am i?

[Tortington]

We have ds's girlfriend over this changes the family dynamic somewhat,last night - i get home at 6pm - we eat immediatley.

so we let the gf and ds go on puter - they leave their seats for 5 mins and dh jumps in.

g/f and ds then come into living room where i am watching unibursity challenge.
"uniburbsity challenge is on" says i to dh - who usually watches it with me as we pityfully try to answer a question and laugh together at out ridiculous brainlessness ( and the student hairstyles) "in a minute" says he

they (g/f & ds) are both loud and disrespectful. and instead of causing any scene ( like i'm sure you would expect) i simply simmer.

DH still hasn't appeared and hasn't restored any discipline ( i'm sick of doing it becuase he doesnt want to look a dick in front of the GF)

having missed my programme becuase i cant hear the questions for giggling and tickling i then decide not to turn to something we would all like to watch ( becuase they pissed me off) and watched dispatches - domestic violence - oh the fun it was a barrell of laughs in the living room last night.

dh still hasn't appeared

the GF goes home

then i decide to watch 'animal farm' something about genetically modified animals versus organic. at which point i walk to kitchen giving DH a dirty look. he then follows me and we have an argument about him spending the evening on the puter.

"an hour" says he ( it was 9,30pm by this time as the gf went early)

he starts proving to me it was an hour " you watched that at such a time etc"

i said its been all evening. you left me with those pair of twonks with shit all on the tv all evening and no company

my point is that it isnt the amount of time he spent - i dont begrudge him, but when he did it and how he did it.

i decided i didn't want to row as he wasn't listening and being completely unreasonable with comments like " right well i'll spend 19 mins and 59 secs next time"

childish

so i went to bed at 9.30

i slept 8 hours and awoke naturally at just after 6 am.

i got myself ready at my leisure and came into work for 7.35

dh gets up late, the kids are late fro school ( i usually do the kids and school)ds is late for work.

its bin day - i took 2 bins out - he wont have done any more - after all he's late
i get a phone call " where are you? why did you leave early? why didn;t you wake us up? the Alarm didn't go off!"

"it is not my fault the alarm didn't go of, you do realise that don't you? its just one of those things" says i remaining calm as i am at the office.

and as a final cherry Dh nearly lost his marriage and children for spending too much time on a game on the computer...and other things

stiff drink and manly pat on the arm, Madame?

I'm geting a hint that you are a little pissed orf

Not unreasonable at all.

If you really wanted his company you should have said more than "our programme is on the telly"

He's not a mind reader - if you feel lonely and out of place without him in the living room you should have gone to him and asked him to join you. Or turned off the TV and had a conversation with ds and his gf.

I guess it depends with what he was doing on the computer. My DH likes making music on his PC and spends anything up to 4 hours on it - but it makes him happy, keeps him creative and he enjoys his hobby. If i ever feel like i am being neglected, i go in, tell him i want some company and ask him to join me for a bit. It works a lot better than getting in a modd because i haven't told him what i want and why.

On the face of it, it sounds like you are overreacting, however, I have a DH who is a PC addict, and often find him playing games when he is supposed to be doing other things, and can completely identify with how annoying it is. Think you prob should have gone in to him and said "get your ar*e in front of the tv with me now and dont leave me alone with these teenagers on heat" or something, but easier said than done. Dont think you were unreasonable for letting him oversleep, quite a good revenge tactic there, but prob not v fair to make kids late for school as well... (presuming there are others as well as the one with the gf, who sounds old enough to get himself up in the morning).

your right of course stiglatoid, advice i would have offered myself. i too subscribe to the "men arn't mind readers" school of thought.

i rather expected a little more effor considering our marriage was downt he toilet in december.

the alarm didn't go off - nowt to do with me - it was god telling me he's on my side i woke up naturally at just after 6 couldnt get back to sleep, was willing last night to sleep until the alarm went off at 7.20 - however i had my fill of sleep.

Custy come round and watch UC with us, it's the sport of the week in this house, we keep score and everything!

I think if I'd been you I would have gone to the pub.

i got all the car badges it was ded good - even the kids answered those and were well chuffed

"your right of course stiglatoid, advice i would have offered myself. i too subscribe to the "men arn't mind readers" school of thought.

i rather expected a little more effor considering our marriage was downt he toilet in december. "

Sorry - am new here and don't know the ins and outs of everything yet - just responding to your original post.

Sympathy. I'm marking Stigaloid's post for myself too. Hate it when they let you down, then you realise that you hadn't even told them what you were expecting!

Is there a case for having a chat with your ds too, about your expectations when his gf comes around - or just planning ahead for next time or getting yourself a telly in another room to watch? (We won't have one in our bedrooms, but we do have a cheapie second hand one in the kitchen.)

If all else fails, ceefax page 888 gives you the subitles, so that you can still 'hear' your programme over the giggling!

I didn't get car badges, DH scooped a couple of those.

I was very smug getting ribonucleic acid and got one those 'well fuck me' looks from DH. I love that.