Being left out by friends.....

[Blueistheneworange]

My friends have in the past met up without me - by that I don't mean I couldn't make it but that they made arrangements for day trips or evening get-to-gethers and I wasn't invited. Some I've found out about when one or other of them would accidentally let something slip or if I happened to be passing by one of their homes and noticed the others cars parked outside.
Now I've found out that they are going on an over seas trip to my home country and I'm not invited again. I'm so hurt.....it seeems they are happy to be friends with me when it suits them and then I get sidelined when it doesn't. WIBU to just not respond to texts or make any meet ups and lose touch beyond a polite hello as we pass each othe in the street?

I think there can be a lot of angst about friendship groups and I honestly don't see the problem with different people within groups meeting up on their own.

I think it can be quite stifling to have to always meet as one homogenous mass.

However if you genuinely feel that you have outgrown the group, or vice versa, then just try to quietly & gracefully put some distance between you.

I have to admit, I'm not that familiar with AS, but I didn't think what Rolo said was that bad, and I'm wondering if the AS means that you often misunderstand people's intentions and you react according to what you have interpreted, rather than what the person meant? I may be off the mark though.

Can we be a bit kinder please to the OP who said she has aspergers syndrome, so may find social conventions / niceties difficult?

OP do your friends meet up with partners or just on your own? If it's the former they (maybe the husbands) feel awkward about your partner.

Also I think there's a big difference between a night out / coffee and an actual holiday. There's not many of my friends I would be prepared to go on holiday with.

I think you have 3 choices -

• accept these friendships for the level they are, but cultivate other friendships as well

• ask the friend you're closest to if there's anything you've done to offend, but do it in a non confrontational way and don't bring up the holiday

• phase them out if your life and just be on polite terms

I don't think it's a good idea just to rely on your wife to fulfil the role of friends as well as a partner as you suggested. My opinion is that it's always better not to burn bridges, all friendships ebb and glow through life.