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Original poster

Should she keep the baby?

15 replies

user1497403588 · 14/06/2017 02:38

My sister has found herself pregnant at just 20, she's with her loving partner the last 2 years and all going really well, this pregnancy came as a huge shock and she's now debating whether or not to terminate it.. though she keeps telling me obviously the pregnancy is growing on her and her and partner would be really happy about it only for family being negative, saying their life will be over, they dont need this etc, which is right too.

i think it's going to lead to her terminating it because of the stuff they are saying even though they're being realistic.. should she stay young for another few years? or will this be a good thing for her, and all of us!?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 14/06/2017 02:40

The only person who can answer this is your sister. If she wants to keep it, it's entirely her decision.

Italiangreyhound · 14/06/2017 03:15

Your sister's family need to butt out and you need to support her to make a decision that is right for her.

Her life will not be over if she keeps the baby. It may well change but it is very stupid to imply it will be over.

I also do not feel she will necessarily stay 'young' by terminating the pregnancy and losing her baby. If this is actually what she wants then terminating the pregnancy will most likely make her feel unhappy and sad, rather than carefree (which i am guessing is what you mean by young).

I agree with PurpleDaisies "The only person who can answer this is your sister. If she wants to keep it, it's entirely her decision."

But your family,/her family by butting in and messing around with her choices could just alienate themselves entirely from their grandchild!

Just imagine 50 years ago when families insisted their young, unmarried, pregnant daughter's give up their babies for adoption. All the sadness and heartache that has resulted from that!

Do not allow your family to make your sister's decision for her. Twenty is young but she is an adult and she can make this choice without her mum and dad!

Italiangreyhound · 14/06/2017 03:16

sorry... If this is actually what she doesn't want...

TheMaddHugger · 14/06/2017 03:50

We cannot answer this, nor can you

((((((Hugs))))) for your Sis and her partner

SamoyedSam · 14/06/2017 05:21

or will this be a good thing for her, and all of us!?
The last bit of that sentence worries me slightly, although you probably didn't mean for it to come across that way. But just emphasise to her how much this is absolutely her decision and how you and your family will support her whatever she chooses.

UserThenLotsOfNumbers · 14/06/2017 05:23

Your sister needs to do what's right for her. Flowers

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 14/06/2017 05:40

Yes she should keep the baby. She should also get rid of her horrible family!

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 14/06/2017 05:50

This is her decision, and no-one else's. To be perfectly blunt, it doesn't matter if it will work out for the family. Families are dynamic and ever-changing. It could fall apart in two years' time and she'll be left feeling that she was forced into an abortion for the sake of a family that doesn't speak anymore.

It's her choice, and her happiness and her ability to cope should be the only real considerations in this.

Her life won't be over. I had a baby at 19 unexpectedly; she has been the absolute making of me as an adult and I wouldn't change a thing. I'm 22 and absolutely love my life because of her.

GirlcalledJames · 14/06/2017 05:53

Nothing will damage the family more than your sister ending a pregnancy that she wants to keep because of them.
You could help her by telling the family that they have given their opinions and that they need to leave your sister space to make her decision, completely avoiding the topic until your sister tells them what she has decided. If they can't do this, your sister she feel free to avoid talking to them while she decides.
Put her in touch with an organisation that can counsel her (not a pro-life one) to let her talk though her options with a neutral party.

Upyourdaisy · 14/06/2017 05:59

It's completely her decision and it sounds like her family need to steer clear and give them the space they need to make that decision, themselves.

JustAMusing · 14/06/2017 06:00

What does it have to do with anyone else?

mygorgeousmilo · 14/06/2017 06:02

Why on earth is this a decision for all of us ?!

It depends, I guess, if there are some particular circumstances that you haven't divulged. At 20 I started my own business on the other side of the world and had been independent since my teens. I didn't have a kid, but if I did it wouldn't have affected anyone else at all. I think the last time I had any physical or emotional help was at about 15yo, so if that's the case with your sister then what's their problem? Pressuring someone into an abortion is a sure way to destroy a relationship. If she continues with the pregnancy, or decides on termination, it's entirely her call.

eeniemeenieminiemoe2014 · 14/06/2017 06:08

its up to her and please do not pressure her into a decision she doesnt want.

there are far worse things in life than a baby at 20.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/06/2017 06:14

She will be able to access the necessary counselling to give her/them the information to come to a more considered decision. Your family should not pressure her either way. If she is expecting familial childcare, informing her of what you all are or aren't able to do would be as far as I'd go. In a non judgmental way.

londonrach · 14/06/2017 06:18

Only one person has this decision...your sister with support from her partner. Just support her whatever she decides but dont tell her what to do.

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