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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Selling my family home of 28 years and people expect ME to pay for their required alterations

231 replies

user1483875094 · 15/06/2017 17:46

Hello! I wondered if any of you might give me some sound advice.
I am selling my lovely (quite large) family home of 28 years, (so am very out of practice with selling and buying. Had three agents round, all said about the same sales price. Chose one, it went on the market. FLURRY of visitors as it is quite a lovely family home, 4 beds, two lounges, huge open plan kitchen diner - all up together and in very good order.
First offer, from a young couple who had made THREE visits, and they made an insulting and derisory offer, 60 k under the sales price! Their reason? They wanted to put a conservatory on the back, turn the large utility room into a down-stairs "wet room" (whatever that is) - knock a wall through from a small bedroom, and a small study upstairs to create a bigger bedroom, and cut down three lovely old trees. They reckoned that would "cost THEM" about 60k. Therefore the derisory offer. SORRY, what is it I am not "getting?" They saw the house 3 times, they had hundreds of photos, they had the accurate floor plans... WHY AM I EXPECTED TO PAY FOR THAT YOUNG COUPLES "DESIRES" - ??? I just don't get it! If they didn't like the house because it DIDNT HAVE A WET-ROOM, A CONSERVATORY, AND UNFORTUNATELY HAD TREES..... WHY COME AND VISIT? Sorry but I have been finding this whole process very trying indeed. Another couple, LOVED the house, and the massive amount of space - (but they would have to spend a "lot of money" to make it like THEY would want... so another nonsense offer! WHY VISIT IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!? Anyone got any advice? I don't "need to move" but have been here with my two daughters on our own for many years. They have both flown the nest and are settled - and I really don't need this big place on my own. We three decided it was a sensible move, to down-size. But WHY, in that process, should I give away 50 or 60 k. to young couples who want to vastly alter this house? I am on the cusp of taking it off the market, and sod it!

OP posts:
TinselTwins · 15/06/2017 18:30

It's also about what the buyers can offer you , if they're chain free then can offer even less and after getting stung by a few chain fails you'ld be biting their hands off etc

If you tell your EA your budget is £300k they'll show you all their £350k properties

and the more desperate for business EAs value too high in my experience.

TinselTwins · 15/06/2017 18:32

I think that people that tell house sellers that they want to rip their house to bits and change it are a bit rude

Sod that, when I sold the ideas was to make it not "my house" any more…. and I found estage agent feedback very valuable.

If you find it rude rather than useful… maybe you're not in the right mindset to be selling!

228agreenend · 15/06/2017 18:33

Estate agents price houses accordingly to what they think they will get, with a bit of give and take. A dated house will,probably have a lower price than a newly refurbished house.

If your house is the same price as similar houses which have been updated, then maybe it is overpriced. However, if it is priced 'sold as seen', then you shouldn't need to accept a huge reduced offer.

Cromwell1536 · 15/06/2017 18:33

You're not being unreasonable, but you are being emotional. Have you compared your house to others similar in the area on price? is it properly in the ballpark on price per square metre? The estate agent might well build a % discount into their recommended asking price. At what % below asking prices have properties been selling in your area? Or does everything go to sealed bids and end up above asking price? You need to know these things. And then you can work out your strategy. Can you sit and wait 12 months for the buyers who want your house so much they pay the asking price? or do you need /want to sell quickly? What's your best bet on what the housing market is likely to do in the next 12 months in your area and where you want to buy next? What is your competition at the moment? Is there a similar house for sale in the next street, but in better/more up-to-date condition than yours?

QuiteQuietly · 15/06/2017 18:34

YABU. Buyers can offer what they like. Vendors don't have to accept it. An offer is either the start of a negotiation process or the end of it. There is no point in being insulted. Personally the whole point of having an estate agent (and paying them a big chunk of money!) is to put some distance between you and the buyer. It doesn't matter what work they want to do to your home once it is no longer your home. It only matters whether you want to accept the amount of money they are proffering.

icelollycraving · 15/06/2017 18:34

I do understand why you are taking it personally. Why don't you instruct your estate agent to not pass on offers below x amount. As others have said it v much depends on what % that 60k is.

icelollycraving · 15/06/2017 18:36

Also,are you doing the viewings? If so, don't,get the ea to do it. Also tell them you aren't interested in the reasons for the offers,just what the ££ are.

UndersecretaryofWhimsy · 15/06/2017 18:37

It's not a model of tact and diplomacy to state to a vendor that you intend to rip their property to pieces and make it up again differently, but at the same time vendors really need to grasp that they're trying to make the house, y'know, not theirs anymore, and it's not a cause for pistols at dawn if someone wants a different layout or interior design style. Everyone has different taste and needs - as a vendor, you really need to detach and be realistic about your house's worth and appeal to your target market. As PPs have correctly observed, in most areas and price brackets it's a buyer's market right now. You HAVE to let go mentally and regard the house as not really yours anymore if you're committed to selling up.

If you can't keep yourself from getting upset when people talk about knocking down walls or ripping out bathrooms, it's probably best to have the agent handle all contact with prospective buyers, or you won't be able to treat it as the business transaction that it is and maximise your own interests.

FunSpunge · 15/06/2017 18:37

It is a business transaction. Every party involved is looking for the best price they can get.
You cannot take offers, which are below your expectation, personally.

I think you're in for a rough ride OP.

Earslaps · 15/06/2017 18:37

You lot obviously live in a different part of the country to us! No offers under asking price are ever accepted and things sell for over asking price!

We sold our last house for 7% over asking price and bought this one for 1% under, which was considered the bargain of the century for the area Grin.

New buyers will always want to put their mark on a property but you don't expect to drop the price. You'd only drop the price for say repairs that aren't obvious but need doing, like a new roof or rewiring (unless the price already reflects them.

TrueSay · 15/06/2017 18:38

And OP has disappeared

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 15/06/2017 18:38

If you tell your EA your budget is £300k they'll show you all their £350k properties

This in spades. Get the agent to "vet" all you like they will still show people with a lower budget your property because they knowown the majority of sellers will accept a lower than asking price offer.

TinselTwins · 15/06/2017 18:39

Estate agents price houses accordingly to what they think they will get, with a bit of give and take

Not round here, nobody pays over 90% and many pay a fair chunk less than that. It's just a starting point. Usually you offer very low, the vendor comes back with a slight reduction, and you meet somewhere in the middle.. if both are serious about buying/selling..

That is why survey valuations are lower than estage agent valuations - EA valuations are not what people actually pay so that's not what the house is actually worth!

Some will make high valuations to try to get you on their books if they're struggling against their competitors.

afatalflaw · 15/06/2017 18:39

I think from OP's point of view it is not so much the comments about changing things more that they are expecting her house to check everything on their wish list when they must know it doesn't and expecting a drop in price as a result. The same as saying, 'there isn't a swimming pool, we'll have to drop our offer by £30k so we can add one.' As if it's OP's responsibility to make the house perfect for them. The kind of people that do stuff like this are people who can't afford what they want so try to present it as a problem with the property when it is really a problem with the budget.

TinselTwins · 15/06/2017 18:41

You lot obviously live in a different part of the country to us! No offers under asking price are ever accepted and things sell for over asking price!

Usually in those areas properties are listed differently: "offers over/in excess of " rather than just XXXk

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 15/06/2017 18:41

The thing is, OP, other people do not want YOUR lovely house as it is. They want to make it their own lovely house, which will usually mean changing this and that or adding to it.

You are not forced to accept their offer, or any other. But you may have to accept a drop if you really want to sell. Many estate agents will routinely suggest an 'optimistic' price in order to get the business.

As others have said, offering 10% below asking is perfectly normal except in a seriously booming market. Whether 60k is excessive we can't tell, since you haven't told us your asking price.

Bambamrubblesmum · 15/06/2017 18:41

It's a business transaction. They don't give a fig how long you've been there, they are acting in their interests not yours.

Put your big girl business pants on and get back into the fray. It's not personal.

I take the view 'since when do your problems become my problems'. You can't afford a reasonable price then move along.

Have a chat with your agent about time wasters. Good luck!

BalloonSlayer · 15/06/2017 18:41

It's pretty crass to essentially say to the sellers what you need to do to their house to make it up to your standards though. A polite explanation would be "we think it's a bit overpriced, so this is our offer."

But the Estate agent won't pass that on of course, because it suggests that they might have over-valued the house. So they will pass on something that puts the buyer in a bad light.

They will of course have told the buyers all that they could do with the property, because as you point out it's clearly not what they are looking for. What the estate agent is hoping is that the couple will apply for a bigger mortgage and buy your house at full asking price. However the buyers, of course, are already at full stretch and think that the EA must be implying you will drop the price, because of course the EA understands they can't get a higher mortgage offer . . . And so on.

MissClimpsonsTypingBureau · 15/06/2017 18:41

Haggling is acceptable when buying houses.

Look at it from their point of view. They've gone to see your house - it's at the top end of their budget and not quite right for their needs (wet room suggests disabilities?). But they've loved it so they've worked out how much of their budget they'd need to spend to make it work for them and made an offer for what they can afford.

You're well within your rights to say no. But they are within their rights to make an offer too!

OwlOfBrown · 15/06/2017 18:44

If you don't have to move, just sit tight until the right buyer comes along.

Buyers will offer under the asking price - that's normal. If that is too low for you then simply turn them down. If they really want the house and can afford it, they'll increase their offer. If they won't increase their offer to what you'll be happy to accept, then they need to look for cheaper houses as yours is out of their price range. (And if I felt they were being cheeky to me, I would tell them exactly that and watch them squirm!)

TiredMumToTwo · 15/06/2017 18:45

Yabu

JigglyTuff · 15/06/2017 18:46

Tell the EA you're not interested in any offers less than X under the asking price. That will stop people who've watched too much Phil and Kirsty for being twats. Or if they are, you don't need to know about it. If you're not in a hurry to sell then don't.

I absolutely agree re EAs showing properties that are higher than people's ceiling. Waste of everyone's time

CiliatedEpithelium · 15/06/2017 18:47

You needs nerves of steel to buy and sell houses IMHO OP. Bide your time.

senua · 15/06/2017 18:48

MN is a funny old place. There is usually complaint about baby boomers "house blocking" by staying in houses that are too big for their needs. OP is trying to sell to downsize but is getting nothing but grief!
And everyone merrily telling her not to worry about £60k, like it's pocket money.
Stay where you are OP. You may not need rooms for DC now but you will need rooms for DGC at some time.

TinselTwins · 15/06/2017 18:48

It's pretty crass to essentially say to the sellers what you need to do to their house to make it up to your standards though. A polite explanation would be "we think it's a bit overpriced, so this is our offer."

If you're a vendor who is serious about selling that gives you ZERO to work with!

You get blind to your own house, if you really want to sell, you'll listen to the feedback, mainly the bad feedback - that's the feedback you need! Compliments are no use to me if I'm selling!