DD's eating habits

[hungrygurl]

NC

Yes it's my fault but I'm trying to fix it before it becomes a major issue.

DD is 4.5yo and from the moment she wakes up she says near enough constantly (it feels that way anyway) that she's hungry.

It began a few weeks ago when she said it id make her something as I thought she was actually hungry. But it got to the point where she was eating so much it rivalled what I was eating!. Since then I've cut down to breakfast, lunch and dinner. With one snack of fruit in the afternoon if she states she's hungry (and won't let up).

It was 5:30am this morning when she began saying it. It's just constant.

I am being strict with her. I'm not exactly thin myself and I don't want her to end up like me. Or DP (very overweight).

She is chunky but not fat.

So I'm leading by example now. I eat what she eats. I don't give her junk food but she is also very fussy with what she eats too. She's very active most of the time.

I'm thinking if working out each day and involving her. I don't want her to worry about her weight so young, that's my job. And I certainly don't want her to loose any, just don't want her to gain it. Yes I know, my fault.

Aibu to do this? Restrict her intake?

Depends whether the food she is eating is sufficient to fill her up and keep her from being hungry. What does she say in a typical day?

Eat, not say

What are her portion sizes like? Could she be genuinely hungry/growth spurt? My DS is a very slight 6 year old and I've been guilty of fixing him small portions and almost genuinely forgetting he needs more than when he was 4 say.

What sort of food is she getting? For example: a good bowl of porridge will fill you up far more than its calorific equivalent in toast (particularly white toast).

It's good that you are concerned. Any idea where she is on the BMI scale?

As long as you are confident that she has enough to maintain her energy levels and is growing normally I think you are fine to say no to constant snacking. I think one of the problems faced by society in general is that everyone is snacking so much that feeling hungry is actually quite rare. It's no big problem to feel hungry before a meal, some will argue that it actually help fussy eaters if they are genuinely hungry.
The other thing worth looking at is her fluid intake as thirst and hunger are often confused.

Take her out somewhere without food outlets all over the place a few days in a row and distract her to break the cycle, if it's only just started. By far the healthiest approach at only 3!

I wouldn't go as far as working out with her, but there's no harm in everyone becoming more active.

Walk in the park, bike ride, swim, trampoline park, scooter etc. Are there some journeys you currently drive that you can walk?

Also ditto what everyone else has said about empty calories and growth spurt.

DD is starving all the time. But she is skinny and well above height for her age.

What are you feeding her? Because when DD says she's hungry I offer a range of healthy ideas and if she doesn't want one of them, well she's not hungry, is she? Fussy isn't for snacks. I allow a certain amount of fussy for meals.

I agree about thirst - one of my DC is terrible for mixing hunger/ thirst signals (very active and does everything at full power, never keeps anything in reserve or holds back when playing sport or climbing/ running/cycling, so sweats a lot) - he's old enough now that he knows, but at 3 you have to watch it for her as well as introducing a routine of drinking half a glass of water and waiting 10 minutes (she's old enough to be shown where the hand will move to on the clock or use a timer) to see whether her tummy tells her she's still hungry or was actually thirsty.

My ds who's the same age is like this too. It's frustrating and sometimes hard to know if he's hungry or not. If she's active maybe she is hungry. I recognise that ds might be truly hungry after swimming or activity. I have also given in and let him gave food more than I normally would. However, it's become harder as inevitably dd now says she's hungry and wants something too.

Are you giving her healthy but filling snacks? What happens if you say no? I find my ds will go on and on and then after a while accepts it and I have to stay strong? Lots of times he then forgets but if he asks me again after a short while I will let him have something.

Is it stopping her eating her meals? Again I find I must be giving him too many snacks if he's not eating his meal and so know he wasn't really hungry.

When ds says he's hungry, particularly when he's literally just eaten my responses are;
Let that go down and see if you're hungry in x mins.
We ll be having lunch/dinner/snack in x mins
You can have something after x,y,z.
If you have something now you can't have anything until lunch/dinner or when we re at the park/soft play etc.
I tell him he can have x oat cakes etc and not to ask for any more or he won't get any at all.

I find these work most of the time.

As others have said it depends on what she's eating.

My DD(4) is going through a phase of being straving all the time. I've been giving her more filling food, swapping cereal to porridge etc.

Also unless we are within an hour of the next/ previous meal, I do let her snack, just not necessarily what she wants to eat! I hate being the 'gatekeeper' of food, so if she's peckish she can have anything from the fruit bowl, plain crackers/ breadsticks etc. I think it's healthy to give kids some power to regulate their own food, same for my 2yo.

I agree with @MrsTerryPratchett , if she is fussy for snacks then she is not really hungry. I know my dd2 (5yo) will moan about being hungry, but is only really hungry when she will eat an apple/pear/banana. If she was just eating fruit I think I'd let her eat as much as she wanted (maybe two pieces?) as it can be very uncomfortable to feel hungry.

She finished her lunch and said 'mummy I'm so full' then asked straight away for ice cream. I said no.

DP was taught he would always have afters or something after a meal. It drives me mad because he still does it now. Usually a bar of chocolate - big one.

For tea she's having spaghetti and meatballs

Watching with interest as I worry about DD too - she's 21 months and has a really healthy diet, but shouts for her treat foods (cheese and raisins) almost constantly! DP and I are both chunky and like food too much. I worry a LOT that she will be fat. Being the fat girl sucks!

I think a lot of my issues stem from an absolute prohibition by v healthy parents on treats apart from Christmas, birthdays etc. So they became a big deal and then when I could buy my own, I rebelled.

I intend to try and teach her that snacks in moderation are fine but she must work them off with a bike ride or something and to encourage healthy eating from the youngest possible age. Tips on here are great.

It's such a worry!

have you the means to weigh and measure her. Parents are often surprised that their "chunky" child is actually overweight

dan ( love the name by the way) I've always worked on the principle that treats are exactly thst; treats. So we have Tuesday night treats where they have a pudding or some chocolate and that's it. Not every day as then it's just an everyday food, not a treat.

Make some freeze pops out of puréed fruit/yogurt. That's 'ice cream'. We freeze the tubes of yogurt.

Ha thanks strawberry. That's exactly what I want to go for: normalising it. Friends of mine who had chocolate at home all the time just aren't interested in it. On the other hand, I may well still have been

One of the best things I ever read about food: "stop referring to it as a treat. You're not a dog!"

Danandand I'm like that too - the first time I had white bread at a friend's I thought it was ambrosia :o

My father ate a bar of dairy milk after dinner every night but we kids were expected to sit at his feet waiting to see whether he'd give us a square on Sunday only... He tried to do it to my kids and I must admit my response was to give them a bar of their own - it's like encouraging a dog to beg ffs! She also does penis portions, food shaming, constantly commenting on the weight of her aquaintences to the extent weight is the first thing she mentions if she is relating bumping into someone not seen in years...

Yes I used to steal cooking chocolate as an older child and bought shed loads of chocolate and Baileys whenever I was fed up as soon as I left home. Siblings are anorexic (one) and bolimic (the other).

Being overly controlling about children's food is as bad as letting them live on junk imo.

Distraction is best with food obsessed small ones (but also remembering they maybe mistaking tiredness or thirst for hunger or genuinely be hungry if growth spurting or if you well meaningly over limit food or a good group)

If you use sweet or any other categories of food as a treat or bribe or reward or mood lifter / consolation prize then they will want to self medicate with it despite being too young to know the term or be conscious that's what they are doing.

Other than spaghetti and meatballs what else do you feed her on average? Has it got enough protein and fibre in it to fill her up? I'd maybe look at trying to make the main meals more filling without loading the calories first.

Then, for snacks here we use:
Carrot/cucumber/red pepper sticks
Apple
Mini babybel
Oatcake

Etc. Stuff that's reasonably filling but not as exciting as chocolate or cakes etc.

We don't have pudding everyday. Generally if they ask for something sweet after dinner it's fruit or yoghurt, and i buy lower sugar options like Greek yoghurt or Light & Free.

Treats a couple of times a week would be a fun size chocolate bar or a treat size bag of Haribo.

"Proper" pudding usually once a week on our treat night.

'penis portions'

What are penis portions?!

Because I don't think I've had a penis portion since DD was conceived!!!

Anyway! For 'snacks' she has either a couple of crackers, a yoghurt, an apple or banana.

Only things she'll eat for breakfast, is either toast, or plain rice crispies. I've tried her with porridge (I love it) and she was nearly sick. I've made it different ways for her but she says she doesn't like the feel of it in her mouth. I'm like that with some foods so I don't push it.

She hates veggies but I chop them up fine and mix them into meals.

Should I ask nursery not to give her seconds? She will eat seconds there then a pudding too.

She'll eat sausages, home-made chicken nuggets, home-made chicken kievs, home-made meatballs, she won't eat pork, we don't eat lamb, she will have a very small amount of fish.

She loves beans, won't touch salad stuff. Even when I'm trying to encourage her to try something.

If she doesn't like something that's fine, we all have our dislikes, but I won't let her leave the table until she's tried one bite of the new food. If she spits it out due to texture, fine but she can't say she doesn't like it if she never tried it. Actually, there's been a few foods she's done that with and ended up munching it all up!.

Oh and she loves hard boiled eggs can, will occasionally eat scrambled eggs, depending on who's made them (me. Anyone else and she won't touch them!)

Oh and she won't eat beef either.

I just want her to be healthy and happy. I've struggled with my weight all my life. Only once being remotely happy with my size. Just before I got pregnant.

I have medical condition that makes it difficult to loose writhe so I have to work out a lot and restrict myself a lot before I see even the slightest change.

For example, my sister is a healthy weight, she hasn't the condition and she eats loads, take always at least once a week, I eat probably half what she does and am much more active, yet I weigh 9 stone more than her!.

Likelihood is my daughter will develop the same as me but I was already overweight so had a bad start, I don't want her to have a bad start too.

I'd like to break the cycle.

Sorry for rambling, had a couple of cosmos for the first time in forever!