To ask if you think this is unfair?

[Happyhappyveggie]

I come from a divorced family. Parents remarried and had other children. My dad had 2 more kids. He's bought them both houses. He's also helped my sister with a house deposit and paid for her wedding.
I have never asked for anything because I never wanted to but as a result, I am the only one left renting.
I am the only one with children and we are living in a small rented house where my kids can't have their own rooms.
Because I have never asked, no one has ever helped us. But now I feel it's all a bit unfair as my other 3 siblings have had help with housing but bit we haven't. And we are the ones really really struggling.
Aibu to feel that because I dont want to ask for help, I'm in a shit position?

If you feel so strongly about it then can you not swallow your pride for the sake of your family and ask him?

Well if you're struggling and you're not asking for help when he could afford it and has set a precedent with your siblings then you're being a bit silly imho.

Did your siblings all ask for theirs, or just get given it?

Are you close enough to your sister and step siblings to know whether or not they asked or were offered? My parents gave me money for my wedding and helped when I bought my house, but I had no idea that offer was on the table until I announced my engagement / started viewing houses.

I think the half siblings didnt need to ask but my real sister did. I just really hate having to ask but we are struggling with such high rent - i think it's making me feel bitter and I hate that!

Yanbu. That is unfair. Obviously your Dad is under no obligation to help you get a house but most people would feel hurt if a parent chose to help their siblings but not them. I would take it as a slight. Perhaps your Dad doesn't realise you could use some help.

Can you find a form of words that you're comfortable with? E.G. "Dad, it's great that you've been able to help Sis and Halves. I can see what a difference it's made to their lives. I'd really rather not ask you, but as far as I can see, you helping me is the only way that I can get on the property ladder and get somewhere where my DC/your GC can have their own rooms. So if you were still in a position to be able to help me/us, I just want to say that I/we would be very grateful."

Yes it does seem unfair, kudos to you for standing on your own feet though very admirable.

Perhaps ask him and see where he stands n the matter he must be worth a few bob to have provided for the others!

Mind you I intend to help my DD's out when and where required as and when its almost impossible round our way for any young couple to buy!

Understandable feelings, Op. Be honest with him, say what you've told us, that you don't want to ask but you are struggling, and that you know it is generous of him to help his other children, that plus your own struggle has you feeling like he doesn't want to help you....good luck, Op. He should help you if he's helped the others, I believe.

Sometimes a parent will look at a child who often asks for help as appreciating them, and the child who "doesn't need help" and not asking as the child who somehow doesn't care as much. I know that may sound nonsensical but I know of a situation like that. Let your dad take care of you a bit, lean on him, let him know you need him. That's just a suggestion, I don't know everything about your situation. Good luck.

Happyhappyveggie ask for help. If you get it, great. Good luck.

I'm in a very similar position op. And I must admit I can't help but feel little bitter. It seems the more you keep your head down and sort your own shit out the more the family think....... oh it's ok they are doing fine. I can't bring myself to ask for the same help as I don't want family members to dil into their nesteggs. Ironically the sibling who asked for help is the biggest earner out of us all ............

I'm kind of in a similar boat except that I know my parents put some money aside for me and I have too much freaking pride to ask! My other siblings have spent theirs, but I want to cringe inside out whenever I think of asking for it! I'll follow this thread to see how people advise you. But do try to ask if you need to

If you don't ask the answer will always be no and all that jazz.
He can't read your mind!

he probably has the money sat in a bank account waiting for you to mention you want to buy a house

if you want it- ask him