to not give the teacher a gift?

[BabaBabybel]

This is DS's first year at school so unsure how this all works. I gave the nursery teachers a box of chocolates when he left but I genuinely thought they went above and beyond for DS and he was there for 2 years so he was very fond of them all.

This year he has had a nice teacher, but I havent been majorly impressed with her, he was bullied quite seriously at the beginning of the year and this wasn't taken seriously by her "they are only 4 they dont understand". I had to take it up with the headteacher to have a plan put in place as DS was tearful coming to school.

A group of mums are suggesting we all contribute to get her a gift and card, I thought gifts were more of an if you want to, rather than something everyone does. We have had a very skint year, and both DC's birthdays coming up and wouldnt have bought her a gift otherwise but I dont want to look stingy or unappreciative??

I'm a teacher and don't really notice if someone doesn't give a gift. I would hate anyone to feel like they had to!

Yanbu. It should not ever be something you feel you should do, only if you want to.

Just tell the group of mums you prefer to give a personal gift yourself. Then you can decide if you get the teacher one or not.
I used to hate the group gift thing that was usually started by the posh cliquey mums. The few of them would give out letters to everyone saying that you were to give £5 (one year it was £10 !) to them for a class gift. Since dd1 had over 30 in her class that was a lot of money they wanted. I was always a bit dubious as you can't be sure we're all the money actually goes.
I would aways decline and give my win gift

Stupid I pad stuck there.!

• my own gift.

You are spot on with the posh cliquey, the mum that suggested it is very wealthy and in the group of mums with very rich husbands. We really cant spare any right now and if I were to have bought a gift it would have been a card or cheap box of chocs so the 'contributing' I find awkward as what would be the expected amount??

YADNBU. It is ridiculous.