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AIBU?

To think there may be some way to get my ex back

17 replies

Missshafinaa · 14/06/2017 10:15

When my daughter was born I shut everyone out. Was diagnosed with postnatal depression and left my ex.

He was absolutely heartbroken and had to have counselling and anti depressant and to cope. He loved me.

Now I've got better I realise it was my depression causing me not to want to be with my ex and I've secretly wanted to get back with him for months.

I was horrid to him and his family now hate me. He seems over me now anyway. AIBU to th and explain. Or do you Think there's probably too much water under the bridge now to even bother.

OP posts:
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dontpokethebear · 14/06/2017 10:18

I can't say whether you'll win him back, but he deserves an explanation and to see how things were for you.

Hoping you continue to get better op.

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Goodnamesalltaken · 14/06/2017 10:21

I'm sorry for what happened to you and am glad you got the help you needed. I think it could possibly be healing for both of you. Him to understand why you did what you did and for you to be able to explain your actions. Flowers

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FreeNiki · 14/06/2017 10:21

Depression can cause quite wild personality changes.

All you can do is ask to meet him or talk to him and see if he is open to a reconciliation.

Good luck.

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BeautyQueenFromMars · 14/06/2017 10:21

You could maybe write a letter of apology, explaining how the depression affected you. But don't apologise for being depressed! I wouldn't mention anything about wanting to get back together though. If he responds to the letter, you can take it from there. If he doesn't, then you know it's over and done with and you'll feel better for apologising.
Depression can be an evil beast, I'm sorry it affected you and your family so badly Flowers

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witsender · 14/06/2017 10:22

How long ago was it?

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Missshafinaa · 14/06/2017 10:22

It's been over a year now.

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FreeNiki · 14/06/2017 10:57

If you dont try you'll never know.

Telling him how you feel can only have a positive outcome imo.

Either you'll reconcile or you will have a much more amicable relationship which will only benefit your child.

I would also add that you should tell him you've been feeling this way for a while so he doesn't think it has just come out of the blue or that it has taken this long for you to come around.

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HildaOg · 14/06/2017 11:34

Send him a text apologising, explaining what happened and how much you regret it, let it roll from there. If he still wants you he'll make sure to be in a position where that can happen.

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TheNaze73 · 14/06/2017 11:38

I think you can try but, don't hold your breath. You need to be prepared to hear that he's moved on.
You never know what's around the corner though, so good luck Flowers

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Cocklodger · 14/06/2017 11:41

Honestly I'd leave well alone.
Yanbu whatever you decide though.

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cakecakecheese · 14/06/2017 11:43

Maybe start by asking if you can be friends? I think telling him you want him back might be a bit much but if you can start with a friendship it could build from there but a year is quite a lot of water under the bridge so it may prove difficult.

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ImperialBlether · 14/06/2017 11:44

I think you should meet him to explain, but not expect anything to come from it.

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caffeinestream · 14/06/2017 11:44

By all means, talk to him, but I think you need to be prepared for him to tell you that he's moved on and not remotely interested, I'm afraid. But you'll probably always regret it if you don't try.

I'm glad your PND is better though Flowers

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BillSykesDog · 14/06/2017 11:48

I think the fact that you can admit you behaved badly (although you were ill, so not your fault) is a really big step. Start by building bridges apologising to him and his family and explaining it was because you were ill. Explain it was a mistake.

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BoysofMelody · 14/06/2017 12:48

I would attempt to explain and talk, not with a view to getting back together, but just so you can explain why you behaved in the way, get a sense of resolution and hopefully move towards a friendly relationship with your ex so you you can be on the same page when it comes to co-parenting your daughter.

The breakup also hurt him greatly and to put pressure on him to re-kindle a relationship he is probably still coming to terms with the end of, isn't fair. In fact it do seem it would be particularly healthy for either of you.

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thethoughtfox · 14/06/2017 12:50

Explain and clear the air. It can only help improve relations with him and his family.

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faithkathy222 · 20/11/2018 07:01

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