if I don't reply to this friend?

[JumpingJellybeanz]

First off, I have AS so am genuinely confused about how to handle this friendship and really need some sound, but kind, advice.

I met this friend at language class. She's a newcomer so was keen to make friends (we're all foreigners). My best mate and I took her under our wings and all three of us got on great. The only problem was she was always late and it drives me up the bloody wall.

For example, one time after class we were meeting up for lunch at a restaurant 5 minutes from school. Mate and I got there a minute or two apart. Friend arrived half an hour later because she stopped to get some shopping on the way.

One time I was meeting her alone. She left me waiting for 20 minutes, knowing I was stood outside and it was -15C.

It came to a head at Christmas. I invited her family round for a meal. She accepted then asked if her mum could come too. Which was fine. 2 hours before she sent me a message saying her mum wanted to go to mass first so they'd be here half an hour late. I knew full well this was never going to happen. They'd have to leave immediately after and drive like bats out of hell. Sure enough half an hour after she said she'd be here I got a message saying they were just leaving and would be here soon. I replied that it was too late.

After this she kept asking my mate if I'd like to meet up for lunch again like we used to. Mate kept saying, why don't you ask Jumping and see.

A few weeks ago I thought I'd break the ice and invited her DS to my DS's birthday party. They came and and it was so nice. She asked about meeting up for lunch, I said I'd love to. So we arranged to meet up tomorrow.

I've just received a message cancelling because her friend is in town tomorrow so she's got to go help her with stuff instead, and when am I free next week.

AIBU if I don't bother replying? I'm so torn. She's so nice when we're together and we get on really well. But at the same time I feel so disrespected. I also feel guilty because this is a rebooking because I cancelled due to norovirus the week before last.

[mysteryfairy]

You rearranged once because of norovirus. She's gong to view a flat with someone who has to make a decision there and then. If I was the flat person I'd really want someone with me. Both of you had valid reasons to cancel and I doubt you'd be upset except for the history. I'd just rearrange for a mutually convenient time and hope it works out.

[StealthPolarBear]

Do you think she'll be late or pull out of the flat viewing at the last minue

[AlternativeTentacle]

So, either take the lead of your German friend who sounds awesome. Or think that actually, if her other friend is moving closer she might drop you like it's hot soon enough anyway. In fact, take it that she already has by cancelling you.

If you don't want to kill the friendship, then just stop arranging to meet up and if you see her in the street, take it from there but you know she will be late, she knows she will be late, you both know it will upset you so just 'do' your relationship differently.