To take the only accessible changing room in the swimming pool that some person was reserving for their son after their swimming lesson.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Ds 5 has just come out of his swimming lesson, I was standing with dd 10 who has ASD, and learning difficulties and high anxiety. I cannot leave her alone so she has to be with me at all times. Standing in front of the accessible cubicle was a lady, I went to go there with the kids and she said no my son has his things there (but no one was in there). So I went into a normal cubicle which was tiny, and could not fit three of us in. I was helping ds to change, and dd started to become anxious gearing towards meltdown mode.

So I marched over to the accessible cubicle, the lady had moved somewhere else, there was nobody in there except her sons things. I removed her sons things and put them outside and proceeded to to change ds, dd was in meltdown mode. Someone tapped on the door saying that a lady was reserving it, I just called out that 'sorry my dd has Autism and is having a meltdown, we need it now!

I hate it when that happens. Fair enough if somebody was using it, but standing outside reserving it makes me so angry.

No, I don't think you were unreasonable at all, they can't simply reserve a cubicle!

People do this ('reserve' changing rooms)?! Definitely not BU!

YWNBU. You can't reserve a cubicle.

YANBU- that's what lockers are for surely?

YANBU! I'd have just told her to move her stuff in the first place.

So I woukd not be U to do the same next week if that lady is doing the same. When dd is highly anxious or in meltdown,she can hurt others.

No you can't 'reserve' a cubicle, especially not by standing in front of it telling people who need to use it that they can't!

Totally not U to have done it and you wouldn't be U to do exactly the same thing in the future - although hopefully just go straight in first off rather than try to squeeze you all into a small cubicle

If she's doing it again, no ywnbu. And then I'd ask the pool operator to make it clear that the accessible cubicle can't be reserved. Might work against you sometimes of course.

YANBU, but is the issue that the pool needs more accessible changing areas? Is that something to raise with the pool management?

I can imagine a situation where a child needed an accessible cubicle, the mother didn't think there was anyone else who needed it and was fed up with people who didn't need the cubicle using it and so "reserved" it. (You're still completely right to use it, as you had an actual need for it, but I wouldn't think she was U to try and stop people who didn't need it)

If she was reserving it because she just wanted to, then that's not on.

Not unreasonable. We had similar, when I was in changing ds (6) and a lady banged vigorously on the door saying loudly, 'I need to change my baby, you need to clear the room!' unfortunately my response was to laugh at the words 'clear the room'...which made it sound as though her baby had done a very smelly poo.

You needed it. No one was using it at that moment.

Totally NBU!

You can't reserve a cubicle, let alone the sole accessible one. Imagine someone standing in front of a disabled toilet and turning people away, saying "my son will be along to use it in a moment". Nope

Not unreasonable. We had similar, when I was in changing ds (6) and a lady banged vigorously on the door saying loudly, 'I need to change my baby, you need to clear the room'

Haha! Reminds me of the time I was in the baby change room (only one changing station) with someone hammering on the door. I called out "just a minute" in a friendly voice. The hammering kept on, so I ended up screaming "YOU NEED TO WAIT!"

It felt good. Why the hell it hasn't occurred to her that the baby change room was occupied by someone changing their sodding baby, I'll never know.

I will ask the pool operator to put better signs on it, there really should be. If there was someone in there fair enough, I would have tried to find a far corner. Or used the disabled toilet outside the changing rooms.

YANBU and you explained why.

Perfectly reasonable. You were going to use the cubicle immediately, she wasn't, no discussion required.

YANBU. Take it up with the pool though, better to let them deal with the matter according to their equality policy.

We have that issue at our local pool - not just with the accessible cubicles. Reception staff come in periodically and empty all the stuff out the cubicles, jumble it in a bag and then tannoy that if people want to collect to come to reception. Saves customers getting involved.

I'd love it if pools had a system so you could tell if accesable rooms were free. Nothing worse than getting out pool being freezing and then can't shower to keep warm as accesable shower/shower seat is in the changing room. Especially as those using them may take longer than an average user.

YWNBU but she was being U if her son needed the accessible and she reserved it and if her son had no particular need for the accessible cubicle then she was VVVVU.

YADNBU

you wouldn't have been unreasonable to ignore her to begin with.

Worth a mention to reception so they can put up signs saying cubicles can't be reserved. At least then when people do it anyway you can point to the signs and cheerfully chuck their stuff in a puddle on a nearby bench

That's a good idea Olly, I think that staff should do that at our pool. Another parent had the same issue but she did not have a child with SN. Her child came out of the pool but she could not help him get changed, as there were people in the cubicle (fair enough) or entitled people like that parent standing outside cubicles reserving them.

Or rather sitting in cubicles and standing outside.