To think a card would have been nice

[wildflowerfable]

Dd has just turned one, and out of nine siblings between Dh and I, only three have gifted something for her birthday. One has learning disabilities and one is on holiday and forgot to send anything before dd's birthday, but that's still three that haven't. They knew it was her birthday as they were invited to her party (understandably too far to come), and I always remember their children's birthdays.

I'm not a materialistic person and don't expect gifts, but simply a card or even just an acknowledgement (such as a text or Facebook message) would have been lovely. I appreciate that dd doesn't know, but I feel as though since she's been born she's just been a bit ignored by them.

Writing this out now is making me realise maybe aibu, but I still can't help but feel a bit disappointed.

I have 7 nieces and nephews, plus three children of my own. Me and my siblings stopped worrying about cards etc for each others kids years ago. It doesn't mean we don't love them, we just don't stress about sending cards and presents anymore.

You could innocently ask, did you forget .........'s birthday? .... 😊 xx

Some people just don't do cards or presents for other people besides their kids. The suggestion that it means they don't care is just awful and plain wrong imo. Some people just can't afford it or may have things going on which you have no idea about.
Your daughter is one. She won't give a fuck about cards, presents or have any idea what a birthday is. There are a lot of siblings so maybe a no card/gift agreement would be best. Especially for those who can't afford it.

Wait a couple of days, some people are flaky and send things last min. My auntie always still sends a lovely birthday card to me but sometimes a week late.

Ohhbetty - you can get cards nowadays for 20p in b and m etc- no excuse imo - even if they cant afford a present or card, a simple text or phone call would be sufficient- no excuse really for it imo

A regularly forget to send any card for any occasion - basically I cba'd. But is doesn't mean I don't care for people. I seem to run around doing all sorts and it's just another thing to have to add to my lists. I would be more hurt if someone felt stressed at having to buy me a card, nips to the corner shop and selects the cheapest card available, and only did so because etiquette requires it.

Its great if you love/have time to select a beautiful card with an appropriate verse, and can afford £3+ ...and postage etc

Its fathers day on Sunday and I have to rush with the kids to Tesco later and buy a card and gift for Sunday. By Monday the card will be in the bin and the gift put in a drawer. In fact DH said he would rather go to our local Stately Home for a picnic and wander around.

I think it's just upset me a little as they seem to remember each others children's birthdays, but not my dd's. I would have even appreciated a facebook message. I don't mind so much if someone is consistently unreliable with remembering occasions, but I was just surprised dd didn't get a card or something.

It really isn't a big deal though I understand that, and will continue to send a little something for their children. I guess that for me it's just another thing on my list of feeling a bit left out by them, that's all.

We had this with our inlaws. It upset me greatly especially as they would send to DSS but not our DS! I expressed my disappointment to my MIL one time and she pointed out that they didn't really do cards in their family think they did!

She was also the type to accept lovely presents from us but give the grandchildren an Oxfam goat. We explained that if she would rather give to charity than receive gifts she should have let us known and we would have donated on her behalf rather than getting her the vair naice jacket she had dropped hints about!

Anyway next mother's day I didn't send her a card (yes I know DH should do it but it would never have happened if that were the case). Anyway all hell broke lose via StepDad as to why we hadn't sent one so I replied "I thought we didn't do cards in this family? That is what I was told last birthday!"

Yabu
None of my siblings recognise my children's birthdays. Even though I recognise their children's birthdays. Not everyone is that organised /thoughtful. It doesn't bother me.
Nb gifting as a verb is beyond naff

mammaofjoelandunbornboy I know many people who are scraping pennies together just to feed their families. I've been there. I also said some people just don't do birthdays as it gets too much especially in big families.