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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How do you indulge your proud parenting moments?

67 replies

DoubleCarrick · 14/06/2017 16:36

Ds did something today which I was proud of. So far so normal.

It got me thinking. It's good to share achievements and to enjoy the achievements of others but I'm learning that competitive parenting does exist and surely there is a line between being proud and boastful.

I've not told anyone apart from my mum!! about ds's little achievement today but for the first time ever am bursting with pride.

I don't think Ds is a little genius, he is my first born but don't think he's pfb, I'm normally laid back. Surely everyone at some point is bursting with pride about something their Ds has done but what do you do to make yourself not want to burst? What to do with the energy without ringing round and telling everyone?

Just a random musing really. MN has taught me to think before I share!

OP posts:

MrsOverTheRoad · 15/06/2017 08:03

Aw...OP....that's so cute Waving babies are the best!

MrsJayy · 15/06/2017 08:06

They really are the best little chubby baby hands waving is very cute ☺

Shockers · 15/06/2017 08:09

@Calyrical... tell us; we love proud moments .

Anatidae · 15/06/2017 08:19

That's sweet. No I would have no problem with 'cute pic of little Timmy waving'

Ours learned to do 'skål!' Last night and it was hilarious. That went on fb.

I think it's how you do it. Picture and caption along the lines of 'first steps! 😍' isn't offensive at all. It's just enjoying your kids.

Mulledwine1 · 15/06/2017 08:21

I don't have proud parenting moments because I don't think my son's achievements are much to do with me, and everything to do with him.

However, I am sometimes proud of HIM, eg sports achievements or if he does well in a school test. But not of my superior parenting, because I know it isn't anything to do with my parenting skills or lack thereof. If he does well in a sports event, that's down to him and his coach, nothing to do with me, although I obviously give him lifts to and from training and competitions.

I tell my mum and let her do the proud granny thing. She will tell all her friends for example that he has qualified to represent England in a (niche) sports event.

I did however put something on FB about his getting an award from his athletics club. Just because hell would have frozen over before he ever got anything from his football club so I did want to show off a bit about that.

Natsku · 15/06/2017 08:38

I love waving babies!

I post all my proud parent moments on Facebook, its the easiest and simplest way for my family and other parent friends to know and they all do the same for their moments. I especially like it now as the Facebook memories thing brings up those moments to remind me when they happened and what happened which is really useful right now as DD wants a story about when she was little every night.

spiderlight · 15/06/2017 18:52

That sounds adorable, OP! I shamelessly post on FB about things like that because it's the main way his grandparents who live 5 hours away keep up with what we're up to, and because I have lots of mum friends on there. No idea whether it pisses anybody off and I don't really care!

NataliaOsipova · 16/06/2017 10:12

No idea whether it pisses anybody off and I don't really care!

That's fine - as long as you can cope with the other side of that - i.e. that the people you've pissed off might think badly of you, or might say negative things about you, or may not wish to be your friend anymore.

The problem with Facebook is that there is not the filter that exists in real life. For example, my daughter did really well in her school tests. I was very proud of her. So, in order, I - a) told her I was really proud of her, b) told DH, c) told my mum and later d) told her godfather when he asked how she was doing.

I did not, however, tell my friend whose daughter is at the same school and - it transpired over coffee - had not done very well and she was worried about it. I did not tell my friend whose daughter is the same age but at another school as it creates a meaningless comparison. I did not tell my friend whose son is a similar age but has been diagnosed with autism and learning difficulties as it would be utterly insensitive.

If I'd posted on Facebook? I'd have told all the people I'd mentioned. All at once. And I'd potentially have caused a bit of angst to people I like and whose friendship I value.

That said, OP - even I would say posting about your son rolling over is fine and unlikely to upset anyone, unless you know for a fact others are worried about their own children.

clippityclop · 16/06/2017 16:04

Facebook can also serve the purpose of an electronic diary, and it's a lovely way to keep godparents etc overseas in touch. When there's so much sadness in the world it's lovely to have something to celebrate.

AVY1 · 16/06/2017 16:17

I Facebook but opt for close friends (so family and very close friends) if I know it's something people will want to see/hear about. Or I wait til I see people as they all love DD so much that she's always the first thing I get asked about.

Foureyesarebetterthantwo · 16/06/2017 17:47

I phone my mum and boast endlessly.

Also tell every member of the family, so if one person does something pretty amazing (like win a prize at school) I'd encourage them to tell their sibling/dad, whoever wasn't around when they first came in from school.

We have a meal/toast if it's a really great achievement, and one reason I love my husband is that when I have achieved something at work, like a promotion, or book published, he goes out and buys champagne and the children and him all toast me- so they see that their mum and her work is valued, his encouragement keeps me going!

Other than that, I half boast to my best friend, might mention a really big thing to one or two friends, but no mass communications about stuff. I love it when their children do well as well, and I then tell my mum 'ooh, such and such was the main part in the school play' and so we go on.

I don't believe in praise for every little thing, though, I can't be doing with praising rubbish drawings, prefer older children as they have a better estimation of their own abilities and know what they should be proud of.

itsonlysubterfuge · 16/06/2017 21:15

DH and I were at a playgroup and DD was pulling herself and standing. So DH and I were wearing these HUUGE grins and just vibrating with glee at her being able to do this. A couple came over to us and commented about her doing it and then immediately asked her age. They were feeling very down that their DD had no interest in standing even though she was about 6 months older than DD. We then said it was perfectly normal and she'd get there in her own time, but they felt bad and then so did we. Sometimes even when you don't share your pride, it still gets taken the wrong way....

I don't know the answer to your question, but I think you should be able to be proud and just open your windows and shout it out.

OhOurBilly · 16/06/2017 21:58

WhatsApp is my saviour here, I send everything ds does to my mam /dad/sister/husband. I am very PFB but I like to think I have a sense of humour about it Also, i joined in on one of the TTC threads here and 18 months on we all still chat daily, so we send pictures in there of how clever and wonderful these babies are!

Poor kid though, he did a larger than average poo today and I clapped and sang and song about it! (He's 6 months though, if I'm still doing it when he's 15 then someone needs to do an intervention.)

Jux · 17/06/2017 00:27

That's not mundane, that's awesome!!!!!!!

Be proud. Tell whoever you want to tell.

ChildishGambino · 17/06/2017 00:59

DD said Da Da the other day - 6months old. Videoed it and straight away sent it to DH (who was there anyway at the time), over to FB and gushed! Couldn't help it...

She's deffo PFB and I don't even care

ChildishGambino · 17/06/2017 01:00

OhOurBilly- big poos are to be celebrated and we have family WhatsApp groups so I share. A lot.

ChildishGambino · 17/06/2017 01:01

Also, sorry to high jack the thread but at 6m she can pass small objects from hand to hand using her first finger and thumb only. I'm in awe!

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