To feel completely miserable unless living near my parents

[Hopelessat30]

I feel so pathetic as I'm almost 30. I'm a professional with a good job and a beautiful 5 year old boy.

I've tried to make my own life and left home at 18. Loved the freedom while at uni but as soon as I finished I felt a loneliness that never ever went away.

I feel like a complete 'lose soul'. I love my work and have some good friends but I feel lonely and empty and spend every day missing my hometown.

I miss everything about it. Where I live now is much more glamorous but I miss where I was born. I don't feel at home anywhere else. I just feel like I'm a tourist in a new city.

In my hometown I have my two parents who I'm very close to and also my brother and his family. I also have my best friend and her family who I'm close to.

I pop in to my parents and my best friends family a lot and just feel warm and secure in my hometown.

I've finally got a chance to secure a job near my parents and I can't wait!

I've stayed so long only because i wanted my son to live near his Dad but I'm so isolated and lonely it's affecting my ability to be a Mum so I'm moving.

Is this really really pathetic?

I don't know why I'm like this. I just feel incredibly lonely anywhere but my hometown. Even when surrounded by friends. I feel lost without my family.

Is it pathetic?

*lost soul

I've lived in four separate towns for a total of 10 years. I just cannot feel settled anywhere.

Not pathetic. I'm a home bird too. How lovely you're moving back nearer your family and friends. Enjoy :)

It doesn't seem pathetic to me, but then I'm currently living in another country to my family and missing them a lot.

If you can go back , i.e. You've managed to get a job there, there seems no harm in moving back.

I would say not to expect everything to be perfect all the time with your family when you do move back- the dynamics of being away or living there will take a while to get used to.
Best of luck!

I haven't had the interview yet.

I'm hopeful though!

I was at my happiest when I was in a 3 mile radius of my sister ,she's in another country now

I know just what you mean OP and it's not pathetic at all.

I don't think it's pathetic. You are moving to be close to people you love and have strong bonds with. What is more important in life than that?

** sister and parents

Not pathetic at all, it's a testament to the loving relationship you have with your family and the good memories you share. Many people would give anything to have such a close relationship with their parents!

No, it isn't pathetic at all to need the people you love and who can support you, close by.

I'm exactly the same, and not in a position to move home yet :( but I think it's ok to be like us :) it's just a difference in people. My sister is the total opposite. Enjoy being home when you get there :)

I did the same. Left for uni, spread my wings, talked the talk about getting out of small town life etc.

Had children. Realised that I wasn't happy. Tried another small town near the city I lived. Still unhappy. Finally moved "home" and I'm so content. My siblings have moved further afield, my friends are spread far and wide and I don't talk to my parents- but still, being "home" has made me.

Thanks everyone.

I have everything here and feel stupid to be giving it up to move to a much less desireable area in what most people would consider a not particularly nice place.

But I can afford to live in a nice area with private schooling so my son should be fine.

I've tried to enjoy my life here. It's not happening.

Some people are just homebirds, there's no shame in that.

It's not as though you've spent your whole life in your parents pockets, you moved away, you didn't like it, and now you can move back. Job done methinks

Either you've posted this before or you have a soul twin... Someone has posted this exact scenario before down to the 5 yo and living near child's dad ... Perhaps it was pre job offer.

Live where you want. It does seem a bit needy to me, but if you've no support network of friends where you are it's not surprising.

Why even ask though, you must know that you can live where you want? Or is DC's dad winding you up about it or genuinely upset that contact will be difficult?

I don't think it's pathetic at all - makes sense to want to be near family and have their support.
I suppose the only thing I would think carefully about is whether you truly love your hometown, or you love the life you had back then - being a child, no responsibilities, living with family and being surrounded by love. I think it's common for nostalgia to take over, and it's important to realise that you might have the same sense of being a lost soul and out of place in your hometown as you do now, just because things have changed and times have moved on. The part of your life that the town represents is over, if that makes sense?
Provided you understand that, and don't want to move back for those reasons, I think you should give it a go.

No nothing wrong with that. You are happiest when around your loved ones. I'd say that's complely normal human behaviour. Good luck with the move back home

I wish I could go home- but it's just not viable. Couldn't wait to leave when I went to uni but since having children it's just brought it home to me how great it would be to have family and my best friend nearby. We even moved to be somewhere that felt more like home (hills and sea) than where we were settled for five years! Being away from the sea made me miserable- isn't it strange?

My eldest DD has got 3 young children, and she lives in the same village. There's no escape lol . She gets help/support, I get to see my very gorgeous and wonderful grandchildren most days. My middle DD moved out and came back 2 years later, and youngest DD has never left. I live within 6 miles of both of my parents, and have always done so. We're a family of home birds but I wouldn't change it for the world.

It's not pathetic. I get it even though I live over thousand miles away from my family (and I wouldn't be able to live near them again honestly, purely because I got used to my independence). But my other siblings are pretty happy to live together and see each other almost every day and there's nothing wrong with that.

Oh sorry, I misread! Fingers crossed for the interview

You poor wee soul!

Nothing wrong with you at all. You just love being near your family.

Stop being silly. I think it's lovely.

Fluff - I understand that. I can't sleep without mountains. I didn't know that for a while. But open expanses (ironically- the sea) aren't where my heart lies. I need mountains, grass and trees. I'm not woo, I'm not a weird naturist, but the landscape around me genuinely effects my mood and long term wellbeing.

Not at all pathetic. I'm from a small town outside the large city that I work in. My parents are less than 3 miles away, most of my friends are the same ones I had at school and live fairly locally. Some people are just homebirds. My sister has recently moved a bit further away, not far at all really, but says she feels too far away because it's too far to pop "home" of a random evening. Unless I had to do so for job reasons, I don't envisage moving much further away.