Not to go to DN's 1st Birthday

[Meowstro]

I'm pregnant with my first and will be 35 weeks when DN is due to have his first birthday party. It will be 250 miles away where my ILs live so it will be a 5 hour car journey to get there. I'm consultant led, I've had a number of issues throughout my pregnancy and I'm concerned about traveling that far when I'm so far along. I've spoken to my DH and encouraged him to go if he wants to which he seemed OK with but we haven't said anything to BIL and SIL yet. I wondered if I'm BU before we have that conversation with them.

My first came as 35 weeks so I'm biased. I wouldn't go, I wouldn't expect you to be there

I travelled 280 miles and stayed overnight for my cousins wedding when I was 36 weeks pregnant. And I was consultant led too. It was stressful. I wouldn't have missed my cousins wedding for the life of me so not going just wasn't an option. But I scoped out the nearest hospitals just in case. And we had to do a million wee stops all the way there and back so it took frigging ages. Anything other than her wedding and I wouldn't have been gone.
Hopefully everyone will understand. If they don't then that's really not fair

I don't think I'd travel that far for a birthday party even if I wasn't pregnant. It's a ridiculous distance in my opinion unless you are planning a longer visit as part of it. I'd want to stay at least a few days to make the travelling worthwhile. Are you staying or doing another 250 miles journey back on the same day?

I wouldn't expect anyone to travel 5 hours each way to a one year olds birthdays party. That would be absolutely bonkers.

I'm currently planning my DD's first birthday party and wouldn't expect anyone to travel that far, especially not when heavily pregnant.

First birthday parties are for the benefit of the parents more than the child and you are being completely reasonable in not wanting to go!

I wouldn't do a 500 mile round trip for a first birthday party either and I would definitely not consider it if I was 35 weeks pregnant. I'm a consultant nosy person so feel free to quote 'your consultant' saying "big fat no to 5 hour car journey". A wedding would be different.

I wouldnt go that far for a 1st burthday without being pregnant. The kid wont even care if you are there or not!

I wouldnt expect anyone to have come to my kids birthdays that far either. We only had closest family to ours 1sts for a tea and watch them opening their pressies. Nobody travelled at all! Was different when they were older and had parties but not for 1 yr old!

Good god no don't go! 5 hours! Ridiculous. And really a 1yo's birthday is very boring and unnecessary, they don't have a clue what's going on they just cry and sleep.

And I agree with PP even without pregnancy I wouldn't go to a 1yo's party that far away. A wedding yes maybe but not a PFB fawning event party

We'd have gone on Saturday morning and come back late Sunday after the party, which is usually how visits go. Felt awful as this is DH's first DN, I'm an aunt on my side and have been at the 1st birthday party but it was locally and I wasn't heavily pregnant. At least I know it's not unreasonable pregnancy related tunnel vision!