referred to by her first name, as neither of ds's actual Grandmothers were having that, and neither was I.

harlandfowkes I do understand your dilemma, it was the same for my dad and his siblings; it went way beyond just not getting on.

I guess you stick with the first name thing, while accepting your daughter will call her what she wants.

I am step grandma to 6 and blood grandma to 3. My steps call me by an affectionate Gran xxxx chosen by me and their parents. My blood dgc call me Grandma. I love them all dearly.

I will go against the grain. Both my Dh's parents are remarried and everyone is a granny/nanny or Grandma or grandad or grandpa if that is what they would like to be called. They are going to be in your child's life for the rest of their lives and I think it is a nice way of treating the extended family. It is also easier when trying to arrange family functions as they feel like they are part of the family.

I have been in my DSS's life since he was tiny and would hate to think that his kids (when he has some) might not think of me as their Nana even though I am just "Allthebest" to him of course.

Owls Each to their own, as long as there was no abuse I can accept that.