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AIBU?

Family holiday

33 replies

DaddyPigsLoveSlave · 12/06/2017 18:07

We're on holiday at the moment - my partner, our DD and my parents - in a rented cottage in a little holiday complex.

DD, who is 3, has physical and learning disabilities. She's gorgeous and delightful but really hard work - very hyperactive and no sense of danger whatsoever, so she needs to be watched every second.

Before we booked the holiday, my parents said they'd look after DD sometimes, so DP and I could have a break. But 10 days in, they haven't had her on their own once, except for one evening, when partner and I went out for dinner once she was asleep.

Occasionally they'll say something about taking her for a walk but will then disappear, or open a beer or fall asleep.

I'm not expecting them to do anything difficult or complicated with her - no trips to the swimming pool or anything - but there are plenty of things to do in the place where we're staying where all they'd need to do would be keep an eye on her.

Earlier today, they said they'd take her into the games room, so she could have a play while they sat and watched, but my dad fell asleep and my mum disappeared, so DP ended up taking her while I made lunch.

AIBU to feel a bit let down? Or am I being entitled, expecting grandparents to pitch in a bit more?

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Glitterspy · 12/06/2017 19:31

I am posting to sympathise - my parents do this. We went on a long haul trip last year with my parents and my brother and his wife, to her (ie SIL's) country of origin. Everyone said beforehand how nice it would be to spend time with the kids (DD who was at that point 3 and DS who was 6 months), to look after them themselves now and again so DH and I could maybe have the odd beer, maybe I'd even get a dinner with my brother and his new wife, etc etc. Did we fuck. We didn't even get one single hour of help from any of them, the whole 2 weeks trip, despite us having shelled out for a suite in the hotel we were staying as we had all agreed in advance that would make it more pleasant for anyone to babysit. What's the point of me retelling the sorry tale? Just that it's not just you, the idea of helping with childcare is evidently far better than the reality, and if you want help you have to spell it out and ask, plainly and repeatedly. Don't expect offers and don't expect favours as they won't be forthcoming!! Hope you get some time to yourselves soon!!

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DaddyPigsLoveSlave · 12/06/2017 19:42

Oh god, Glitterspy, sympathies back to you! Something very similar happened to us last year when we spent bonkers money to go longhaul to a family thing. Everyone else had a marvellous time, sunbathing, diving, relaxing with cocktails, while we were either chasing after DD or imprisoned in our cottage while she slept.

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Itsjustaphase2016 · 12/06/2017 19:50

How come on your ONE break this year you went with your flippin mum and dad?! I love my parents and actually, they are very helpful with the children and would never ever say no to babysitting (they wouldn't probably offer in the first place..) but NO way would I be taking my only holiday with them!

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DaddyPigsLoveSlave · 12/06/2017 19:56

Hahaha! Good question - I think it's because we thought it might be more relaxing, with the toddler-chasing spread across four adults.

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thatverynightinmaxsroom · 12/06/2017 20:06

No, I don't think YANBU at all, given that they offered and that they see quite a bit of her so know that she's hard work.

I guess my only question is would you feel confident with them taking her out if they keep dozing off/disappearing?!

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Inertia · 12/06/2017 20:16

Are you cooking / doing recycling etc for your parents as well, or are they mucking in with the cleaning and cooking as well?

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DaddyPigsLoveSlave · 12/06/2017 20:46

We're sharing the cooking/cleaning/recycling. But update! Over supper, my dad announced that he doesn't think they've been doing enough to help with DD. Simultaneously, DP said "Oh no, you've done loads" and I said "Well, er..." Fingers crossed this means the winds of change are sweeping through El Dorado Holiday Village...

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user1492287253 · 12/06/2017 22:13

yanbu. we had this witb my dps when our kids were 3 and 1. out of 14 nights they bsbysat once!

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